A monstrous emperor sets out his orcs to find an ancient item that would grant him enormous power. Goblins come out of the woodwork as the side of good assembles a small group of humans, elves and other species to seek out this same item and end the evil emperor’s quest for domination. Sound familiar? It should, after all, this is the Fellowship of the…err…Knights of Bloodsteel.
Using what must have been the leftovers at the Lord of the Rings yard sale, the effects people have slapped on pointed ears and noises onto as many extras and actors they could find in an attempt to resurrect the enormous majesty of Middle-Earth (of course it goes by some other magical sounding, gibberish name here). Everyone babbles endlessly about elves this and goblins that to make the fantasy realm become more believable, but it becomes terribly inane tiresome by about the 18th time something “fantasy” is brought up in the first 5 minutes.
The item everyone is seeking is called Bloodsteel (because it sounds cool I suspect) and it’s origin is called the Crucible. Bloodsteel is powerful because both sorcerers and warriors alike wish to use it. What I just wrote was the actual justification that the film offered at the beginning narration.
This two-part series’ weak premise has none of the strength necessary to carry it through all of its 175 minutes, and there is no help offered from the actors. All of the lines seem laboured and none of the emotions genuine. The computer effects used to create the dragons are laughable and completely eliminate any thrills one might get from seeing our heroes face them. GWAR has more realistic battles on stage during their concerts. The journey our group of heroes make tries to recapture all the successful elements of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but falters in its efforts.
The odd time there is a decent shot or nice looking set piece, but it is often stained by wooden acting or preposterous dialogue. Much the same problems a Uwe Boll film faces, but with hardly THAT much incompetence. All this, and the main villains name is Dragon-Eye…seriously.
Video
Anamorphic Widescreen 1.66:1. Not the sharpest picture I’ve ever seen but still alright. The colours show well when they are there but this film is made mostly up of the dark tinges of green, blue and gold that are reminiscent of a certain Tolkien authored epic trilogy that remain nameless.
Audio
Dolby Digital 5.0 Surround. The drumming sounds of a scene transitions are decently booming and there is a nice use use of environmental sounds to create that immersion feel, but there are also some errors in the voice dubbing as well as some notably bad sound effects.
Special Features
There are no Special Features just as there is nothing special about this film.
Final Thoughts
This might make for a decent way to piss away an afternoon while watching The Sci-Fi Channel, but otherwise this is just too corny. It’s like watching all of the non-martial arts parts of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation together without any payoff. How can one take a reference to “The Great Battle of the Last Stand” seriously? They might have well said “The Big Important Epic Battle of the Big Important Epic Time” for all the cheesy significance they continuously try to muster within this story.
