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MGM

To Live and Die in L.A.

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 20th, 2005

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If your first introduction to William L. Petersen is through CSI, then you’re missing some real treats with his short-lived film career, which burned brightest about fifteen years before he ever became Gil Grissom and investigated his way onto our small screens and, subsequently, into our hearts. Both of his cinematic outings never got the respect due them until after Petersen reminded us he was still alive, still well, and still acting. His best effort was Manhunter, Michael Mann’s adaptation of the Th…
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House Where Evil Dwells

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 18th, 2005

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The next time you’re at the neighborhood Best Buy, find the packaging for The Grudge. Then, seek out an obscure new release of an old catalog favorite named The House Where Evil Dwells, and line up the boxes. You’ll be struck by how eerily similar the packaging is. Struck enough to turn them over and compare synopses. After doing so, you will notice not only is the packaging similar, but also the plotlines themselves.

Add to the mix the fact House is an early eighties horror film, and…
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Sex and the Teenage Mind

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 14th, 2005

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Virgin geek Virgil (Jay Michael Ferguson) sticks up for hot girl Kellie (Allison Lange) when a teacher rips into her for cheating on her history exam. Thankful for his bravery, Kellie invites Virgil over to her house to thank him.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, Sex and the Teenage Mind is a complete rehash of just about every teenage sex comedy ever made in the last 25 years. Even the red bikini featured on the DVD cover will have you screaming Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Ther…
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Sabata Trilogy, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 13th, 2005

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Synopsis

Lee Van Cleef, often a villain, incarnates a sneering hero in Sabata (1969). He uncovers skullduggery at the highest levels in a small town, and proceeds to blackmail the crooked, sadistic, and rather effeminate Colonel at the head of the criminal racket. Plenty of gadgety gun battles are involved.

Yul Brynner steps into the role for Adios, Sabata (1970), and this time he defends Mexican villagers against their tyrannical Austrian masters. Brynner cuts a fine figure i…
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Stargate SG-1 – The Complete Eighth Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 8th, 2005

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The first episode of Season 8 is appropriately titled “New Order”. Changes are inevitable as this superior series goes where no American sci-fi show has gone before, a tenth season. Richard Dean Anderson has been slowly removing himself from the everyday appearances since Season 7. Here he is made base commander, and while his responsibilities have increased, his screen time has certainly tumbled. By year 9 Anderson is nothing more than a memory and occasional guest star. Still… the huge changes haven’t come yet, and season 8 is your last chance to visit this core team on a regular basis.
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Battle of Britain

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 24th, 2005

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The Battle of Britain was a famous turning point in the World War Two theatre. The movie, Battle of Britain, was brought to your home theatre a few years ago. This single disc edition, with very few features, seemingly cried out for more. Now we have it in Battle of Britain: Collectors Edition, 2 discs of military goodness.

The film itself has spectacle. The planes used for this film helped create an air force equal to a medium sized country. No CGI here. The director is Guy Hamilton (b…
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Amityville Horror (2005), The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 16th, 2005

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Synopsis

One year after Ronald De Feo slaughtered his family, the Lutzes move into the creepy house. George (Ryan Reynolds) soon feels cold and starts acting cranky, and before you know it is looking like he might dish out some violence of his own. Meanwhile the youngest child is developing a troubling relationship with the ghost of a little girl. A frantic Kathy (Melissa George) is desperate to find out what is wrong with the house before it all ends in blood and tears.

Well done, boys. Yo…
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Platoon

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 11th, 2005

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Synopsis

There are a good number of people who have labeled Oliver Stone as a fan of conspiracy theories, out to destroy foundations of conservative ideology, while at the same time re-visiting 60’s nostalgic icons. Despite the jokes and the stereotyping, one has to admit that, as a filmmaker, he has helped bring to screen some of the most talked about cinematic experiences of our time, including Midnight Express, Scarface, not to mention Conan the Barbarian. As a director, his works, s…
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Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 6th, 2005

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This is not your father’s Sinbad. The emphasis is on the Bad, very bad. Seek and ye shall find no Ray Harryhausen magic to carry you away to distant lands and grand adventure. Lou Ferrigno was much better as The Hulk than as Sinbad. His much too modern use of slang coupled with a wise-guy barrage of one-liners makes this a difficult film to watch. Trust me. This film is really bad. Most disturbing is the total lack of respect the producers of this mess show for the grand traditions of previous Sinbad films. There is no majesty and mystery.
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Magic Sword, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 10th, 2005

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Synopsis

Evil wizard Basil Rathbone kidnaps a beautiful princess (Anne Helm), and the bland Gary Lockwood, who has loved her from afar, charges to the rescue with his magic horse, armour and sword. Along the way he must confront seven curses set by Rathbone (ogre, burning heat, hideous hag, dragon, and so on), not to mention the treachery of one of his party.

This is an all-ages fantasy from Bert I. Gordon, who is best known for his cheapjack back-projection SF epics the likes of The Ama…
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Warm Summer Rain

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 9th, 2005

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Synopsis

Kelly Lunch plays a young woman who begins the movie by attempting suicide. She is saved, and annoyed by the friends and family who visit her in the hospital, she takes off in her hospital clothes and a coat, hopping on a bus and getting off in the middle of a desert nowhere. One drunken night later, she wakes up in a house married to a stranger. Cue a whole bunch of sex scenes and psychological drama.

The film certainly aims high, with an arty tone set in the opening seconds, usin…
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Illegally Yours

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 7th, 2005

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Synopsis

Peter Bogdanovich may be the victim of having too much too soon, as he was well known for his work in the early 1970s, starting with The Last Picture Show and Paper Moon, but experienced a string of poorly received work as well. Following the 1980 murder of his girlfriend Dorothy Stratten (at the hands of her estranged husband), he stayed out of the business (and was bankrupt) for awhile, but returned in 1985 with the excellent film Mask. In Illegally Yours, he manages t…
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Wild Orchid 2: Blue Movie Blue

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 1st, 2005

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Synopsis

In the 1950s, Blue (Nina Siemaszko) travels from town to town with her itinerant jazz musician father (Tom Skerritt). When Dad is killed, Blue winds up under the thumb of brothel madam Wendy Hughes, and after some initial difficulty, assumes her new identity. But she pines for the boy (Brent Fraser) she met before her life went to hell, and she eventually fights to leave the addictive world of decadence she has entered. Escape will not be easy.

Writer/director Zalman King gave us t…
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The Noose Hangs High

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 27th, 2005

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It’s another case of mistaken identity that gets our boys (Abbott and Costello) in trouble, this time with a couple of gangsters. I’ve always been an Abbott and Costello fan but somehow missed this 1948 film over the years. It’s possible that because it was one of only a few pictures the duo did outside of Universal it did not enjoy the wide release their other works had. A few gems from the boys’ routines can be found. Look for the “horse eating his fodder” and “I’ll bet you you’re not here”. There is none of the Big Band Era song and dance routine to slow this film’s pace.
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The Naked Truth

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 27th, 2005

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The Naked Truth is a 1958 British farce that benefits most from an excellent performance by Peter Sellers. Sellers plays Sonny Boy MacGregor as a comedic Lon Chaney. Each of Sonny’s characters is a complete package from the makeup to the accents. Moments of the inspired genius that would be better displayed in The Pink Panther films make this average production something more. The comedy is decidedly European in flavor and probably not for everyone. Most of the film slows when Sellers is not on the scene
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Weekend at Bernie’s

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 22nd, 2005

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Synopsis

Well, considering that there were so many different strange film ideas in the 1980s, it was only a matter of time that someone write and produce a film about a dead guy, right? Well, you’re in luck, as two names from the period (Andrew McCarthy, St. Elmo’s Fire and Jonathan Silverman, Brighton Beach Memoirs) fulfill your wish as Weekend at Bernie’s finally comes to DVD.

McCarthy and Silverman play insurance reps with bigger aspirations in a owned by Bernie Lomax (Ter…
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Bolero

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 21st, 2005

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Synopsis

In the 1920s, heiress Bo Derek (looking wildly anachronistic) seeks to learn the ways of ecstasy. (Don’t get mad at me. I didn’t make this up.) Accompanied by her best friend and faithful chauffeur George Kennedy (here making a huge career step down from such *ahem* highs as The Concorde: Airport ‘79), she hares off to Morocco, inspired by Valentino movies to give her virginity to a sheik. When he fails to come through in the clutch, she next turns her sights on a Spanish bullfighter….
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Love at First Bite

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 14th, 2005

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Synopsis

Expropriated from his castle by the Romanian government (the place is going to be turned into a training facility for Olympic athletes), Count Dracula (George Hamilton) and Renfield (Arte Johnson, mimicking Dwight Frye’s laugh from the 1931 Dracula) make their way to New York. Dracula has fallen for a fashion model (Susan Saint James), convinced that she is the reincarnation of a woman he has loved before. Though something of a fish out of water, Dracula does his best to adapt to his …
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Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 7th, 2005

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Here’s a blast from the 80’s past, remember the Garbage Pail Kids? Remember those cards and stickers? Those gross out cartoon characters? Well…a parental protest put them out of circulation. But here’s the movie, called…well…The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. The barebones plot involves a human kid, played by Mackenzie Astin, who works in an antique shop owned by Cap’n Mancini (Anthony Newley). Stay away from the garbage pail, but no. The garbage can spills and enter…the Garbage Pail Kids. These kids…
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Starchaser – The Legend of Orin

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 29th, 2005

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Synopsis

In the midst of all of this Lucas-generated Star Wars hype, why not release an animated film on DVD whose storyline seems to eerily mirror Episode IV’s A New Hope? The story is about a boy named Orin, who works in an underground mine that’s guarded by silver stormtrooper-looking robots. I’m just saying. One day, he finds a sword that has magical powers, and with the help of his friends, he goes on an intergalactic adventure to free his friends from an evil warlord named Zygon. With he…
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Staying Together

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 27th, 2005

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Staying Together is one of those small town family stories. Growing up is hard, especially when you own a chicken restaurant. Dad, unfortunately, gives in to “big business”, and sells his restaurant to a chain franchise. This sale puts the family into turmoil and makes the family members reevaluate their relationships with each other. The brothers of the McDermott family are featured most prominently. The three brothers, in typical movie fashion, are distinctly different. Dermot Mulroney plays Kit, the ro…
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Stargate Atlantis – Rising (Pilot Episode)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 20th, 2005

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Stargate SG-1 is about to enter its ninth year. There was speculation that after season 8 the series would bow out gracefully with the anticipated exit of Richard Dean Anderson. With that plan in mind the folks at Stargate Command decided it was time to spin off the franchise, and so was born Atlantis. Stargate Atlantis boasts pretty much the same team as SG-1. The quality of the production and tight storytelling have translated well to this sister series. The only flaw in this plan is that fans don’t want to let go of the original.
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National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 16th, 2005

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As usual, National Lampoon comes up with a silly but at times funny movie – if you like silly that is. The two leading goofballs are just off the wall enough to make this movie bearable.

Gold Diggers is about two young losers named Cal (Will Friedle) and Lenny (Chris Owen) who enter a life of crime trying to survive on the streets. Unfortunately, they are terrible at it and end up going in and out of jail a couple of times before things begin to look up for them – they attempt to rob two very old si…
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Swimming Upstream

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 9th, 2005

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Swimming Upstream is one of those “small” sports underdog films. It’s a true story about Aussie Tony Fingleton, a swimmer who vies to be National champion. Is he racing against all odds? Well…the odds are in the form of family. Geoffrey Rush plays Fingleton’s father, an abusive alcholic. So…not only is Fingleton trying to achieve athletic glory, but also trying to win the heart of his father. This is a paint by numbers sports story. The performances are the saving grace, however. Rush, Jesse Spencer …
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Princess and the Pirate, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 5th, 2005

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Synopsis

Without a doubt, Bob Hope was one of (if not) the best comedic actors of his era. During a time after Charlie Chaplin had peaked in silent films, Hope picked up the comedic torch, and during a time where actors consistently appeared in 3-5 films a year, and an early recognizable title was 1940’s Road to Singapore, the first of several Road To films with him and friends Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour.

The Princess and the Pirate, made in 1944, was made during this …
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