2.35:1 Widescreen

Return to Peyton Place

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 25th, 2005

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Synopsis

More sordidness comes to light in the town of Peyton Place. Carol Lynley publishes a bookthat features a thinly disguised version of the town, and exposing the hypocrisies doesn’t earnher any friends. Off to the Big Apple, she becomes more friendly than perhaps she should withthe publisher (Jeff Chandler). Mother From Hell Mary Astor tries to destroy her son’s marriageto Luciana Paluzzi, and so it goes.

The star wattage isn’t as strong as the first film (no Lana Tur…
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Taxi

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 24th, 2005

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Written by Jason Franz

Synopsis

In Taxi, Jimmy Fallon plays a bumbling big city cop (Washburn) that has an extremely bad driving record, trying to catch a big case. Queen Latifah plays a bicycle messenger (Belle) trying to make it as a New York cabbie in her home-made “super cab”. The two meet up when Fallon comes accross a robery while walking the beat. Hilarity does not ensue.

Taxi tries to do it all. Deliver laughs, action and a bit of drama and manages to fail on every attempt. From the unbelievable “…
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Wimbledon

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 16th, 2005

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Synopsis

Paul Bettany once had an almost-promising career in tennis, but he’s on his way out now,and his last hurrah is a wild-card placement he’s landed at Wimbledon. A chance encounter withrising super-alpha player Kirsten Dunst revives his passion for both life and the game, and hesuddenly starts beating all comers. Her game, however, begins to suffer as she becomesdistracted by her new relationship.

As a romantic comedy, this leaves much to be desired. Top-billed Dunst i…
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Showgirls

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 14th, 2005

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First off, let me say that if you have only seen Showgirls on VH-1, then you haven’t had the full experience. It’s bad on network television, but the sheer scope of how truly awful it is can only be experienced in the full, uncut version. Laughing at an idiot is one thing. Laughing at a naked idiot is something else entirely. It’s amazing how un-sexy this film really is. Showgirls is funny in the same way that it was funny to make fun of the fat kid riding in the front of the bus in Junior High. …
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Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King – Extended Edition

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 13th, 2005

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“All good things must come to an end…” Truer words have never been spoken, especially when it comes to describing what may be argued as the greatest epic ever produced for the silver screen. Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy has redefined excellence in movie making. The only other series that I can compare this accomplishment to is, not surprisingly, the original Star Wars trilogy in terms of the scope of what was accomplished – old fashioned story telling which captured its audience with ground…
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Witch Who Came From The Sea, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 12th, 2005

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Synopsis

Molly (Millie Perkins) is seriously disconnected from reality. She tells her two nephewswonderful tales about their grandfather, whom she declares a saint, even though we see (indisturbing flashbacks), that he repeatedly raped her. She also enjoys ogling well-built men andfantasizing about their violent deaths. But she doesn’t stop at fantasizing…

Well! Here she is, Anne Frank herself (from the 1959 film) all grown up and castrating menwith safety razors. This is …
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De-Lovely

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 11th, 2005

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De-Lovely is a musical bio-pic based on the life of Cole Porter. Now, Porter was an American genius, responsible for writing such song classics as “Love for Sale” and “Anything Goes”. Porter’s personal life was also legendary. He had a wife, but also had affairs with men. Porter also suffered a horse riding accident in the late 1930’s that debilitated him for the rest of his life (to his death in 1964). Sounds like the great makings of a movie, right? Well….

Kevin Kline plays Cole Porter, and h…
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Troy

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 11th, 2005

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The story of Troy and the warrior Achilles is the stuff of legends now brought to life by Wolfgang Peterson. With an ensemble cast including Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Peter O’Toole, Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson and Sean Bean there are only two things that can happen, magic or mediocrity. In this case I think we end up somewhere in between. Some scenes like the battle between Achilles and Hector is incredible while the storming of the beach at Troy is almost downright laughable. Overall though the film works I just wish it …
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Master of the Flying Guillotine

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 8th, 2005

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Synopsis

China is under the rule of the Ching dynasty, who send out assassins to kill anyone whochallenges the regime. Greatest of these assassins is the blind master of the flying guillotine. Hesets out to kill the One-Armed Boxer (don’t ask me why all these guys have disabilities). Thecharacters come together at a huge martial arts tournament (this is where Mortal Kombatcomes from, kiddies). The plot is no more developed than that of a typical porno. The film’sreason for be…
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Door in the Floor, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 31st, 2004

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On the DVD cover of The Door in the Floor, the writing promises “surprises”, “shocks”, and “cuts like a knife”. One would think this movie would be a thriller. False advertising can get you nowhere. The Door in the Floor is far from a thriller, but more in the meditation on love, loss, and loneliness genre. Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger star as a dysfunctional married couple. Things are far from blissful. Bridges is a writer of children’s fiction; Basinger is, well, I’m not sure what she does. Bu…
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Shaun of the Dead

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

Shaun (co-writer Simon Pegg) is on the cusp of his thirties, and still has growing up to do.He and girlfriend Liz wind up in the Winchester pub every night, and she’s sick of it, much to thedelight of her roommates Liz and David (the latter being an insufferable twit who pines for Liz).His best friend Ed is a pig, and has crashed permanently in Shaun’s house, much to thedispleasure of his housemate, Pete. Liz dumps Shaun, who thinks his life is over. Then, hegradually becom…
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AVP: Alien vs. Predator

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

Set in the near future, well before the Alien films but after the Predatorfranchise, AVP has a group of scientists and security experts in the pay of the LanceHenriksen (Weyland, of the Weyland-Utani Corporation that plays such an important role in theAlien films) arrive in Antarctica. Here they find a pyramid buried deep in the ice, whichturns out to be a Predator training site. A trio of these creatures arrives for training, but thehumans have …
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King Arthur

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

After fifteen years in the service of the Roman army in Britain, Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) andother knights of the round table look forward to being released and returning to their homelandof Samartia. Their leader, Arthur (Clive Owen), pines for Rome. But one last rescue missionturns into a nightmare, and then the Saxons invade. Gradually, our heroes discover that they lovetheir adopted country, and Arthur has his illusions about Rome destroyed one by one.

The look …
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Garden State

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 11th, 2004

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Synopsis

Zach Braff (who also wrote and directed) stars as Andrew Largeman, a young man so heavilymedicated since his childhood that he finds it completely impossible to experience any kind ofemotion. This is true even at his mother’s funeral, for which he returns from LA to New Jersey.There he reconnects with his old friends (chief among them being Peter Sarsgaard), all of whomare living odd, if aimless lives, and encounters Sam (Natalie Portman), whose emotions-on-the-sleeve appro…
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Facing Windows

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

Giovanna Mezzogiorno plays a wife and mother (also named Giovanna) who is frustratedand ground down by her lot in life. Her job is depressing, her marriage has lost all its spark, andshe lives in a building that echoes with the furious battles of dysfunctional couples. She is alsofascinated by the man she sees across the way, whose life in all respects seems to be the oppositeof hers. The catalyst for change in her life is the arrival of Simone, an elderly amnesiac whom her…
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Godzilla – Tokyo SOS

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 2nd, 2004

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Synopsis

A year after the clash seen in Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla, the giant robot built around the bones of the original Godzilla is still being repaired. Mothra and her two fairy princesses appear to warn humanity to return the bones to the sea, but the authorities do not listen, and Godzilla, drawn to Mechagodzilla, returns to ravage Tokyo. A titanic battle ensues, with Mechagodzilla and Mothra struggling to save the city from the unstoppable lizard.

The case could certainly …
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Wild at Heart

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 24th, 2004

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Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern are the last-word in star-crossed lovers. Pursued by theminions of Dern’s psychopathic mother Diane Ladd, they engage in a nightmarishly picaresquejourney across the American south, encountering one grotesque after another (most memorablyWillem Dafoe’s deeply creepy Bobby Peru). The over-the-top sex and violence is held togetherby a narrative that is a dark remake of The Wizard of Oz.

This was David Lynch’s follow-up to Blue Vel…
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I, Robot

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

In a rather sparsely populated Chicago in 2035, Detective Spooner (Will Smith) is called into investigate the death of US Robotics’ top scientist (Jame Cromwell). Spooner has deep-seatedprejudices against robots, and is eager to believe that a robot is the murderer. Evidence suggeststhat he is right, but then the signs build that the problem is much bigger: a general robot rebellionmight be in the works.

Director Alex Proyas, after The Crow, gave us Dark C…
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How to Steal a Million

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

Audrey Hepburn is the long-suffering daughter of incorrigible art forger Hugh Griffith. Whena phony Cellini sculpture Griffith has loaned to a museum is going to be subject to anauthenticity test, Hepburn decides to save her father by stealing their own statue. She enlists theaid of Peter O’Toole, whom she believes to be a professional burglar. The stage is set for anelaborate heist at the highly secure museum, not to mention a little bit of romance along theway.

Around the World in 80 Days (2004)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 17th, 2004

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The original Around the World in 80 Days is known for its spirit of adventure, wild cameos, and also one of the weaker movies to win an Academy Award for Best Picture. Disney’s remake of Around the World still has that sense of adventure, has a few funny cameos, and is in no danger of winning Best Picture.

Based on the Jules Verne book, Around the World in 80 Days stars British actor Steve Coogan as the infamous inventor Phileas Fogg. His famous balloon is supposed to go around the wo…
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Elizabeth Taylor – The Signature Collection

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 17th, 2004

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Synopsis

National Velvet (1944) is one of the most beloved horse movies out there. A veryyoung Taylor wins a horse named Pie, and dreams not only of entering the horse in the GrandNational, but of riding him, too. Helping her achieve this dream is jockey Mickey Rooney. Alsoon hand is Angela Lansbury as Taylor’s older sister. This is innocent fun of the most perfectlycrafted variety, and it expertly tugs at heartstrings from the opening moments on.

Father of the Bride (…
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Renegade

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 6th, 2004

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Synopsis

As a young man, Mike Blueberry (Vincent Cassel) falls in love with a prostitute, but theirtryst is rudely interrupted by the black-hearted Michael Madsen. The woman is killed, andBlueberry is badly wounded. He is taken in and nursed back to health by Native Americans, andthus taps into a bunch of mystical hugger-mugger as well. Years later, he is the town marshal,and who should ride into town but Madsen again, now possessed of supernatural power andintent on capturing the s…
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Godzilla vs Gigan

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 4th, 2004

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Synopsis

An organization claiming to be working for children’s aid builds a Godzilla theme park,complete with bigger-than-life replica of the big guy, here serving as headquarters. In fact, thesenice people are alien invaders, as a cartoonist and his friends discover. When their plans arethreatened, the aliens summon King Ghidorah and Gigan (he of the beak and vaguely disturbingbuzz saw stomach) to their aid. But Godzilla and good friend Anguirus charge in to fight the eviland save …
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Dawn of the Dead

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

A plague is sweeping the world: the dead are rising to bite and eat the living, turning theirvictims into yet more ferocious zombies. A group of survivors (headed by Sarah Polley and VingRhames) take refuge in a mall. Tensions keep threatening to tear the group apart, not to mentionthe fact that they don’t know what their next course of action should be. Outside, the zombiesgather in ever increasing numbers.

This is the unrated version, running nine minutes longer t…
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Godzilla Vs Hedorah

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 27th, 2004

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Synopsis

Humanity’s pollution of the seas has given rise to Hedorah, a giant sludgy tadpole creature that feasts on industrial waste and grows bigger and more powerful all the time. Godzilla, protector of Earth and small children, is already angered by the pollution, but concentrates his energies on defeating Hedorah. The first battle goes well, but soon Hedorah is back, bigger and stronger than before.

Godzilla is in full-on superhero mode here, in a film better known in North America as < ...
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