Sword and Sandal films have been around since the early 1900’s and under the broad definition, Ben Hur was the first way back in 1907. However, under the more accepted narrow definition, this referred to Italian films that were based on loose plots around Greek mythology with giant muscle men and low budgets. The popular Sword and Sandal era was a period of roughly 10 years from 1957-1964 and started with the world-wide release of Hercules in 1957.. It kinda died out once the spaghetti westerns came around (giving Italian directors something else to do). Muscle Madness provides us with five films representative of the era including the likes of Steve Reeves, Alan Steel and Mark Forest. Let the cheesefest begin!

Giant of Marathon was made in 1959 under the Italian name: La battaglia di Maratona. The setting is 490 B.C. at the times of the Medic Wars. Philippides (played by Steve Reeves) has brought home to Athens the Olympic laurel crown and joins as commander of the Sacred Guard. Philippides is truly in love with Andromeda (played by Mylene Demongeot), daughter of Creuso who rejects him at first. However, there is a conspiracy afoot who try to influence Philippides with a seductive servant as well as brute force.

Halo 3 ODST, Project Natal & Facebook on Xbox Live? - Welcome to the column that would have gone to E3 if the show organizers didn’t do background checks for booth girl stalking known as Dare to Play the Game.

Many video game columnists are currently at E3 getting all giddy over the latest announcements and acting important like somebody is supposed to be impressed with their credentials by being at this event. The rest of us get to sit back and feed off their info and wonder what it really takes to get into one of these things besides a plane ticket and some secret “handshake”. Okay, there is no handshake but it sure does feel mysterious. I would like to think in my lifetime I would attend one of these, but I’m not holding my breath. Maybe next year.

Robert Calestino hasn’t had a lot of experience as either a writer or director, and it shows in Yonkers Joe. When he’s writing about the things he obviously knows and understands, the film is quite good and extremely engaging. Unfortunately, Calestino felt compelled to bring some heart into his picture in the person of Joe, Jr. While he thinks he’s adding a necessary emotional element to the story, he’s really delivering a distraction that makes the film somewhat less than it ought to be. This is a clear case of more being less. I’m not sure why Calestino the writer or the director felt the need to bog down his brilliantly crafted world of these con artists and attempt to make it about the emotional turmoil between father and son. It only serves to take us out of the movie with each predictable development. My advice for Calestino? Next time, stick with what you know.

Yonkers Joe (Palminteri) is a card and dice mechanic; that’s to say that he’s skilled in manipulating these items for the purposes of cheating. He can deal from almost anywhere in the deck or even switch the deck entirely with flawless precision. Even when you know it’s coming, you just can’t see it. He can do the same with dice. He can switch dice in a game with everyone watching, including a casino’s camera system. He has a dream of taking his skills to the big time. He wants to take down an Atlantic City, or even better, a Vegas casino with his dice skills. His personal life is intruding upon the dream. His son has Down’s Syndrome and has been living in a facility most of his life. Joe’s rarely seen his kid. Now the boy’s about to turn 21 and can no longer live in the juvenile facility. The staff has tried to convince Joe, Jr. (Guiry) that he would be better in a group home where he can get a job and function somewhat normally. Jr. loves where he’s at and is not very good with change. Joe decides to take him home for three weeks and try and convince him to move to the group home. Joe’s partner/lover, Janice (Lahti) develops a soft spot for the boy and thinks the three of them can become a somewhat normal family. Circumstances remind her that none of them can be considered normal. Meanwhile Joe is developing his plan to take down a Vegas casino. He can switch the dice just fine, but the casinos mark their bones with a special dye that shows up on the security cameras. That way they instantly know when a loaded pair show up in the game no matter how clean the switch. Predictably, Jr. becomes an important link in the plan, and eventually he discovers himself in the process.

William “D-Fens” Foster (Douglas) is caught in a typical L.A. traffic jam. The annoyances about him are beginning to mount up: a buzzing insect, tremendous heat, a child screaming. All of these things are becoming a perfect storm that is about to ignite a powder keg that’s been gathering here for some time. He abandons his car in the middle of the street and begins an apparently aimless walk across L.A. He first encounters a Korean convience store clerk, who he critizes for his accent and exorbitant prices. He thinks 85 cents is highway robbery. I guess he’s never been to a ball game. He picks up the clerk’s baseball bat and begins to “roll back prices”, smashing items he considers too high as he plays a twisted game of The Price Is Right with the clerk. After smashing up the store he gladly pays 50 cents for the Coke and walks out as if he’s just conducted a routine transaction. Next he meets up with a Latino gang, whose territory he unwittingly stumbled into. After an escalated fight with them he leaves a few dead, and now he has a gym bag filled with automatic weapons. Next stop is a burger joint that doesn’t subscribe to the “Have it your way” philosophy. Out come the guns, and his destructive trek across the city continues. Through phone calls we learn that Foster has a family. Or, more accurately, had a family. His wife has a restraining order against him to protect her and their young daughter who happens to be celebrating her birthday today. Now Foster has a destination in mind.

Enter Detective Prendergast (Duvall). It’s is last day on the job. He’s about to retire because his wife is a bit loony tunes. His colleagues think he’s a coward because he’s avoided dangerous jobs, and now he’s taking an early retirement. At one point he’s leaving his retirement party just when the stripper arrives eliciting a comment: “Are you afraid of girls, too?” He’d rather they all think that than learn the truth about his wife. His partner, Detective Sandra Torres (Ticotin) knows the truth and is the only one willing to work with him. He’s been following the seemingly unrelated reports of Foster’s antics. He’s pieced together the real story but no one takes him seriously, so he spends his last day tracking down Foster and attempting to stop him.

“A short time ago in a galaxy not so far, far away…

The year is 1998 and it is a period of galactic civil war. Scratch that. There is no civil war. That would be crazy! However, the past 15 years have been a dark time for Star Wars fans. But there is hope. A new Star Wars film is on the horizon. In 199 days, 34 hours, 33 minutes and 28 seconds the most anticipated movie of all time will be released. In the remote state of Ohio, two best friends and lifelong Star Wars fans have drifted apart. Little do they know that on Halloween Night, their paths will cross again.”

As I believe I may have mentioned before, I'm of an age that meant I was too young to actually attend any grindhouses in their 70s heyday, though I'm old enough to remember them. When I did come of age in the 80s, the VHS and Beta war was in full swing, video rental stores were sprouting like mushrooms, and the hunger for product on the shelves, any product, was insatiable. Those were the days when people actually rented VCRs, and Mom-and-Pop stores proudly offered the likes of Microwave Massacre, Screamers and The Beast Within for rental. This was the era of distributors like Key Video, Magnum, and many, many more, all with processed cheese computer graphic logos.

And this is where the joys begin on Astron-6: Year One. This is a DVD compilation of short works by a group of young Winnipeg filmmakers. Each piece opens with the Astron-6 logo, which, from its deliberate grain and scratches to its single-chord synth theme, is a dead-on recreation of those delightfully scuzzy formative years of home video. Beyond that logo lies a wealth of demented entertainment.

This 4th season release of The Closer would become my first exposure to the rather good series from TNT. I don’t have time for network television these days, so the cable shows often fall by the wayside in my schedule. Of course, I’ve made time for some of the better ones over the years, but The Closer never seemed to find its way onto my radar. It should have. Of all of the cop or detective shows I’ve seen over the years, I can relate to this one better than any of them.

You see, years ago, I was a detective. I wasn’t a cop and mostly did internal investigations for a large Florida retail chain. While I was a fair detective in most areas, I did eventually develop a specialty of sorts. When other detectives ran into a brick wall interviewing their subjects, they’d often call on me to get whatever information they were trying to extract. No, I didn’t beat it out of them. I was never a physically intimidating guy. I was just good at getting them to talk. I guess I was a little bit of a con artist who was working for the good guys instead of preying on hapless marks. I never lied to a subject and never threatened violence. It was a battle of wits, and I always won. That’s exactly how you would describe Brenda Johnson (Sedgwick) in The Closer. While the series was, in many ways, your standard procedural police drama, each episode would end with Brenda getting some reluctant perp to spill their guts. She relied on Southern charm. She looked and sounded harmless enough that she could get the person to lower their guard and fall for some rather simple trick or another. Case closed.

First Look Studios has graciously given us three copies of Direct Contact on DVD to give away.
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"Space...The Final Frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before!"

There sure has been a lot for Star Trek fans to cheer about of late. The new film has proven to be a commercial and critical success. The dawn of high definition has caught up with the original series, and there is the promise of much more before this year is out. Next up from Paramount we get the first 6 Trek theatrical films. This collection covers the original cast era. All of the films have been remastered in high definition, and The Wrath Of Khan has undergone a 4k restoration. Together the six films appear in two separate releases. You can buy all six as this review covers, or you can buy them in two sets of three. Whatever you decide, you are in for a treat. Almost all of the old bonus materials have been included along with new high definition material. It’s a lot of stuff, and that’s why the review has taken so long to get written.