“They’re not leaving till they get dessert.”
Director John Gulager might be the son of famed cult B movie star Clu Gulager, but that’s not how he broke into the business. He was a Project Greenlight winner. Project Greenlight is a competition for up and coming directors. They compete in a reality show style setting for the opportunity to direct a major release film. Now, I didn’t say it was a big budget film, but it does get backed and released by a major studio. When John Gulager won, his reward film was the original Feast. The film did well enough that now a couple of years later we’re on the third installment of what has become a somewhat cult hit franchise. Nothing has changed in this third film; in fact, it could be argued that the three films could be cut together into one long epic piece and it would work just as well.
We pick up exactly where Feast II ended. I mean exactly. There is no attempt to catch you up on what’s going on here. The film opens with a bloody street battle going on between the beasts and the survivors of the last film. They’re all back, and even some that didn’t quite survive the last movie. And yes, Dude’s still got a pipe sticking through his head. He has to mumble so much when he talks that we get subtitles whenever he does try to say anything.
Plot? Plot? You want to know about the plot? Here’s my first piece of advice. Don’t pick this film up unless you’ve see the first two films. You won’t have a clue as to what’s going on, and nothing in this movie is intended to help either. The movie takes the stand that only fans will watch this one. If you don’t understand, the heck with you. Go back and watch the first two. The only plot the film has is that you have a group of survivors from the first two films trying to get away from these hungry vicious creatures that have invaded this small isolated town. Folks that don’t get eaten get impregnated with more creatures. There is so much manic mayhem and bloodletting that once a few survivors settle into the sewers to try and escape the film gets downright boring in comparison, at least until we meet Puker Girl and Jean – Claude – Segal. Then the carnage goes back to full throttle.
Puker Girl:
Origin: Covered in monster vomit and thrown into the sewers.
Side Effects: Dementia, murderous, appetite for blood, and searing pain.
Motto: Blood makes it feel good.
Jean – Claude – Segal:
Fun Fact: Loves the iPod shuffle.
Fun Fact 2: Taking acting lessons.
Life Expectancy: Ribbed abs = ripped apart
The Feast series is strictly for fun. You never find out what these creatures are or where they came from. You do know what they want, to eat. The characters are all throwaway horror film stereotypes, and intended as so. They’re given names like Tat Girl, Lightning, Biker Queen, and Shit Kicker. Like the previous films, each new character comes with a description, often telling you their life expectancy. Some of the best are:
Greg Swank:
Classification: A medical miracle
Regrets: Killing a baby
Life Expectancy: Could go any minute
Lightning:
Origin: Born of passion…and tequila.
Secret: Fluent in Spanish
Life Expectancy: He was supposed to die in the last chapter
Slasher:
Favorite films: Unfaithful, The Burning Bed…
Life Expectancy: This one’s gonna make you cry.
Bar Tender:
Character Arc: WWII veteran now fighting his greatest battle, blah – blah – blah – blah…
Life Expectancy: Has died a few times already
Shit Kicker:
Strength: Addicted to love
Life Expectancy: Better than God.
It’s all played for thrills and laughs. It’s one of the more clever film franchises in a while, even if there really isn’t anything but damage going on. You either like this stuff or you don’t. I find it entertaining as hell. But don’t try and watch it until you’ve seen the first two films.
Video
Feast III is presented in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1. One of the problems I have with all three films is that the carnage often occurs in rather deep darkness and is edited too quickly. That means detail is not always there and honestly one of the last things on Gulager’s mind. Red is obviously all over the place, and the color is made to stand out on this presentation. Black levels are only average, and the film often displays a lot of grain and other video noise. The still, well lit moments present the best idea of what the transfer is capable of. Here colors can be bright and natural.
Audio
The Dolby Digital 5.1 track delivers what you’re looking for here. Sounds converge around you throughout the film to keep you on edge, which is the best way to describe the overall atmosphere of the film. Dialog is always clear, except where it’s not intended to be. Don’t forget the guy with the pipe stuck through his head. The creatures have a very visceral sound to them that only enhances the edgy nature of the film.
Special Features
A Look Back At John Gulager: From the title of this 8 minute feature I wasn’t sure if maybe Gulager died or something. He’s alive and well and basically spends the time talking about getting his start with Project Greenlight. The first couple of minutes are used to talk about his car that was booted, towed, and sold at auction for $800. It’s all pretty self-indulgent and has little to do with the third Feast film specifically.
Final Thoughts:
Can you really make a glow stick out of pop, baking soda, and peroxide? I tried. It didn’t work. I know that’s going above and beyond, but we try to be a full service disc review outfit here at Upcomingdiscs. I tried various combinations and even went online to try and get the proper “formula”. All I found was a Mountain Dew glow stick video that has since been exposed as a fake. How many other reviewers will conduct chemistry experiments at 2:00 A.M. just to keep you completely informed? I’m sure it was appreciated by all, sleeping wives excepted. Feast III is merely more of the same, so use your past experience to decide. If you haven’t seen any of them, get the first and proceed with caution. These films are definitely out there on the edge, but, “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space”.
