Horror

Alligator People, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 28th, 2004

Synopsis

Beverly Garland (who was, with Allison Hayes, one of the queens of 50s SF) is on ahoneymoon train ride with her new husband Richard Crane. A telegram makes Crane blanch,and he hops off the train at the next stop, disappearing form Garland’s life. She searches for him,finally tracing his last address to The Cypresses, a plantation deep in the Louisiana swamp. Itturns out that Crane is slowly turning into an alligator due to the well-intentioned experimentsof scientist George…
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Bug

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 28th, 2004

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Synopsis

An earthquake opens up a crevasse in outside a desert town in California. Emerging fromthe earth is a species of large cockroach that cause fires. Entomologist Bradford Dilman is at firstfascinated by the bugs, but when his wife is burned to death, he becomes obsessed with…well, something (exactly what his motivations are at this turning point in the plot are hard tofathom, and are the film’s major weakness). The firebugs are dying, and Dilman breeds themwith the common c…
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Orca

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 27th, 2004

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Synopsis

Fisherman Richard Harris ignores the warnings of whale expert Charlotte Rampling andattempts to capture a killer whale, the idea being to make a mint by selling it to an aquarium.Everything goes horribly wrong, and he accidentally kills a pregnant female (the scene is prettydamn gruesome). The whale’s mate mounts a vendetta against Harris. It attacks boats and causeshuge fires, turning the town against him, and then lures him out for a final confrontation.

The Ja…
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King Kong Lives

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

Turns out Kong didn’t die at the foot of the World Trade Center. He’s been kept alive(though in a coma) in a University lab for the last ten years. Linda Hamilton has designed a hugeartificial heart for him, but he needs a massive blood transfusion. By lucky coincidence,adventurer Brian Kerwin is wandering around a set that is supposed to be Borneo, and hestumbles upon a female Kong. A half-dozen tribesmen with blowdarts promptly sedate her (asimple solution to monster trou…
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Lost Boys, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 18th, 2004

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Synopsis

Recently divorced Diane Wiest moves with her two sons Jason Patric and Corey Haim tothe California community of Santa Carla, where teenage vampires (headed by Kiefer Sutherland)cruise the boardwalk. Patric is initiated into the gang, but resists his vampiric urges, and Haimcalls in gonzo teen vampire hunters Corey Feldman and Jamsion Newlander to fight thebloodsuckers.

During the 1980s, some tributaries of the horror genre flowed into some very stagnant, fetidswam…
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Candyman

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 18th, 2004

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Synopsis

Virginia Madsen and Kasi Lemmons are working on a thesis on urban legends. They haveheard several version of the Candyman story, and they trace it back to its origins at the horrificChicago housing project Cabrini Green. Madsen destroys the legend by exposing the truth, whichforces the legend to become real. Candyman (Tony Todd) frames Madsen for his own crimes,and threatens worse unless she voluntarily surrenders to be his victim.

Writer/director Bernard Rose (whos…
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Love Object

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 31st, 2004

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Synopsis

Desmond Harrington plays Kenneth, a terminally shy, socially inept technical writer. Lonelybeyond words and attracted to temp Lisa (Melissa Sagemiller) but unable even to speak to her, heorders a $10,000.00 love doll. After some initial awkwardness, he develops a full-fledgedrelationship with doll Nikki, one that gives him more confidence at work and with Lisa. But evenas he begins a real-life relationship, things begin to fall apart, as he senses that the doll isbecoming j…
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Godsend

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

When Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos are emotionally devastated by the loss oftheir eight-year-old son Adam, scientist Robert De Niro approaches them with an alarmingproposition: he offers to clone Adam, so that they might have him again. While Kinnear isdoubtful, he eventually capitulates, and the operation is performed. Things go very well for thefirst eight years of the new Adam’s life. Then he begins to change, as if being taken over by ademonic presence.

Living Hell

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 25th, 2004

Synopsis

One year after the brutal murder of a family, an old woman and her silent granddaughtercome to live with some relatives. We know from the opening that these are the killers, and thatbad times lie ahead. This is especially true for the wheelchair bound Yasu. His father is gone forthe week, his siblings are likewise mostly absent, and they ignore his warnings that the newarrivals are weird. As soon as the house is empty of any who might interfere, the torture sessionsbegin. M…
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Gacy

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

John Wayne Gacy (Mark Holton) is a typical, if rather slobbish, middle-class family man. Heis the local organizer for the Democrats. He also has a bad stench emanating from the crawlspace beneath his house, and the neighbours keep complaining. Gacy has his work cut out forhim dealing with the stench, since it is caused by the rotting bodies of the young men he hasmurdered.

The lurid qualities of Gacy’s crimes mean that this film could have been an unwatchableexercise in b…
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Inhabited

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

Megan Gallagher and family move into a new house, and very soon things start to go wrong.It seems that there is a race of little creatures, the “Huldre,” living under the earth, and they playincreasingly nasty pranks. Their central target is Gallagher’s young daughter, who at first isdelighted to befriend the creatures. Malcolm McDowell, slumming for another paycheck, plays apsychiatrist who sees the child’s case as his ticket to glory.

The plotting is sloppy, the character…
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Nine Lives

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 3rd, 2004

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What we have here is a messy British independent film that takes most of its cues from the Agatha Christy 10 Little Indians formula. The film fails to provide enough setup or character development to ensure we give a crap about any of these people or what happens to them. As the dull actors and their equally dull counterparts disappear, I found myself looking forward to losing another one. Most of these chaps are complete unknowns. Only Paris Hilton’s name rang any bells. The producers were quite aware of this dilemm…
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S.I.C.K.

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Ken Hebert (lead actor and film’s producer) invites three friends out to his cabin in thewoods. Oddly, these friends are either people he hasn’t seen in years, or barely knows. Along theway, they pick up another young woman who’s been having some hitch-hiking problems. Thatnight, the stranger tells a gruesome story about a killer clown. And wouldn’t you know it? Oneby one, the cast starts being killed by that very figure.

It’s amateur hour, folks. Looks like a bunch…
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Dark Harvest

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1932, in Carson County, West Virginia (or, as the name appears on the screen, “WestVirGINA”), a farmer kills his wife and hangs her up as a scarecrow. Cut to the present, and adistant descendant inherits the cursed property. He and the usual gaggle of teenaged friends headout for the farm, after some wandering around and skinning dipping, are set upon by a demonicscarecrow with glowing eyes.

The film follows the stereotypical slasher plot in perfect lock-step, wi…
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Serial Killing 101

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 27th, 2004

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Synopsis

Justin Urich is a disaffected high school student. He is unable to stomach dissection inbiology class (despite his love of horror movies), and he is perpetually tormented by the martinetgym instructor (Thomas Haden Church). When, in a counselling course, he declares that hewants to be a serial killer, he attracts the attention of goth chick Lisa Loeb. She will help himlearn what he needs to know to become a serial killer, on the condition that she be his firstvictim. Urich’…
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Creeping Flesh, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 25th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1893, scientist Peter Cushing returns home with a remarkable find: a giant skeleton, whichturns out to belong to a being that was the very incarnation of evil. Where water touches thebones, flesh regenerates, and Cushing isolates the blood cells that contain evil. Obsessed withprotecting his daughter from the insanity that destroyed his wife, he attempts to inoculate her.His experiment goes horribly wrong, and also attracts the attention of half-brother and scientificriv…
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Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 18th, 2004

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Synopsis

Brigitte (Emily Perkins), having dispatched her werewolf sister in Ginger Snaps, isnow living with the fact that the wolfsbane antidote concocted in the previous film is not a curefor lycanthropy. It can merely hold the transformation painfully at bay. Mistaken for an addictto more traditional drugs, Brigitte is picked up and placed in combination drug rehab centre andburn ward (don’t ask). She needs to escape, as she is being stalked by a werewolf who seeks amate. B…
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Bubba Ho-Tep

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 14th, 2004

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Synopsis

Welcome to Mud Creek, Texas. In a depressing nursing home, senior citizen Elvis (BruceCampbell) is sleeping away what remains of his life. Some led gets put back into his pencil,however, when he and “JFK” (Ossie Davis, who else?) realize that an ancient mummy is killingoff the residents of the home. Barely able to walk, they nonetheless decide to fight thesupernatural evil.

As you might guess from the above description, and especially from the casting, this is prett…
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Hammer Horror Collection

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 7th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1957, the British studio Hammer, having already produced a number of classic SFthrillers, turned to gothic horror, which had been effectively dead since 1946, and brought it backwith a vengeance. Their revolutionary entry was The Curse of Frankenstein (****1/2),which introduced colour, gore and sex to the classic horror formula, and made Peter Cushing (asFrankenstein) and Christopher Lee (as the Creature) into stars. Unlike the Universal Frankensteinfilms of the 3…
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Monster Legacy Collection

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 3rd, 2004

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The Monsters of Universal Studios during the 1930’s to the 1950’s truly are a legacy. This collection, while including many films already released, is an important set. Bela Lugosi’s Dracula, Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein Monster, and Lon Chaney’s tortured Larry Talbot/The Wolfman have inspired generations of filmmakers, writers, and f/x engineers. The influence on our culture is impossible to deny. When asked about Frankenstein, most of us conjure the classic Karloff image long before we think of Mary Shelley or any …
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Gnaw: Food of the Gods Part 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

A young boy is growing huge and foul-mouthed due to a growth hormone injection gonewrong. The scientist who injected him (Jackie Burroughs) gets in touch with fellow researcherPaul Coufos, reasoning somehow that he might be able to come up with an antidote. Before hisresearch at the university is complete, however, animal rights activists break into his lab andrelease injected rats. Soon rats the size of wolves are prowling about the campus tunnels,munching on all and sundr…
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Monster Club, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 19th, 2004

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Synopsis

John Carradine, playing real-life author R. Chetwynd-Hayes (on whose book the movie isvery loosely based), is ambushed by vampire Vincent Price. Price drains only a bit of his blood,and upon realizing that he has met his favourite author, invites Carradine for drinks at theMonster Club. Here Price spins a trio of tales: a young woman ill-advisedly plans to steal froma lonely “shadmock” (a creature with a fatal whistle); a family-man vampire is stalked byunpleasantly bureauc…
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Snake Island

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 13th, 2004

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Synopsis

Due to the clumsy snake-repelling tactics of novelist William Katt, the passengers of anAfrican river boat find themselves stuck on Snake Island. They don’t realize they’re in trouble, atfirst, taking time out to party and dance, but soon their numbers stuck being cut down. It seemsthat the snakes on this island have become very smart and are single-minded in their goal ofcleansing the island of humans

The extended party sequence, complete with mandatory (if nonsensical) nu…
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Wishcraft

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 3rd, 2004

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I am often fooled into watching a bad film because the box looked good. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the video store and uttered the phrase “this looks good”, only to get home and be reminded that looks can be deceiving. Rare have been the times when I found a good film packaged in a bad box. It happens, but not that often. Lucky for me, this is one of those times.

Now, there’s really nothing special about this movie, mind you. The film is just a rehash of the plethora of teen slasher flic…
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Campfire Stories

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 1st, 2004

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Oh, where to begin? I guess I should start with the directors. That’s right, DIRECTORS. Plural. There are three of them. Apparently, the first two didn’t suck enough, so they had to bring in a third to fill out the talentless triumvirate. Any film directed by three people who are not related should make moviegoers instantly suspicious.

You know what else makes me suspicious? Any movie that stars both Meadow Soprano and Buster Poindexter. My suspicions grew when I realized that they were only in a small port…
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