"They usually call death row the Last Mile, but we called ours the Green Mile, because the floor was the color of faded limes. We had the electric chair then. Old Sparky, we called it. I've lived a lot of years, Ellie, but 1935 takes the prize. That was the year I had the worst urinary infection of my life. That was also the year of John Coffey and the two dead girls." 

For me that place would be the movies. From the time I was a little kid, movies have always had an incredible fascination with me, and it's where some of my fondest memories come from. It's what has led me here, writing about the things I see, and it's never lost its charm even when it became a job. Films like The Green Mile are a huge reason why that is so.

Despite my tender age, I didn’t see Escape from New York until I was in my early twenties. My parents never talked about it, my college friends didn’t seem to care, and the Internet wasn’t nearly as prevalent as it is now. But it has become my favorite movie of all time. What’s curious is that the sequel to the film, Escape from L.A., is what introduced me to Kurt Russell and the character of Snake Plissken (and became the foundation of everything I consider to be “cool”).  It holds a giant chunk of my movie heart, and I’m glad today to bring you this review of the UHD Blu-ray from Paramount. It is 1998, and hostile forces inside the United States are growing strong.  Los Angeles is ravaged by crime, and the US Police Force is formed to keep the peace. A political candidate (played by Cliff Robertson) emerges and predicts a millennium earthquake that will destroy Los Angeles in divine retribution. An earthquake measuring 9.6 on the Richter scale hits at 12:59pm on August 23rd in the year 2000.

“Over a million athletes play high school football every year in America. Each with a dream of their own. Only about five percent of them make it to college ball. And only one percent of those get drafted to the NFL. Most don’t stay in the league for more than three years. Most are not quarterbacks. Only a select few will ever play in the Super Bowl, and each year, there is only one MVP of that game. So, by all accounts my dream, my story is impossible. That’s just the kind of story this is…”

That is quite possibly the best opening monologue that I seen in a long while, and the fact that the man that this film is based on was the one to deliver it just made it all the sweeter. Kurt Warner. If you are a football fan, that is a name that you undoubtedly heard. Even if you only have a passing knowledge of football, enough that you speak it articulately with some, chances are you’ve heard of Kurt Warner.

Kino Lorber has put together a fun double feature pairing the films FX and FX 2 for their Studio Classics line. These films are a bit of a relic of the past considering how much Hollywood has strayed away from the days of using practical effects to the more modern approach of CGI. Sure, when using CGI you can create just about anything the brain can imagine with the aid of a computer, but there is something about latex, props, and actual sets that have always made movies come alive and feel more grounded in reality. These effects wizards are capable of pulling off almost as much as anything a computer can, but it’s the supplies and setup on set that has made CGI a more acceptable approach in the industry. Over the years special effects and makeup artists in the industry have been contacted by the government to enlist their help in special operations.

You just have to watch a few minutes of this film to get what the filmmakers were going for, and if you’re a fan of 80’s sword and sorcery films, i.e. Conan The Barbarian, Red Sonja, this will certainly whet your visual appetite. But then if you also happened to be a fan of the animated films Heavy Metal, Ralph Bakshi’s The Lord of the Rings, and Fire & Ice, then The Spine of Night is going to be cinematic catnip that will satisfy your geeky cravings. But if none of the films I mentioned above excite you, well, you might want to shuffle along, because this film just isn’t for you. Honestly, I was even on the fence with this film, but then I had to think of the teenage version of myself, and, well, back then in the glory days of VHS, if I had this title to watch, I would have been stoked to come across it. So just what is The Spine of Night?  Well, it’s a love letter to a genre that simply doesn’t exist in the mainstream anymore, but it obviously still has its fans, and who knows, maybe a cult following with this film can help revive the genre.

If you ever wondered just why Marilyn Monroe is the icon that she is today, all you have to do is watch Some Like It Hot, and you’ll see how she captured the attention of audiences from 1959 and well beyond to this day.  She was already a star by the time she made the Billy Wilder classic after being in films like Gentleman Prefer Blondes and The Seven Year Itch, but it’s her role as Sugar that really showcases all of her talent, though unfortunately it was the film where her troubles off screen were taking a toll on her physically and emotionally. This would also be the film that would launch Jack Lemmon’s career and be the first of many collaborations with the acclaimed writer and director Billy Wilder. Some Like It Hot isn’t simply a classic film, it is literally a piece of film history that made a profound impact on the motion picture industry, and the American Film Institute proclaimed it to be the greatest comedy of all time.

"And I thought we were pals."

Bert I. Gordon and I shared a friend. He was one of Forry Ackerman's favorite people, and when I would see Forry, he never failed to mention Gordon. Bert I. Gordon was once the king of schlock. He was as much a marketing genius as he was a filmmaker. Like William Castle, he knew how to find something zany and odd which was just different enough to bring in the audiences. I saw most of his films of the 60's and 70's at drive-ins where most of his films were shown in those days along with many of the Hammer and AIP Poe films from Roger Corman. If you look at the B films in the science-fiction/horror genres from that time, you will find them dominated by Gordon, Corman, and Castle. Gordon often used stories in public domain so that he didn't have to pay a writer and he would adapt them with some clever "hip" idea and out would come a cheapie, but something that was always a hoot to watch.

For me the promo art for Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is without a doubt one of the most memorable VHS covers I can remember from my childhood. The hero dangling  by one hand from the tip of the Statue of Liberty has always stuck with me. As a kid, when finally getting to see this over-the-top action sequence, it left an impression on me to the point that when I made my first trip out to Liberty Island as a kid, all I could do was stare in wonder at how they could have pulled off such a crazy scene. As I’ve gotten older, my impression of the film has changed, but this sequence is still up there when it comes to favorite action sequences of all time. Now Kino Lorber has put out a remastered copy of a film that has fallen through the cracks, though I know it does have a cult following. What are my thoughts on this action spectacle, and is it worth revisiting?

The Naughty Dog series Uncharted has been a bit of an obsession in my home since I played the first game. I always viewed the series as the Indiana Jones video game fans always wanted but just never got. There’s a reason for the game’s popularity. Each game comes with a great story, fun action game play, and memorable set pieces. It’s no surprise that it would eventually become a blockbuster movie, but what has surprised me is how long it has taken to bring the character of Nathan Drake to the big screen. Sure, you can argue we’ve gotten a new Tomb Raider film, and some could argue Uncharted is simply an Indiana Jones knockoff. But then I’d have to ask those people, have they actually played the game? Even with another Indiana Jones film in post production, and as much as I love that franchise, that fourth film simply left a bad taste in my mouth, and I’m slightly concerned about what could happen with a fifth film not helmed by Spielberg.  It’s these thoughts that have me  gotten me so excited about the prospect of an Uncharted film, a passing of the torch for a new adventure franchise that’s filled with treasure hunting, exotic locations, and plenty of action. After a decade of development, does the film live up to my expectations, or does it disappoint like so many other video game adaptations that have been released over the years?

Wondering what happen to Stephen Amell and Alexander Ludwig after wrapping up their separately widely popular television series? I mean, what is there to do after playing a superhero and a king? Apparently, the answer is to star in a series about a local independent wrestling league, as the two bring us Heels. Amell and Ludwig play brothers, Jack and Ace Spade, sons of a local legendary wrestler (played by David James Elliot), carrying on their family business, the Duffy Wrestling League (DWL), of playing out scripted wrestling matches in a small town in Georgia. Amell plays the heel, or villain, while Ludwig acts as the face, or hero of the promotion. Despite their bond, the brothers find themselves at odds over the direction of the wrestling promotion, as they vie for national attention. Outside their ring, their lives are just as messy, as their personal relationships also face scrutiny by their very public personas. Rounding out the cast are Alison Luff as Jack’s wife, Staci, Mary McCormack as Willie Day, Jack’s business partner, Allen Maldonado as Rooster, a star performer for the DWL, and Chris Bauer, a former member of the DWL who went on to find national success.