Posts by Brent Lorentson

When a movie claims to be based on a true story, I tend to take this with a grain of salt.  In some form or another, any movie can have some basis in reality; the writer simply puts their own spin on it.  With a movie like The Cottage, I’m not too sure what part is supposed to be the true story.  Is it the creepy tenant that kills anyone who gets in his way?  Or perhaps it is the fact that the creepy killer stalks families to try and have a relationship with their young daughter?  Whatever the truth is, The Cottage pretty much is a story we’ve all heard before, the cautionary tale of the roommate or tenant from hell.  But thankfully in the end The Cottage gives a fresh spin on how we perceive the actions of a villain.

The Carpenter family is in desperate need to fill the vacancy of their cottage as the bills are piling up since Chloe (Kristen Dalton) gave birth to their third child.  In response to an ad they had posted, Robert (David Arquette), a romance novelist (with a very loyal fan base), comes along and seems like the perfect candidate to be the new tenant at their home. But of course things are simply too good to be true, and it’s not long before the Carpenter family begins to notice things may not be what they seem with their tenant.

When you’re the son of an iconic director, it can’t be helped that viewers will tend to expect a little more out of you.  Case in point with Sean Stone (son of Oliver Stone); expectations were in place, especially since dad actually plays a role in the film.  With Greystone Park , it would be safe to assume Stone was looking to remove himself far from his father’s shadow and show he has a vision all his own.  The problem is we get a film that is a bit hit-or-miss throughout.

In 2009 three filmmakers decide to go check out an old abandoned psychiatric hospital and do some filming.  The decision to check this place out is during conversation at a dinner party and the topic of ghosts and the paranormal is brought up.  Stories are passed around, but the key topic everyone seemed to be interested in revolved around Greystone.

The collection of episodes found here are supposed to be the rare and unedited recordings from the public access show Dr. Steve Brule once filmed.  Of course the show is actually a fake one, but for those who have channel-surfed late at night I’m sure at some point the channel has stopped on a public access program.  It was supposed to be a forum where anyone could go in and after some training on equipment be able to film their own program.  Some would have the standard one show where the host would take random phone calls while discussing a variety of topics.  In the case of Dr. Steve Brule (John C. Reilly) he tried to produce his own ‘on the town’ news program.

This DVD release consists of the first two seasons that were six episodes each.  Each episode runs about 11 minutes each, which is just long enough for the show to not wear out its welcome.  Just upon first glance this show isn’t for everyone.  With the bad video editing, often times the show is cut over separate shows and segments.  Then there is the bad public domain music, bad camera work, and Dr. Steve Brule, who just might be the worst host to ever hit the television screen.  But it’s all this put together in such a fashion that it starts to grow on you, and it’s just so outrageous and absurd I found myself laughing harder with each following episode.

Before Hollywood became obsessed with filming unnecessary remakes, throughout the 80’s and 90’s Hollywood was inspired to fill the multiplexes and video stores with as many horror sequels they could manage to churn out.  Sure, I have a deep seeded obsession with Friday the 13th and the Nightmare on Elm Street franchises, but there are other franchises out there that were blessed with a slew of sequels when the originals, though they hold a soft spot in my horror-drenched heart, just didn’t need to continue the story; it was good as it was and should have been left that way.  And that’s how I feel especially about Basket Case.

Basket Case goes back to my years of hanging out at the mom-and-pop video store around the corner from where I lived.  The horror section was simply my playground.  I still have the old VHS to the original Basket Case stuffed away in a box somewhere.  It was just one of those insane over-the-top gore fests that are just so fun to watch with whoever I could convince to stay up and watch a bunch of horror films till we passed out in the living room.

This is a film that’s been floating around for some time but under the title The Forgotten Ones.  A simple title change isn’t going to help this film.  The worst part of this train wreck is that it had every chance to be a really good film.  I wish the blame could only go to one person, but there are issues with the illogical script, the direction, the camera work, the editing, and even the sound.  The only things that helped make this film even bearable to watch was the cast (who didn’t have much to work with) and the makeup effects for the creatures was impressive (considering the budget). When we first meet the group of friends, everyone is meeting up at the marina, ready to set sail for a three day tour out in the open water.  Liz (Jewel Staite, Firefly) is helplessly in love with Peter (Justin Baldoni) despite the fact he’s lied and cheated on her in the past.  He seems to have changed his ways and committed to Liz, but still she can never be too sure. Also along for the three-day voyage is Ira, an overweight buffoon who somehow is wealthy enough to score Lauren, the stereotypical gold-digger.  Thankfully, to balance out this awkward double date there is another deckhand along for the cruise, Jake, who just so happened to date Lauren at one point in time.  Yeah, the movie at first plays out like a bad episode of (insert random tween-friendly show on the CW), but don’t worry, it manages to shift gears and get worse.

After the boat crashes into some rocks, everyone on board ends up washing up onto shore.  With their radio they call in for a rescue, but with the coordinates they give from the GPS there is no land anywhere near where they claim to be.  Things get stranger for the group as Liz begins to see things in the surrounding jungle.  It would appear the survivors washed up onto the shore that is something of a mix from Dr. Monroe and Lost, only not nearly as interesting.

Ever since I first saw John Carpenter’s The Thing, I’ve had a soft spot for movies that take place in cold, snowy climates.  I’m guessing it’s because living in Tampa, there is little to no chance of seeing the white stuff.   Frozen was the last chiller-thriller that had me grimacing at the sight of what frostbite can do. So when I saw the title Hypothermia I figured it was time to crank up the A/C and warm up some Swiss Miss, because I was ready to check this movie out.The Pelletier family is heading out for a weekend of ice fishing; this has been a yearly tradition for as long as the family can remember.  But with David (Benjamin Forster) about to finish school, he and his girlfriend Gina (Amy Chang) have plans to volunteer in Africa, which means this could be the last ice fishing trip they’ll have together, as a family. Ray (Michael Rooker), David’s father, couldn’t be any more proud of his son, so they decide to make this family trip the best it can possibly be.

It’s at this point they begin to realize something isn’t right with the lake and the fish are not biting.  To put another kink in the family’s relaxing trip, Steve and Stevie Jr. decide to come out and do some fishing themselves, while annoying the Pelletier family with their loud music and roaring engines from their snowmobiles.  All this noise ends up attracting the attention of a large creature that is lurking beneath the ice.

Standup Comedian is the second hour-long comedy special Martin has released.  I’ve watched numerous comedy specials over the years. I’ve seen many I’ve loved, cheered, and even loathed.  When I first saw Martin go through his routine in a previous special, I simply shrugged it off and forgot about it a few minutes later.  I figured he would be one of the many comedians that would fizzle away into obscurity.  But then I found out this guy has a strong following, and I couldn’t understand it, wondering when did drawing pictures become comedy?

When the time came and I was handed this special, I was a little hesitant, but I’m always willing to give a comedian another shot (with the exception of Katt Williams).  So after watching it, what did I think?  An enthusiastic shoulder shrug.  It started off strong, but then it just became one-liner after one-liner.  The kind of jokes that if your friend told you the line it would be amusing, but when a professional says it you just expect a little more.  And that’s the problem, the entire time I just kept expecting more, and his audience should feel about the same.  I appreciate dry humor, but this just didn’t work for me.

Best known for his appearances on the Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts, Jeff Ross sets off on a cross-country quest to roast America in his new comedy special.  Aside from his appearances on the roasts, I was not familiar with Ross or his stand-up act.  Some may best describe him as rude, perhaps even offensive, but personally, I think the guy is hilarious. To kick off his tour we get to see Ross backstage with his family, and it just so happens that it is his nephew’s birthday, which makes him the first victim of the numerous speed roasts that are to follow.  Considering how little he held back with his own family, it came as no surprise to hear some of the many offensive jokes that were to follow.

What made this special stand out the most from the standard stand-up releases is that we actually are given glimpses of what life is like on the road.  It’s too bad we didn’t get more of this; he’s actually a personality I could see people finding engaging to watch.  At a stop in Washington DC we get to see Ross give an impromptu speed roast on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  Some may find it in poor taste, but he still had a few zingers for the former president that got a few chuckles out of me.