Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 15th, 2010
Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is a young woman utterly lacking in self-confidence and given to deliberately cutting herself. She gets her first job as secretary to E. Edward Grey (James Spader), as tightly wound and ferociously self-isolated an individual as you could imagine. What happens when the sadist meets the masochist? Sparks fly
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 13th, 2010
Good Eeeeevening, Mistress Noms here with a spooky review to add to the “31 Nights of Terror” countdown we have going here in the dungeon of Upcomingdiscs.com! -digs into her bag of tricks (provided by the head dungeon master of Upcomingdiscs.com)- What do we have here, what do we have here… A Blu-ray copy of The Blair Witch Project!? This is the scariest thing you could come up with? Oyie! Perhaps it is true what they say… Terror can come in many forms… including a really terrible movie! Grab your choice of poison and hop into my hearse (Sure… I have some… candy… around here somewhere…) we are going for a ride! -drives off in a fit of madness, cackling out her window-
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Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 10th, 2010
So Troll 2 hits Blu-ray. That fact is as sure a sign of the coming Apocalypse as any I can think of, and, at the very least, must threaten the entire Blu-ray format with destruction, as judgment rains down from the hands of an angry God. If, Gentle Reader, you come to this review without any foreknowledge of the film, and are actually wondering if a movie called Troll 2 might be good, then please run as fast as you can and hide. Or at the very least, please watch the legendary YouTube clip appended below. What, you’re still here? Don’t say you weren’t warned.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 8th, 2010
Open Water:
An over-worked couple (Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis) whose marriage, while not in danger, has clearly reached some difficult shoals, head off on a diving vacation. A mix-up (which is disturbingly credible) results in the tour ship leaving them behind. Stuck in the middle of the ocean, they float together, hoping against hope for rescue, growing cold and hungry. And then there is the marine life. Like stinging jellyfish. And sharks…
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 7th, 2010
“You are what they eat.”
In 1964 Herschell Gordon Lewis brought us the classic gore-fest Two Thousand Maniacs. It was pretty much like all of his films. It was generous on the naked babes and the blood. Lewis was one of the pioneers of the slasher film and was producing low-budget gore films long before they were popular in the mainstream. The man continues to be a legend in the genre.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 5th, 2010
Bruno Hamel (Claude Legault), a surgeon, and his wife Sylvie (Fanny Mallette) enjoy an afternoon tryst while their young daughter Jasmine (Rose-Marie Coallier) heads off to school. Tragedy strikes, though, when Jasmine is assaulted and killed by pedophile Anthony Lemaire (Martin Dubreuil). Bruno and Sylvie are devastated, and each deals with the tragedy an unhealthy way, with Sylvie withdrawing from the world and her husband, and Bruno plotting vengeance. Lemaire is caught, but doesn’t remain in police custody long, since Bruno kidnaps him and carries him off to a secluded cottage in the forest. His plan: torture Lemaire for the seven days leading up to what would have been Jasmine’s birthday, and then kill him. The police investigation becomes at least as much about saving Bruno’s soul as it is about saving Lemaire’s life.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 17th, 2010
Written by Diane Tillis
Only once in a blue moon will a filmmaker come along to change the way films are created…for an entire country! Kazakhstan – born director Timur Bekmambetov is best known in America as the director for Wanted (2008) and for producing 9 (2009) alongside Tim Burton, but in Russia he is known as the man who changed the film industry after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on September 17th, 2010
We begin in Vietnam, where the unit of which Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) is a member comes under attack. Jacob is bayonetted, and as he struggles with his wounds, the film flashes forward to his post-Vietnam life in New York City. He works for the post office, is divorced, is still grieving over the death of his youngest son (Macauley Culkin), and is living with his new girlfriend (Elizabeth Pena). He is also being tormented by visions of demonic figures. And then suddenly this life turns out to be a dream, and he’s at home with his wife and all of his kids are alive. Or is that a dream? And what really happened in Vietnam?
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 13th, 2010
“On April 21st,1967 the 100-millionth GM vehicle rolled off the plant in Janesville. A blue two-door Caprice. There was a big ceremony, speeches, the Lt. Governor even showed up. Three days later, another car rolled off that same line. No one gave two craps about her, but they should have. Because, that 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turn out to be the most important car in pretty much the whole universe…I guess that’s where the story began. And here’s where it ends.”
Except it doesn’t; not really.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 8th, 2010
You say you want an old-school slasher film like they did it back in the 70’s and 80’s? How would it sound if we gathered up Freddy, Candyman, and Jason and put them all in the same movie? Would that get your attention? Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about Hatchet, a little quality slasher just like your uncles Craven, Cunningham, and Carpenter used to make. Okay, I exaggerated about that Freddy, Candyman, and Jason bit. You won’t really find any of them in Hatchet. You will find their alter-egos Robert Englund and Tony Todd in amusing cameos, while Jason’s best man plays Victor Cowley, the main attraction in this sweet throwback to classic slasher films.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 8th, 2010
“We went AWOL around the time the rest of the world did. We became stick-up guys, stopping people on the road, taking whatever they had. We held up this bunch of kids in a Winnebago shooting a documentary about themselves. Went out on the internet. Millions of hits. I became notorious. Could have gotten an agent. Made a fortune if there was anybody left to care. It had become an us-versus-them world. All we were looking for was a place were there was no them.”
Think of zombies and you think of George Romero. It’s impossible not to think or talk about one without the other
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 31st, 2010
Vampires are hot right now, at least that’s what everyone keeps telling me. The truth is that everyone is absolutely wrong. Vampires are not hot right now. They’ve always been hot. Since at least since 1897 when Bram Stoker took the world by storm in one of the earliest examples of a horror novel. Of course, I’m talking about Dracula. Dracula, as a character, might have been based on the historical figure of Vlad the Impaler, but the vampire legend that Stoker perfected in Dracula is pure fiction. Still, it wasn’t quite Stoker’s novel that created the vampire craze, it merely lit the fuse.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 19th, 2010
“Tyger Tyger burning bright…”
The 1794 poem by English wordsmith William Blake provides the title and much of the inspiration in this modern thriller/man vs. nature film by director Carlos Brooks. It’s only the director’s second feature film. There is very little experience among the many writers of the story and screenplay. Excuse my jaded reviewer skepticism, but this was not a film I was particularly looking forward to seeing. I expected this to be on par with the beast-of-the week scenario that those made for television SyFy films have been putting out for years.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on August 16th, 2010
Reviewing schlock in my tenure here at Upcomingdiscs has reached a level of passion. When I was a much younger pup here, I abhorred the concept. Eventually, as I was fed some of the worst movies on record (and most of them weren’t even romantic comedies), I started to actually enjoy some of these and look forward to writing reviews. Then I got a most gracious gift in my review pile, my first Roger Corman flic. Like a new father, I gave out cigars, asked the doctor for the extra stitch, unwrapped Galaxy of Terror and went straight to work.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on August 10th, 2010
After watching plenty of terrible horror movies in my life, I start to wonder if this is easiest thing in Hollywood to produce. Work with a small budget, come up with a scare and hire some shapely actors to play the ones in peril. Oh, and make sure you have plenty of fake blood. Our example today is Open House, a recent horror movie directed by Andrew Paquin.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 9th, 2010
“There is a place, a mystical nexus, where this unholy relic can be destroyed. I only hope we can get there before Vellich.”
When you think of Edward Douglas, you really do not think about him as a film director or writer. He’s made a name for himself mostly in the music business. No, you aren’t going to see his videos on MTV, and it’s not likely that you’ll find his name on the charts. He’s become somewhat the poster child for specialized Halloween music. So, I guess it isn’t that large a leap to find him writing and helming his first film, obviously a horror film.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 9th, 2010
I recently reviewed Parasomnia on DVD. I was a bit disappointed that we hadn’t been given a chance to see the full in high definition. The director, William Malone, arranged for us to get the film on Blu-ray, and I am thankful. I say this so that there will be full disclosure.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 2nd, 2010
Everybody is always looking to find a new angle or a fresh way of looking at the typical horror film. That is, when they’re not trying to recycle/reboot/remake/reimagine something that’s already been done, often more than once. Credit writer Glenn B Hopper III and director Neil H. Weiss for at least coming up with a new spin on some old ideas. The Hanged Man doesn’t venture very far from its traditional horror roots, but it does offer you a little more thoughtful motivations and insights into its characters and situations.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 31st, 2010
The second (and final) season of this erotic horror anthology series follows the pattern set down by the first. David Bowie replaces Terence Stamp as host, and takes up the job of briefly uttering portentous statements before each story rolls. These stories star such luminaries as Giovanni Ribisi, Eric Roberts, Jennifer Beals and Lori Petty, and are based on tales by a pretty impressive line-up of line-up of writers: Poppy Z. Brite, Kim Newman, David J. Schow, Gemma Files and Ramsey Campbell, to name but a few.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 27th, 2010
I’m reminded of my innocent childhood days when Mr. Rogers would come on my black & white television to change his shoes and put on a sweater. I have to say that I always found the guy a little creepy. He would sing to us in a soft hypnotic voice: “It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood, a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Could you be mine. Would you be my neighbor.” Mr. Rogers had quite a fanciful neighborhood indeed. The place was mostly populated with puppets and strange creatures of all sizes. And while today he’d look and sound like a pedophile, Mr. Rogers welcomed everyone to his neighborhood. So, I can’t help thinking how he’d feel about “The Girl”.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 15th, 2010
Parasomnia is a broad term that covers a lot of sleep disorders. I even ran into the term in association with restless leg syndrome. But there is a severe disorder called Kleine-Levin Syndrome, also known as Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, where the sufferer spends a very large part of their lives asleep. In reality, it usually amounts to days at a time. In William Malone’s new thriller Parasomnia, we meet Laura, who sleeps about 90% of the time, making her a true Sleeping Beauty.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 8th, 2010
“Barugon: The Freezing Monster – This carnivorous reptile, a nightmare cross between a monitor lizard and a chameleon, is found only in New Guinea’s Valley Of The Rainbow. It is born every 1000 years, according to legend, from an egg resembling a large opal. It has a long, darting tongue used as a battering ram, while the tip sprays a freezing mist that immobilizes its prey…”
Ask anyone about Japanese monster movies and Gamera usually won’t be the first name that comes into their minds.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 7th, 2010
Mention the name of George A. Romero to anyone even remotely familiar with horror movies, and the first thing they’re going to think of is zombies. Why shouldn’t they? It was Romero who made what might be the first little film that could. Long before Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, Romero set out with his trusty 16 mm camera and a crew of pretty much local Pittsburgh friends, to make Night Of The Living Dead. With this film and the ongoing “Dead” franchise, Romero has pretty much written the rule book on zombies. He is no doubt the zombie king.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2010
The title is grammatically ambiguous. Is this a film about vampire killers who happen to be lesbians, or killers of lesbian vampires? The former might have given the film some nicely subversive potential, but the latter is the case. Our heroes are the gormless pair of the serially dumped Jimmy (James Corden) and the piggish Fletch (Mathew Horne) – basically Shaun and Ed from Shaun of the Dead, minus the wit. Heading out to a randomly picked village in rural England for a low-budget vacation, the duo happen upon a VW bus filled with women who, based on the available evidence, have just finished a gig as background dancers for a hip-hop video. The group arrives at a decrepit mansion and proceed to party, unaware that the area is cursed by the lesbian vampire queen Carmilla. Seeking to resurrect their matriarch, her minions proceed to vamp all but one of the women, and the stage is set for a supernatural battle of the sexes.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 30th, 2010
“Cursed (kur’sid) adj. To be afflicted with, suffer from the calling down of calamity on someone by a spirit, deity, demon, or one of the dead, esp. from a desire for revenge, resulting in an evil, malevolent being.”
I’m well aware of the popularity of the Twilight series. I have to admit that I’ve pretty much avoided the films, mostly because after 7 years of teaching high school I’ve had more than my fair share of teenage angst. Let’s face it. These films are not really for the die-hard vampire, werewolf, or horror fans. They’re genre chick flicks full of all of that overflowing romance and adolescent hormones.
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