Romantic comedies are the bane of most male’s movie watching lives. Imagine everything that turns your stomach into sour grapes. A handsome leading guy, a wining leading lady and more holes in the plot than that one pair of underwear that you just can’t get rid of. Well, despite the court restraining orders, despite the risk of self-mutilation, I review a harrowing title today named simply Love, Wedding, Marriage. May the gods help us through this one.
Love, it is a many splendid thing that causes men to act like complete idiots. Enter, Charlie (played by Kellan Lutz) who is on camera and trips over his tongue a bunch to proclaim his love to the woman of his life. Who is this woman you ask, well that would be Ava (played by Mandy Moore). We are soon treated to the wedding where Ava’s father Bradley (played by James Brolin) leads her down the aisle while Bradley’s wife, Betty (played by Jane Seymour) looks on.
Later on at the reception, we are introduced to the best man, Gerber (played by Michael Weston) who proclaims himself to be a one woman man from here on out after seeing how special Charlie and Ava are together. He also goes on to catch the bouquet. Ummmm, nevermind. Let us move on. The bride and groom have jobs to attend to. Charlie is in charge of his own vineyard (he even comes up with a vintage based on his marriage, awwww…shoot me, somebody please) and Ava is a marriage counselor and employs her sister, Shelby (played by Jessica Szohr) to help.
In between clients, Ava and Shelby are planning for their parent’s thirty year wedding anniversary. However, they soon hear yelling outside their door. They are soon greeted by their parents and Betty proclaims she wants a divorce. She cites infidelity (from twenty five years ago when they were separated briefly) and a distaste for Bradley’s Jewish beliefs. Ava does her best to counsel them but is unable to make them reconcile. But somehow, she pawns off her mother to go stay at Shelby’s apartment. That’s a great sister right there. Shelby understandably protests.
Ava is becoming unraveled so she turns to her husband and a half gallon of Blue Bunny ice cream. She goes over and talks to her dad at their very nice house and somehow convinces him to come stay with her and Charlie. Of course, like her mother she doesn’t actually ask Charlie if the father can stay. Because in a separation and possible divorce, I want to leave my gorgeous house and impose on my daughter and her new husband. No, I would like to be left alone, k thanks.
Anyway, later Gerber stops by with his new wife, Kasia (played by Marta Zmuda Trzebiatowska) and this leads to an impromptu karaoke session. The father joins in and everything is a certifiable mess. Ava tries to send her parents to a trusted counselor, Dr. George (played by Christopher Lloyd) but that doesn’t do much as he suggests “death break therapy” or basically having no contact from each other. So over time they learn to appreciate each other. Where is Marty and his DeLorean? I need to go back to the future and stop reviewing this.
This is simply not good enough for Ava. She needs them back together now, for their 30th wedding anniversary. Wow, because this brat is not the slightest bit unselfish. But the next night, Ava and Charlie decide to go out on a double date with Gerber and Kasia. Gerber gets a little bit too toasted and spills the beans about Charlie’s first marriage. It seems that a while back, Charlie was married foolishly to a girl but annulled the marriage within a few weeks. Something he wishes to forget. But of course, Ava sees this as a break of trust and this whole sucker is going downhill fast.
The term, mind numbing is very appropriate here. We get two men who made very simple mistakes way back in their life and are trying to forget them. Their only real crime is waiting so long in telling their affected spouse their misgivings. But of course, each spouse has to treat it as a sign of the apocalypse. Then somehow in the course of a ninety minute drama session, everything comes together miraculously and we get a happy ending. Sorry, if that spoiled the movie for anybody, but this should not come as a surprise.
Most of the actors and actresses are completed wasted in the film to boot. James Brolin (even though he looks like he is trying to have fun with his role) and Christopher Lloyd are two good examples of wasting away in their roles. Jane Seymour does an okay turn here and Mandy is well Mandy. In other words, it is what I completely expect of her for the next twenty years. Jessica Szohr and Marta Zmuda Trzebiatowska are basically there for eye candy. Sorry, it had to be said. Perhaps if the writing had something besides romantic comedy cliches, I wouldn’t have to grasp at straws for positives.
Video
The video is in 2.40:1 widescreen presentation at 1080p resolution. The video looks pretty decent and at most spots represent a big budget movie. There are lots of color and the surroundings are good to gaze at. It is about what you would expect since this movie is mostly based on the conflict and then the resolve. It is not going to wow you, but provided you can stomach the picture in the first place, you will be witness to an above average presentation.
Audio
For the audio portion, we get a 5.1 DTS-HD Master track for English (also included is an English PCM 2.0 track). To be honest, it seems that the audio was the last thing on movie maker’s minds since they did not even change the back cover (it still says Dolby Digital 5.1) to compensate for the Master audio. Dialog is okay and there is not much oomph in the track. It has a few songs but there is hardly any surrounds to be aware of in this picture. If one likes the movie, then they will able to get through it just fine. Subtitles are also included for English SDH and Spanish.
Special Features
- Automatic Trailers: Peep, An Invisible Sign, Buck and The Princess of Montpensier
- Trailer 2:23: The only extra in this film unless you count the Outtakes montage during the end credits. It is barely worth mentioning.
Final Thoughts
It seems like I am not the only one with distaste when it comes to this movie. Rotten Tomatoes rates it at 0%, audiences according to IMDB thought it was meh at best and even the production company who came out with the blu-ray couldn’t be bothered to get the specs right on the back. It is a cliché fest from beginning to end and the talent unfortunately is utterly wasted. James Brolin is the only somewhat bright spot worth mentioning in this torrid tale. No recommendation here and hopefully everybody can find a way to avoid this one in haste.
