Tooth Fairy 2 (Blu-Ray)

Sometimes you just know. As a movie reviewer, I always strive for an open mind. I work for the idea that even if the cover screams snorefest or if the movie has a star I can absolutely not stand, perhaps just perhaps there is a nugget of cinema goodness underneath. Then I received Tooth Fairy 2 on Blu-Ray. After I screamed at the heaven’s above and drank myself into a deep coma, I decided that an open mind was a terrible thing to waste.

We open up to the Boardwalk Bowl and apparently they run a weekly contest where some lucky guy or gal could bowl for the chance to win a new Camaro. Here at a bowling alley, I was expecting a Ford F150, but I digress. Larry Guthrie (played by Larry the Cable Guy) ogles the car but his girlfriend Brooke (played by Erin Beute) reminds him of her niece’s birthday party. BTW, for those scoring at home, Larry has played Larry quite a few times in his acting life.

Anyway, Larry ignores Brooke and enters the drawing. Meanwhile Beauregard (played by David Mackey) who runs the contest strikes up a conversation with Brooke. It sounds like he is up to no good but Brooke falls for his charm. Soon, we see Beau drawing out the name of the winner of the contest. As it turns out, Larry is indeed the lucky contestant for this week. I smell shenanigans, I think that contest was rigged, call me crazy.

So despite further protests from Brooke, Larry is off to bowl for the Camaro. His mission, he must make the infamous 7-10 split. He gets three tries. The first one goes through the uprights, it’s good! Oh wait, this is not football. Strike 1 (smell the irony). The second one is a good ole fashioned gutter ball. Strike 2. Frazzled, friends help Larry to some nice and nasty nachos. Perhaps that is exactly what he needs. With nachos in hand, he gets his ball for the very last shot.

A big glob of nacho cheese falls on the floor. Larry slips and the ball goes flying down the lane. It goes directly into the 7 and the pin ricochets into the 10…and then that pin proceeds to knock down every other pin in every other lane east of that spot. I heard it even eventually hit Jeff Foxworthy in the back of the head on the set of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader which caused him to go crazy and whack half a dozen 5th graders with a giant ruler while sputtering “You Might Be..a…Fifth Grader.”

1 year and 15 minutes of fame later, Larry still has his Camaro but no Brooke. It seems that she went off and got engaged to Beau who actually happens to now be Bo Billy and running for office. Larry still works at a car garage and has quite the magic touch when it comes to fixing automobiles. But on this day, he decides to pay Brooke a visit who works at an after school recreation center. They talk about life and he laments how Brooke is making a mistake by being with Beau. The ole “Bo Billy” drives up.

With Brooke distracted with her man, Larry finds himself talking to one of the children, Gabe (played by Gabriel Suttle). A little too late, he catches himself saying to the child that the Tooth Fairy is not real. Soon, there is crying involved and after I grab a tissue to wipe my eyes (I have been duped this whole time), Larry is trotting home to drown his suffering in a big bucket of chicken. He remembers the special time he spent with Brooke, apparently it involved barbeque sauce. GUTTER OUT!

Suddenly, he sees a green glow coming from his bedroom. Underneath a pillow, he finds a glowing letter from the Tooth Fairy Commission. Suddenly, he turns into a big pink fairy, complete with pink tutu. Seriously? Then all of the sudden, he is transported into a giant white hall in front of a little girl named Nyx (played by Brady Reiter). Except, she is not a little girl, she’s actually an elder case worker for Fairy Land. Sure, why not. Soon, we will get flying pigs (that comes later).

Larry is confused (more so than usual) and thinks that he is now a chicken because he ate too much chicken. If that was the case, Charlie Sheen would be a tiger. Winning! Nyx explains to Larry that he is a tooth fairy and since he broke tooth fairy law (by telling a child that the tooth fairy was not real), he is sentenced to get ten teeth or he will lose the best memory he ever had. Poof, Larry wakes up in his own trailer the next morning. He thinks it was just a dream, but little does he know that everything will change.

Lord, I apologize. I am not sure exactly what I did to be punished by reviewing this movie, but I promise to say 8 hallelujahs and stop using his name when the Eagles lose on Sunday. But seriously, this movie was something of inevitability after The Rock used his charisma to bring the first Tooth Fairy to a modest success. However, where the Rock was able to keep a straight face and play the silly role as well as anybody could, Larry is all around goofy.

It probably does not help either that the budget on this one is razor thin. The jokes are not written very well either. At some point when Larry suddenly has a giant light bulb lurching out of his rectum, we know that this movie is never going to get any funnier. The only bright spots in the movie are the child actors, particularly Gabe and Nyx who milk their parts for all they are worth and then some. Even the other adult actors look incredibly bored and are just waiting for their next movie.

Video

The video is in 1.78:1 Widescreen presentation at 1080p. While the movie is not very good, this movie screams a lot of color. Environments are bright and filled with color. Since the Tooth Fairy has to get his teeth at night, we are also introduced to a lot of night time environments which work out incredibly well. There was never a moment that I could not decipher the on screen action. If only I liked the movie a little more.

Audio

For the audio portion, we get a 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track in English (5.1 Tracks also available for French and Spanish). The same can be said of the audio as the video. Audio is very loud and dialog is nice and crystal clear. Surrounds are often which was a little surprising and the entire stage was very dynamic. Fairy magic and pig grunts never sounded so good. Subtitles are provided in English SDH, Spanish, and French.

Special Features

• Automatic Trailers : Digital Copy (but this movie comes with no Digital Copy, ummmm), Chipwrecked, Marley & Me: The Puppy Years, and Glee 3D
• Why Do I Lose My Baby Teeth? 4:40: Larry in character answers a few questions from kids. Kinda sweet, kinda cute, kinda corny as all get out. He really needs to cut out the chicken.
• Return to Fairyland – Making Tooth Fairy 2 9:07: They give an explanation of the first Tooth Fairy and how the sequel came about. Relationships are also a topic here and the chemistry between Larry and Brooke is explained. The crew also explains the smaller budget and where they cut a few corners. Naturally, there is a certain amount of lovefest for Larry.
• Larry the Hairy Fairy 4:52: This goes over the pink tutu costume that Larry had to endure. The costume designer goes over how the glaring outfit was created. They also touch on the overalls outfit as well.
• Tooth Fairy 2 Introduces Crusher the Pig 2:59: It starts with some rehash about the story. Then we move on to the pig who loves Moon Pies. No, not Larry. Crusher. They really do not spend much time on the pig before rehashing more movie story. Odd and ineffective.
• Deleted Scenes and Alternate Takes 9:56: There are eleven scenes total but they are mostly alternate takes where only one or two things change in the scene. Again, it is rehash and does little to expand on the movie.
• Sneak Peek: Strawberry Shortcake

Final Thoughts

Despite the witty banter and my desire to make the viewing experience of this movie better than it was, it was really a hard vehicle to get into. Unlike the Camaro that Larry won, this one felt sluggish and was stuck in third gear on more than one occasion. It probably did not help that the plot was filled with loop holes and loose ends. It does its best to make this a movie that the whole family can enjoy, but only small kids will probably find any enjoyment in the ninety minutes.

Thankfully, the disc was technically a lot better. There is some really great video and audio behind these blu-ray walls and there is an assortment of extras even if they really do not work very well. Again, I guess I could recommend this to a few small kids who either like Larry or want a kid’s movie that is filled with really corny and stereotypical jokes. Most adults will be able to steer clear of this one thanks to the obvious cover but for those brave enough to take a look, be warned. Pink overalls and a bunch of flour filled pantyhose balls will not be able to save this one.