Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 15th, 2012
I was flipping through the latest issue of Sad Trombone magazine the other day, and it contained an article revealing — through entirely unscientific research — that the general consensus appears to be, "People suck." As a result, I was already in the proper mindset when I sat down to watch The Divide, probably the most pessimistic movie of the past year.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 12th, 2012
- "I have a question for you. You're some random guy from the city, no one in the zoo community has ever heard of you. You know nothing about animals and you moved into a dump...why did you buy this place?"
- "Why not?"
Following the death of his beloved wife, Benjamin Mee does what any reasonable man would do under the same circumstances: he quits his job and moves his family into a zoo. I suspect you'll enjoy this movie a lot more if you simply shrug your shoulders and say, "Why not?"
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 10th, 2012
Ben Affleck's dating life wreaked plenty of havoc on the moviegoing public during the early part of the 2000s. We all know about the infamous Gigli and Jersey Girl debacles with Jennifer Lopez. (It didn't even matter that J. Lo was barely in Jersey Girl — which actually has a few cute moments — or that the indefensible Gigli was just a deeply weird flick which happened to star two of the world's most famous, romantically-involved movie stars.) The film usually left off this dubious category is Bounce, a soggy romantic drama starring Affleck and former squeeze Gwyneth Paltrow.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on April 4th, 2012
Nine college friends are reunited by the death of a beloved former classmate. While attending his funeral, they learn their wealthy friend has left behind a will stipulating that each of them will receive a big chunk of his fortune if they can stay at his mansion for five days without a single person leaving. So basically, this terrible movie is an unholy mash-up of The Big Chill and The House on Haunted Hill. Come to think of it, I would've liked this flick a lot more if everyone had been murdered by ghosts.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 2nd, 2012
They came back to tie the game five different times. They were down by two runs in the bottom of the ninth and facing a closer who had been a perfect 6 for 6 in save situations during that postseason. They were down to the last strike of their entire season two different times. I guess what I'm trying to say is, at a certain point, it became obvious — painfully obvious, if you happen to be a fan of the Texas Rangers — that there was no effing way the St. Louis Cardinals were losing Game 6 of the 2011 World Series.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on March 31st, 2012
I think most of us can agree that being buried alive would be a horrible way to go. Several movies — Kill Bill: Vol. 2, The Vanishing (not the soft American remake) and, of course, Buried — have exploited that terror to varying degrees of success. Though the action in A Lonely Place to Die centers around a girl found buried in the Scottish Highlands, the camera frequently pulls way back to show us the desolate beauty (and danger) of the mountainous setting. I really wish director Julian Gilbey had kept the action on those mountains.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on March 27th, 2012
"It seems to me the measure of the true perversity of the human race, that one of its very few reliably pleasurable activities should be the subject of so much hysteria and repression."
I believe a movie that extensively examines the complex relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, pioneers in the field of psychoanalysis and two of the world's greatest minds during their time, has the potential to be a dynamic cinematic experience. At the very least, it would be intellectually stimulating and serve as a wonderful showcase for a pair of capable actors. Unfortunately, A Dangerous Method is not really that movie.
Posted in: The Reel World by J C on March 25th, 2012
As someone who devoured The Hunger Games during a single marathon sitting a week before the movie's release, I was particularly curious and excited to see Suzanne Collins' best seller get the big-screen treatment. Judging by all the Team Peeta devotees and side-braid-sporting, would-be Katnisses — who had certainly been waiting for the movie a lot longer than I had — at my opening night screening, I was far from the only one. (The record-breaking box office was another clue.) Still, in a theater packed with rabid superfans, and with a beloved property making its much-anticipated jump onto the silver screen, the question of whether or not the movie is actually any good can often seem somewhat beside the point.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on March 22nd, 2012
Even though I'm guilty of doing it myself, I always laugh a little when I hear someone complain that certain actors "just play themselves": as if you or I actually know these celebrities personally and have the authority to say what they're like in real life. Of course, what we really mean is most movie stars have found a screen persona that has connected with audiences and — in the spirit of giving people what they want (or laziness) — tend to stick pretty close to that image, adding only a tweak when we catch on to their game. (I mean, do we really want to see Sylvester Stallone tackle Hamlet? Wait, that would be amazing!)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on March 20th, 2012
After watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, my mind wandered over to Inception of all places. Remember how Ellen Page's character pretty much only existed so other people could explain to her — and, by extension, us in the audience — the rules of the movie's universe and what the hell was happening? Well, watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy for the first time felt a lot like what I imagine Inception would look like if Page's novice architect hadn't been in the script: words and items have dual meanings, characters have double (and triple) motivations, and good luck figuring out everything that's going on in this complex world!
