Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 17th, 2012
"In space no one can hear you scream."
It was the tagline that brought us by the droves into our neighborhood cinemas in 1979 to see one of Ridley Scott's two classic science fiction adventures. Alien was one of the scariest science fiction films we've ever seen. It wasn't just the wonderfully organic H.R. Giger designs that had us on the edge of our seats. Scott delivered a claustrophobic nightmare that caged us with this remarkable killing machine. Much the same feeling I had recently trapped in a minivan with a large spider on the prowl. It was an instant classic and holds up just as well today. It was, of course, followed by one worthy sequel and another two that I choose to pretend never happened. More recently, the franchise was paired with the Predator universe for another two films, the second of which was actually a pretty good film. Still it has been with bated breath that many of us were waiting for Ridley Scott to return to these classic roots and scare us all over again. The result of that 30 + year wait is Prometheus.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 17th, 2012
"Do you want me to give it to you straight?"
When last we left our main characters from the first two Madagascar films they were stranded in Africa after being shipped from their home in the New York Zoo. We knew the sequel was coming. They couldn't have left it any more wide open than they did. Of course, the reasonable questions were already being asked by the time the second film began. Do we really need another Madagascar film? Is there any new territory to explore? What could they possibly add to make us want to come back for more?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 21st, 2012
Written by Bob Ross and David Annandale
Bill Paxton accompanies James Cameron on another expedition to the Titanic, and narrates this documentary about their exploration of the ship. Though the narration is hobbled by an endless stream of pseudo-profundities, the underwater photography is simply stunning. Thanks to two remote-controlled robots, we get to see the interior of the ship. Computer animation and superimposed extras (the ghosts of the title) both re-create the ship as it once was, and help us visualize where…we are in the wreckage, and what transpired there.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Bob Ross on September 14th, 2012
It was an excellent experience in 1997, when I reviewed Titanic as it opened in America’s theaters. A sweeping disaster epic wrapped around a passionate romantic drama, the film quickly dispelled early rumors that it would sink faster than the actual boat did 100 years ago. Yes, I liked the movie a bunch. I admired its scope, its detail, its amazing effects and its superb cast. Director James Cameron’s extensive, expensive production schedule was vindicated by critics and box-office alike. Yet, somehow I never really wanted to see it again. Too intense, too tragic, too overwrought. Maybe it was just that horrid Celine Dion song.
I was wrong. “Titanic” is well worth a second look – especially if you can see Cameron’s astonishing reprocessing of his work into a three-dimensional spectacle par excellence. For one thing, you forget a lot of details after 15 years. And there’s no better way to be reminded of such things than to see them on a meticulously remastered 3D Blu-ray.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 14th, 2012
"If there's a theme, you could call it The Return..."
Warner Brothers has entered the popular scene with yet another vampire series taken from yet another powerful franchise of popular books. Enter The Vampire Diaries. While I've avoided the Twilight series so far (I've had my fill of teenage angst as a high school teacher). The series follows loosely the series of novels written by L.J. Smith. If you're a fan of the books, you have to take a few things into consideration. Characters work differently on screen than in a book, so many of them have been changed. Perhaps the biggest change is that Elena's four-year-old sister is now a teenage younger brother. You may not like the change, but it does make for better prime-time drama, doesn't it? The crew attempted to keep as close to the source material as possible, while attempting to create their own special television universe. I'm not sure about the books. I've never read them. I do know that this show works.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Bob Ross on September 7th, 2012
What’s the latest home video gimmick? 3D, of course. And what’s the leading genre for cheap thrills on a low budget? The goofball horror movie, right? So it makes sense – sort of – for an enterprising filmmaker to throw together a low-comedy fright flick with cheesy gross-outs and bouncing breasts. See, in 3D, those babies can bounce big-time. And if that’s not enough boost for the boys in the audience, you also get severed heads, detached limbs, barf jokes and the dopiest plot this side of Lake Placid the Final Chapter. OK, you caught me. I never saw that one, it just sounds ridiculous.
But I did sit through Piranha 3DD, which was not difficult because (a) I still enjoy the novelty of 3D home video, (b) it’s only 82 minutes long, and (c) the film earns its R rating (for “sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language and some drug use”) while refusing to take itself seriously for even a moment.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on August 21st, 2012
There’s obviously nothing funny about the atrocities committed by some of history’s most notorious tyrants. So why have these men proven to be such a surprisingly fertile source of comedy? Whether it’s (Puppet) Kim Jong-il crooning forlornly about being lonely (actually “ronery”) in Team America: World Police or Adolf Hitler being saluted by a chorus line of high-stepping stormtroopers in The Producers, there’s certainly a precedent for mocking these reviled figures. With The Dictator, Sacha Baron Cohen appears to be taking his patented inappropriateness to a new level.
Cohen — the English actor, comedian and professional provocateur — stars as Admiral General Haffaz Aladeen, ruler of the oil-rich and fictitious Republic of Wadiya. (Muammar Gaddafi and Saddam Hussein are clearly major influences.) The trick to making this sort of (potentially-abhorrent) comedy seems to be focusing on the outrageous personalities of these tyrants, rather than all the horrible things they’ve done. As a result, Aladeen is racist, sexist and too many other negative “-ists” to list, but the movie portrays him as a bearded buffoon who isn’t even remotely dangerous. (Though try telling that to the dozens of people Aladeen orders to be executed over trivial offenses.) When he is summoned by the United Nations to address concerns about his country’s nuclear program, Aladeen travels to New York, where he embarks on a life-changing journey involving a boyish feminist (Anna Faris), a severed head and a few celebrity cameos.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 9th, 2012
"A high-octane, globe-spanning thriller with storylines ripped from today's headlines, Strike Back, Cinemax's first scripted prime-time original drama series, focuses on two members of a top-secret intelligence agency known as Section 20."
Cinemax has finally joined the world of original cable television programming. It's not really a first step since the powers that be at Cinemax are part of the HBO family of premium cable channels, and HBO's been in this game for a long time. They pretty much started the whole thing over 20 years ago. HBO is also distributing this home video version of Cinemax's first series, and it's an explosive series, to be sure.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 11th, 2012
Right before this movie hit theaters, I made a snarky joke about how I was already mentally preparing myself for American Funeral in about 20 years. (I imagined the gang reluctantly reuniting following the death of a 50-year-old Steve Stifler in a tragic, orgy-related accident involving high school girls...except it turns out Stifler faked his death to get the crew back together and shenanigans ensue.) It was an easy joke to make because I felt American Reunion came with a detectable whiff of desperation. Cast members who were missing from 2003's American Wedding were suddenly available now that they weren't quite as busy as they were nine years ago. Instead, I'm happy to say that the fourth film in the franchise — I'm willfully ignoring the straight-to-DVD American Pie Presents... titles — is mostly a love letter to fans and a pretty decent raunchy comedy on its own merits.
The film even acknowledges the odd timing for this particular reunion. I'm not even sure 13-year high school reunions are a real thing (it's not exactly a nice, round number), but that's what brings the American Pie gang back to East Great Falls, Michigan. We spend the first portion of the movie catching up with the characters' lives in their early 30's. Jim and Michelle (Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan) are still married, but in the kind of sexual rut that all married couples with children seem to suffer in movies and on TV. The amusing opening scene reminds us that there is no end to Jim's humiliation and the rest of the film confirms that Jason Biggs' penis is still a reliable source of comedy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 3rd, 2012
Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fairest Snow White movie of them all? (Or at least 2012.) Well, if we're going by box office receipts and critical reception, the winner is Snow White and the Huntsman, the gothic, snarlier twist on the classic tale starring Kristen Stewart (everything starring Stewart is automatically snarlier), Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth. However, if we're going by costumes, production design and general shiny-ness, Mirror Mirror easily wins. I realize that sounds like faint praise, but this family-friendly take on Snow White has its quirky charms.
Julia Roberts headlines this version as a wicked Queen who is fond of lavish parties and elaborate gowns, but rules over a frigid, destitute kingdom following the disappearance of the popular king she married. Snow White (Lily Collins), on the cusp of her 18th birthday, is the king's daughter and the rightful heir to the throne. After the jealous Queen tries to have Snow White murdered, the exiled princess enlists the help of a noble prince (Armie Hammer) and seven outcast dwarves to take back her kingdom.
