Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 23rd, 2012
No matter how bad video game adaptations into movies are, I enjoy the grand majority of them. From the really good ones like Silent Hill and Mortal Kombat (minus the sequels) to the dismal ones like Double Dragon and Super Mario Bros. Each of them has their subtle charm and some thoughtful fan service (unless it is a game film directed by Uwe Boll). Today, we have something a little different, a game film that its sole purpose is to promote the upcoming game. Enter the film : Halo 4 - Foreword Unto Dawn.
As the film opens, we are introduced to the officer cadets at the prestigious Corbulo Academy of Military Sciences. We have the main character, Thomas Lasky (played by Tom Green) who is finding it hard to live up to his family's military history. Cadet Michael "Sully" Sullivan (played by Masam Holden) likes to crack into places where he does not belong. Cadet Walter Vickers (played by Iain Belcher) was born for this as his father produces military weapons.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on December 13th, 2012
At the turn of the millennium, we seemed to collectively decide that we wanted our heroes to be dark and gritty. The X-Men traded in their yellow spandex for black leather in their first big-screen adventure. Batman went from exchanging quips and painful puns with Mr. Freeze to brooding magnificently for director Christopher Nolan. And Hollywood almost completely stopped making candy-colored spectacles like Dick Tracy.
It’s not difficult to understand why this happened. Though I have a soft spot for pulpy ‘90s period pieces like The Rocketeer, The Shadow and even The Phantom, they didn’t exactly set the box office on fire. The star-studded Dick Tracy was actually the most successful film from this group, grossing over $100 million, earning seven(!) Oscar nominations and winning three of those trophies. However, the fact that Dick Tracy’s closest doppelganger is probably the ultra-violent Sin City — another tale with tough-talking cops and crooks that looks like it was ripped directly from the pages of its source material for the big screen — tells you where moviemaking has gone from then to now.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on November 13th, 2012
People make fun of us Floridians for a variety of reasons. (Some of them don’t even involve our performance in presidential elections.) One of the most popular ways out-of-staters in the northern part of the country — as well as our Canadian readers — mock us is by chuckling whenever we dash to our closets and dust off our winter wear as soon as the weather dips below 60 degrees. So I can’t even imagine how we’d handle a full-blown Snowmageddon!
Snowmageddon is the latest disaster — in every sense of the word — courtesy of SyFy Original films, which has already brightened countless Saturday nights with tastefully-titled flicks like Stonehenge Apocalypse, Piranhaconda and Snipers vs. Vipers. (Have fun figuring out which one of those I made up. No Googling allowed!)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on October 23rd, 2012
The best thing about Gone in 60 Seconds is that the film knows exactly what it is. Just take a look at the breathless blurbs on the Blu-ray case for the latest release. “Over 500 crashes!” “93 cars wrecked in the 40-minute car chase!” No one involved with this movie thought they were making an intimate character piece. I mean the top-billed star is “Eleanor.” Did I mention that Eleanor is a 1973 Ford Mustang?
The plot is little more than a necessary nuisance before the movie’s show-stopping climax, but here we go anyway. Maindrian Pace (what a name!) is an insurance investigator who moonlights as the leader of a car thieving ring. Since Pace is the hero of our story, he only steals cars from people who are insured and subsequently compensated for the trouble he’s caused them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on October 13th, 2012
Ever wonder what a martial arts epic directed by Baz “Moulin Rouge” Luhrmann would look like? Me neither. But that’s pretty much what we get with Legendary Amazons, (loosely) based on the exploits of the Yang family during the Song Dynasty. The story has an intriguing hook — the men of the Yang clan are massacred in battle, leaving their women to throw on armor and take to the battlefield — but is ultimately bogged down by its cartoonish tone and embarrassingly bad production values.
For the cartoonish tone, we can probably thank/blame producer Jackie Chan since the Hong Kong superstar has crafted a wildly successful career out of injecting comedy into the martial arts genre. (Legendary Amazons even has Chan’s signature bloopers during the end credits; although the actress who fell off a horse and hit the ground hard didn’t seem to be laughing.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on October 10th, 2012
Direct to Video movies is usually just a clever term to mean “We have a small budget and B-List stars so we are going to skip the theater and go straight to video and hope to capitalize on the people who might pick this up on a very slow Friday night.” Today’s review is about a man simply known as the “Courier”. It could be a ripoff of the Transporter. It might be a mailman who handles packages by day and the ladies by night.
Bad B-Movies aside, let’s see how this one plays out.
We start this bright day with an amusement park. A wristwatch shows six minutes left. Let’s go over the cast of characters shall we? We have a grieving woman in peril, a deadbeat carnival owner and a gunman sitting on top of a rollercoaster. Wait, who’s down there? Why, it is the Courier (played by Jeffery Dean Morgan), he is here to deliver the goods for the banker’s daughter. What, are they not allowed to use train tracks anymore (federal regulations and all)?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on October 7th, 2012
When I started to review this film, I thought I would come up with a hokey beginning to celebrate the 31 Nights of Terror. That might have worked if I had reviewed It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown or a Lindsey Lohan movie, but to be truthful there is not much humor in this movie to be had. So let us skip the theatrics for at least one review and go straight into reviewing Bedevilled.
The movie starts with a story when vegetarianism was the way to go and the narrator went to camp for four days. The first day, they decided to talk a walk and they were showed various plants and told they could eat them. Some did, some did not. Later at night when they asked where the food was, the instructor said “Did you not get your fill during the walk?” The people laugh. They pull up to a scene where they see two thugs beat up a young girl and then chase her. The girl runs up to the car where the group of people is to ask for help. Unfortunately, they roll up the window and we fade to black.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on September 26th, 2012
The first word that springs to my mind when considering this box set is “essential.” I try to use that word without all of the marketing baggage that comes with it, conjured up by countless previous DVD releases of other films that have claimed to be “essential.” This set lives up to that term perfectly. Raiders of the Lost Ark alone is an incredibly important film (as my review below explains in a gushing fanboy-ish manner) and the entire series is a must have for any true fan of American cinema. This transfer to Blu Ray is a very successful one, making this the ultimate collection to purchase.
Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on September 20th, 2012
They say blood is thicker than water. Both of those substances are on display in Brawler, which cannily stages its bloody, illegal fights on a New Orleans riverboat. The film’s plot was inspired by a real-life pair of feuding brothers who infamously came to blows, but the Big Easy practically shares top billing with the squabbling siblings.
At the start of Brawler, we get to see Charlie (Nathan Grubbs) and Bobby (Marc Senter) Fontaine in separate fights. Those fights also serve as a shorthand introduction into their personalities: older brother Charlie has a more workmanlike approach, while Bobby is a ruthless showboat. Charlie and Bobby are the sons of a legendary fighter who we never get to see.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on September 9th, 2012
One of my strongest assets is my ability to compute numbers. It has helped me to excel at my paying position in the workforce as well as stay ahead when it comes to my finances. However, to date I have never really been placed in a position where my mastery of numbers would determine life or death. However, our movie today, Safe does involve a girl named Mei whose very life indeed could end on the basis of whether or not she can properly remember her numbers.
As our story opens, we find ourselves in a subway with a Chinese girl named Mei (played by Catherine Chan) who is very scared and alone. But if we transport ourselves just an hour earlier, we find that same girl in front of the Russian mob. Emile Docheski (played by Sandor Tecsy) demands that Mei give him the numbers. Numbers? Well, to understand that we need to travel to a year ago.
