Action

No matter how bad video game adaptations into movies are, I enjoy the grand majority of them. From the really good ones like Silent Hill and Mortal Kombat (minus the sequels) to the dismal ones like Double Dragon and Super Mario Bros. Each of them has their subtle charm and some thoughtful fan service (unless it is a game film directed by Uwe Boll). Today, we have something a little different, a game film that its sole purpose is to promote the upcoming game. Enter the film : Halo 4 - Foreword Unto Dawn.

At the turn of the millennium, we seemed to collectively decide that we wanted our heroes to be dark and gritty. The X-Men traded in their yellow spandex for black leather in their first big-screen adventure. Batman went from exchanging quips and painful puns with Mr. Freeze to brooding magnificently for director Christopher Nolan. And Hollywood almost completely stopped making candy-colored spectacles like Dick Tracy.

People make fun of us Floridians for a variety of reasons. (Some of them don’t even involve our performance in presidential elections.) One of the most popular ways out-of-staters in the northern part of the country — as well as our Canadian readers — mock us is by chuckling whenever we dash to our closets and dust off our winter wear as soon as the weather dips below 60 degrees. So I can’t even imagine how we’d handle a full-blown Snowmageddon!

The best thing about Gone in 60 Seconds is that the film knows exactly what it is. Just take a look at the breathless blurbs on the Blu-ray case for the latest release. “Over 500 crashes!” “93 cars wrecked in the 40-minute car chase!” No one involved with this movie thought they were making an intimate character piece. I mean the top-billed star is “Eleanor.” Did I mention that Eleanor is a 1973 Ford Mustang?

Ever wonder what a martial arts epic directed by Baz “Moulin Rouge” Luhrmann would look like? Me neither. But that’s pretty much what we get with Legendary Amazons, (loosely) based on the exploits of the Yang family during the Song Dynasty. The story has an intriguing hook — the men of the Yang clan are massacred in battle, leaving their women to throw on armor and take to the battlefield — but is ultimately bogged down by its cartoonish tone and embarrassingly bad production values.

Direct to Video movies is usually just a clever term to mean “We have a small budget and B-List stars so we are going to skip the theater and go straight to video and hope to capitalize on the people who might pick this up on a very slow Friday night.” Today’s review is about a man simply known as the “Courier”. It could be a ripoff of the Transporter. It might be a mailman who handles packages by day and the ladies by night.
Bad B-Movies aside, let’s see how this one plays out.

When I started to review this film, I thought I would come up with a hokey beginning to celebrate the 31 Nights of Terror. That might have worked if I had reviewed It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown or a Lindsey Lohan movie, but to be truthful there is not much humor in this movie to be had. So let us skip the theatrics for at least one review and go straight into reviewing Bedevilled.

The first word that springs to my mind when considering this box set is “essential.” I try to use that word without all of the marketing baggage that comes with it, conjured up by countless previous DVD releases of other films that have claimed to be “essential.” This set lives up to that term perfectly. Raiders of the Lost Ark alone is an incredibly important film (as my review below explains in a gushing fanboy-ish manner) and the entire series is a must have for any true fan of American cinema. This transfer to Blu Ray is a very successful one, making this the ultimate collection to purchase.

They say blood is thicker than water. Both of those substances are on display in Brawler, which cannily stages its bloody, illegal fights on a New Orleans riverboat. The film’s plot was inspired by a real-life pair of feuding brothers who infamously came to blows, but the Big Easy practically shares top billing with the squabbling siblings.

One of my strongest assets is my ability to compute numbers. It has helped me to excel at my paying position in the workforce as well as stay ahead when it comes to my finances. However, to date I have never really been placed in a position where my mastery of numbers would determine life or death. However, our movie today, Safe does involve a girl named Mei whose very life indeed could end on the basis of whether or not she can properly remember her numbers.