Television

It was inevitable. Spongebob Squarepants gets its own Christmas Special. Usually television shows take the lazy route and inject their own characters into a familiar Christmas story and make a parody or adaptation (how many times have we seen Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol redone?). Thankfully this special offers a unique tale of the malevolent Plankton creating a special fruitcake that turns any eater into a totally jerk. Will Spongebob's demeanour make him immune? Of course...but what of the rest of Bikini Bottom?

Creator David Simon (The Wire and Generation Kill) has never been a show runner concerned about cliffhangers or plot twists; instead he thrusts his viewers into the day-to-day life of the everyday Joe and shows that real life generates more conflict than most fiction can ever deliver.  Ever since I first watched The Wire I’ve considered myself a fan of Simon’s work, and I feel it could be argued that what Simon did with The Wire is a large factor in why we have the quality of television that we do today.

"Space... the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before."

What a difference a couple of years makes. Rick Berman was pretty stubborn about wanting The Next Generation to live on its own without connecting to the original show, perhaps as much as the fans would have liked.

In the Florida everglades, the Wedloe family have a 650-pound tame bear for a loyal pet. A very young Clint Howard stars as Mark, the son of a game warden (played by Dennis Weaver),who leads Ben around on several adventures and merry mishaps. Though “merry” may be the wrong word as Mark and Ben encounter their fair share of real life dangers.

Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol is vastly re-imagined with characters from Dora. Swiper replaces Scrooge as the one who travels through time in order to learn the true meaning of Christmas. This special is twice the length of a normal episode.

You think you had a bad day? This guy lost a billion dollars.”

Clear History is ostensibly about hot-shot marketing exec Nathan Flomm, who misses out on a billion-dollar payday after a petty disagreement. But really, this HBO Films original comedy is basically a 100-minute, all-star episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with prettier scenery. As such, it's another opportunity for writer/star Larry David to profanely and incredulously sound off on a fresh set of social landmines, including insincere apologies and birthday e-card etiquette.

Ike Evans (Morgan) owns the most swank hotel in Miami. It's the Miramar Playa. He bought the land at a song from his deceased wife's family, and he's turned it into a luxury city where the likes of Frank Sinatra call home. He's determined to make it without caving to the influence of his minority partner, who happens to go by the name of The Butcher. He's Ben Diamond (Huston), and he wants the hotel to become a kingdom of gambling and other profitable vices. Sure, Ike allows a little prostitution and backroom bookie action, but he wants to keep the hotel pretty much legit. That's hard with a bank nut that runs $65,000 a month.

When Vikings Season 1 first arrived, I have to admit I was pretty excited. I was particularly eager to see footage from their very first game. Fran Tarkenton came off the bench, and the Vikings went on to become the first expansion team ever to win their very first game. OK, as Baby, our Shepherd/Chow mix dog film reviewer would say: I made that last part up. You'd have to have been living under a pretty isolated rock to have missed all of the buzz over The History Channel's epic new drama series Vikings.

There are five clans of Vampires that are secretly living amongst humans. Said secret is maintained by a code of conduct called the “Masquerade” which states that vampires can never reveal themselves to a human; nor can they “embrace” (bite and convert) a human without approval from the highest council. Defying this means that your lengthy life is forfeit. A detective discovers the truth about the Masquerade when his girlfriend loses her life after defying these very rules, and he sets out to reveal the entire realm of vampires in San Francisco.

"46,000 people died here. Do you think it's haunted?"

It would have been so much better for me if I had seen the first season of American Horror Story. Of course, it isn't necessary. This has to be one of the most clever television ideas I've encountered. You don't have to have seen the first season because, while the actors are pretty much the same, they play completely different parts in a completely different story in the second season.