Television

“I thought this was a family show.”

“Well, it depends on your family.”

"Every ambition has a dark side."

And that includes the world of the cable television series. The world of cable series has brought us some of the most ambitious and compelling television shows we've ever seen. There's no censor board to answer to, so that means the shows have the freedom to expand into visual areas that have long been taboo on network shows. Nudity, sexuality, language, and even violence are often huge parts of these kinds of shows. Because there isn't really a ratings pressure, the shows can also cater to more specialized audiences. Of  course, it's not completely true there are no ratings issues. For these networks it's getting the carriers to distribute their networks, and for some it's signing up premium members. There's little doubt that HBO did enjoy subscriptions completely tied to having The Sopranos. But that kind of programming is no longer rare. It no longer shocks us with its novelty, and the standards for quality have been established at a high level. When you watch a cable show, you don't just expect R material. You expect film-quality production values on the small screen. You also expect quality writing and compelling drama. In the case of Starz new Magic City, you'll have to settle for 2 out of 3. You get the edgy R material and outstanding production values. Unfortunately, the series misses more than it connects on the compelling drama front.

"Sometimes dead is better."

From the rather twisted mind of Stephen King, Pet Sematary is actually one of my favorites of his horror novels. It’s scary to think the story was never meant to be published and only offered up to finish a contract with his earlier publisher. As has been the Stephen King plague at nearly every turn, something ends up lost in the translation. In the novel, the deeper subtexts that King is so adept at take several hundred pages to set up and ultimately pay off. Unfortunately a mere couple of hours of celluloid never …seem to scratch the graveyard surface soil. Pet Sematary is, sadly, a definitive example. While the original work taunts us with its mystic undertones that always seem far more believable than they ought to be, the film lays down a path as overgrown as the one leading to the titular graveyard. At first the two works are not so convergent, and a great deal of hope is to be had. Soon, however, the movie descends into the typical shock horror film so common in recent years. Startles and zombies begin to dominate the experience, while the story’s deeper and far more frightening elements lie as dead as the bones of the neighborhood pets.

"All the food here is fried. The whole town smells like mold. But they could use a good doctor; one who cares about her patients."

And that’s how a cynical New York doctor courageously puts aside a few (mostly true) stereotypes about the South and decides to stick around fictional BlueBell, Alabama. I’m just grateful the people behind Hart of Dixie exercised some restraint and didn’t call their show Southern HOSPITALity.

"It's funny. Some people never get to know the folks next door. They share a fence and nothing else. And we've shared everything. How did we get to be so lucky?"

Fans of Desperate Housewives have considered themselves lucky to have shared many a night with their television neighbors on Wisteria Lane. But like all good things, the ride has come to an end, and it's time to take up residence somewhere else.

We all remember Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy from Married With Children. It's an iconic role that he'll never be able to shake no matter what he does for the rest of his life. After that series ended its 11-year run, he even attempted to get out of comedy and take more dramatic roles. I'm sure there was a deliberate intent to try to distance himself from Al. It's not that he likely didn't love playing the role. He just wanted to avoid getting forever typecast in the mold. Those efforts weren't all that successful. But now he's back where he belongs again in a pretty solid sit-com. He's not playing Al Bundy any more, although you won't have to look very hard to find some of Bundy in Jay from Modern Family.

I have become somewhat frustrated over the television comedy genre for a lot of years. It seems that they all take the same path no matter what the show's actual concept might be. It's usually the same jokes, just in a different environment. I don't have children, but I expect that it must be near impossible to sit down and watch a comedy with your family any more. If I were a stranger visiting this planet for the first time, I would quickly come to the conclusion that sex is about the only thing that's funny here. Thank God that once in a while something fresh comes along and swims against the current tide of innuendo and toilet humor. Modern Family is the kind of show you can enjoy with the entire family. And guess what? It's pretty darn funny on top of it all.

It’s been quite some time since The Chappelle Show went off the air, and it would appear Comedy Central has finally found its replacement.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say the two shows are on the same par, but what Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele bring to the small screen is something that has peaked my interest and shows some potential.  Both Key and Peele got their big breaks from working on the sketch comedy show MADtv, and it would seem they are taking their talents and what they learned to bring us something that is a little familiar but still fresh, and keeps its audience laughing.

To be fair, though, the only endorsement the pair will ever take notice of is that of President Obama, who has actually seen their show and has publicly given it his approval.  Not many sketch comedians can put that in their resume.

The 8th season of CSI: New York begins with the strongest and most emotional CSI episode ever. The show flashes back to what the team members were doing during the 9/11 attacks. It's very tastefully done. They never actually show the planes hitting the buildings, but they do show the disaster as it unfolds on the streets of New York. We get to see Mac spending what will be the final moments with his wife, who was killed during the attacks. We always knew that these people were likely working that day. Now we get to see what they were doing and understand the impact it must have had on their lives.

The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting. While there are ties that bind the three shows to the CSI franchise, each show has a unique style. The cases also serve to distinguish the shows from one another. The leads for the three shows likely give the most character to the series. Gary Sinise as Detective Mac Taylor brings a strength that establishes this show’s credibility from episode one. Taylor is ex-military who lost his wife in the 9/11 attacks. He’s incredibly driven and passionate about bringing down the bad guys, but won’t allow his integrity or that of his lab to be compromised. Also, the New York show differs from the original in that the CSI personnel are full-fledged cops and not just lab rats working for them. I find I like this version far better than the Miami setting, even though I can relate more to the Florida locations essentially in my own back yard.

All good things must come to and end. Fortunately, the same can be said for the not-so-good things as well. I've been calling it the weakest link in the CSI franchise since the year it first hit our television screens. It looks like the ratings and your opinions have supported that feeling, and CSI: Miami is finally going the way of the dinosaur, both on television and in reality... extinct.

The series followed the CSI model set forth in the original Vegas version of the franchise. The lead CSI here was Horatio Caine, played by former NYPD Blue  actor David Caruso. Caruso left that series because he fancied himself better as a big movie star. Several failed leading roles later he finds himself back playing virtually the same character here. It’s the same Caruso odd speaking pattern, only this time he has a lab coat to go with that gun. Adam Rodriguez plays Caine’s favorite among his lab partners, Delko. He shares a bit of history with Delko. They’ve had a few off-the-reservation missions together and have bonded somewhat. Delko wants to be just like Caine. Next in the pecking order is Ryan Wolfe, played by Jonathan Togo. Togo is the Greek-tragedy character here. It seems that every year this guy is getting the worst of it, from losing his hearing to getting roughed up by the Russian mob. He was a cop and transferred over to the CSI unit in season 2 under Caine’s wing. Emily Procter plays Calleigh. She’s the ballistics expert and all-around tough girl with a disarming southern accent. She makes a living by being underestimated. By far the most annoying character is Eva La Rue’s Natalia. Her love lives and former life baggage turn her more often than not into the helpless whimpering damsel in distress. She’s by far the most frustrating character in the entire franchise. Now I won't have to hear her whine one more season… Rex Linn plays the crew’s uniformed cop buddy, Frank Tripp. He’s getting more and more screen time and acts as the audience’s representative on the show. He’s a good tough cop, but the science just goes over his head. New to the 7th season was Megalyn Echikunwoke, please don’t make me spell that last name again, as the new medical examiner on the series, Dr. Tara Price. She’s a huge change from the previous pathologist whom I’m sure fans are already missing. She’s got a bit of a ‘tude. She also flirts too much, while Alex always had this almost unnatural respect for the dead. The best new character and one I will see sorry to go is young Omar Benson Miller, who played Walter on the show for just the last couple of seasons. He brought the freshness the show so desperately needed. I will miss him a lot.

Oregon may have been the 33rd state to join our union — and Portland may be its most populous city — but Portlandia is a state of mind. And according to the surreal IFC sketch series created by stars Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein and director Jonathan Krisel, that state of mind is happily stuck in the simpler time represented by the '90s.

Armisen and Brownstein co-star in almost every sketch, and each segment lasts no more than five minutes. That shrewdly gives the audience multiple opportunities to laugh within one episode even if a particular concept isn’t working or is too bizarre. (One especially painful skit consisted of Armisen and Brownstein repeatedly calling out “Sacagawea!" Thankfully, it was over relatively quickly.)