Television

"I'm back. You're welcome."

I didn't see the series during either of its first two seasons on HBO. When the second season arrived to be reviewed I was more than a little nervous about jumping in without knowing what had come before. Certainly, I checked out the buzz on the show and got an idea of what it was about. But nothing could have prepared me for what I finally encountered when I popped that first disc in my Blu-ray player. It's safe to say that you can join this show for the third season without having seen the first two. I'm sure it helps, but it didn't take me more than five minutes to completely understand who and what Kenny Powers was. He literally speaks for himself. I'll give you a quick up-date.

Stemming from a backdoor pilot episode within the series Girlfriends, The Game is a comedy series about a woman (played by Tia Mowry Hardict) who gave up her career as a doctor in light of the success of her boyfriend's being a star athlete (this is the first pang of misogyny, with more to come). This is the show's fifth season, which is its second after being canceled by CW and revived by BET.

Most of the male, lead characters in this show are current or former members of a fictional professional football team called the San Diego Sabers. In fact, most of them seem to have been cut from the team for one reason or another but coast day to day on their fame and burn through their riches. The first few episodes do siphon some comedy from this situation when the character Derwin Davis (played by Pooch Hall, which is a perfect name for a baseball player...but that has nothing to do with anything) has to sell off his cars, home and learns the true cost of all things he used to buy while abiding with the “baller's code.” Suddenly a $900 bottle of champagne is no longer casually sent to friend's tables at the bar.

So you say Shipping Wars was not enough Waring for you? Are you back for more? Alright, let us dig through the review pile and get some more action for you reality show freaks. How about Hamster Wars? Okay, okay perhaps Paper Airplane Wars? Never mind, I can not stand paper cuts. Ah I have the perfect one here, a spinoff of one of the most popular reality shows out there. Its name is Storage Wars: Texas. Well yee-haw and get me my cowboy hat. This might be a hootenanny after all.

This season one of Storage Wars: Texas is actually something of a misnomer. It contains sixteen episodes and actually it is comprised of the first two seasons of the show. There is a distinction between the seasons which I will explain in just a little bit. As with any reality show, there are usual lists of players who need some introduction.

This is the eighth and final season of this slightly offbeat crime drama. Nothing has brought me more joy than seeing that instantly recognizable CBS packaging that is used for older programs being revived onto DVD releases such as Perry Mason or Barnaby Jones. Now Mannix has the opportunity to wow me as I have been before. Will this be a pleasant experience or surprisingly disappointing?

This show is pleasant enough to behold and was certainly surprised by the strange, almost comedic attributes that are injected. To draw this comparison again, I'm not talking about the endearing way that Barnaby Jones always drinks milk in his own series. I'm talking about Mannix getting hired by a politician to while riding a carousal, or surprising a musician at home who is walking on his hands for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Such things do not explain the plot any better nor suit the intensely serious tone these stories always end up taking. There were times where this series was reminding me of Police Squad! (a complete lampooning of shows like Mannix) when it should be demonstrating the seeds being planted for serious crime shows to follow. When a character refers to another as “baby” or says they “dig it” I can understand that as symptoms of taking place in 1974, but this show goes further than that into oddities. Heck, even the opening credits contains a mixture of images that includes gun fights, fights, skiing and Mannix burning his hands on some toast...I just don't understand what tone this show is trying to set.

Is it just me or does every new reality show have to feature the word: Wars? We have Storage Wars, Property Wars, Parking Wars, and I believe I just heard the other day we have Weed and Whisker Wars. Apparently War is good for reality show business. Well, today we have yet another war to throw on the proverbial fire. Shipping Wars, sponsored by UShip.com and on A&E Television. I guess we need to go find out which trucker will come out on top in this season one package.

The basic premise of Shipping Wars centers on the website known as UShip.com. UShip.com’s plan is simple, if you have something you do not know how to ship, you can list it on the website. Then for the truly odd items, the website offers them up to potential shippers in a reverse auction scenario. Occasionally, the low bidder does not win and the one who gets the shipment is the one with the best feedback. For show purposes, we have a usual list of players who create the reality element.

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D O A. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week ,your month or even your year. But I'll be there for you..."

And for ten years and 236 episodes, they were there for you. It was part of NBC's famous Must See TV Thursday Night. The show has been a perennial Top 10 placeholder in the Nielsen ratings. Who would have ever imagined that a show about six twenty-something (now thirty-something) friends would cause such a commotion? The show has thrived on a very simplistic premise – a group of six friends hanging out together in New York City and more or less enjoying themselves. The setup immediately connected with Gen X’ers and spread like wildfire. The rest, as they say, is history.

Dr. Temperance Brennan, or Bones (Deschanel) is the world's leading bone specialist. She works in Washington, D.C. for the famous Jeffersonian (I assume it's intended to be the Smithsonian). Her talents have proven themselves very helpful in solving crimes where skeletal remains are all that there is to go on from the victim. Her FBI agent/liaison is Seeley Booth (Boreanaz). Together they have an uneasy relationship that grows into a kind of friendship. The problem is that Bones doesn't have a ton of social skills. She relies on Booth to guide their social interactions. More on that later. The lab is run by Dr. Camille Saroyan (Taylor) who has become a bit of a guiding mother to the team. Dr. Hodges (Thyne) is the trace-elements expert and tries very hard to be cool and hip. He's generally the opposite of Bones. He says pretty much what comes into his head and is a bit of a science-fiction geek. Angela (Conlin) is an artist who uses her skills to reconstruct facial details from the skulls. She also works on enhancing images and restructuring evidence. She's a bit of a romantic and has probably slept with every male in the lab. But Angela and Hodges are now married with a son. Dr. Sweets (Daley) is a young FBI agent and psychologist. He profiles victims and suspects as well as serves as a counselor to the team. He's a bit over-eager at times, looking up to Booth as a mentor of sorts. The lab also has a few interns who show up from week to week, likely depending on actor availability.

The problems I have with the show deal mostly with character development. None of these characters have grown much in six years. I jumped from season 1 to season 5, and with the exception of some changes in cast, it was like I never left. The characters spend way too much time talking about their sexual prowess, with more than one character making multiple references to how exceptional they are in bed. The relationships too often take as much time as the cases themselves. This shorts the plot development and often leads the show toward the obvious. And the worst problem is the Bones character herself. She's not likeable at all. She's arrogant to a fault. She always talks about being the best and how she's the natural hero role model for others. But her scientific brain is to the point of cruelty. She has to have non-emotional explanations for everything. She insults with impunity. They also stretch the idea that this highly educated woman doesn't know any slang or figures of speech. She's always misquoting a popular saying as if she were just learning English. It's too contrived, and the writers reach pretty far for each of those "jokes". Gone now is the sexual tension between Booth and Brennan. Now they are openly together and expecting a little one.

“Patterns are hidden in plain sight. You just have to know where to look.”

You don’t have to be into numbers to enjoy Touch, but it certainly helps. Numerology deals with the mystical or divine meaning behind certain numbers. Detractors believe that people who place too much faith in such things will foolishly find significance in just about anything. Similarly, cynical TV viewers will scoff at some of the coincidences and connections in this Fox drama. Either way, it looks like your high school math teacher was right: you WILL be using some of this stuff as an adult.

“When is everything gonna get back to normal?”

Is a happy, well-adjusted Don Draper a good thing? That’s one of the biggest questions posed during Mad Men’s excellent fifth season, and it’s aimed at the other characters in the show as well as a passionate TV audience that has become seriously invested in Jon Hamm’s suave antihero.

When I first learned that Adam Green (director of Hatchet and Frozen) would be creating a show to air on Fear Net, this seemed like a slice of heaven to me.  I love horror, and with the exception of The Walking Dead and American Horror Story there just hasn’t been much to watch from the genre.  So when I discovered that Green was going to be actually developing a sit-com instead, it would be fair to say I was more than a little disappointed by this news.  But then I was given a glimmer of hope when I heard it would be about a pair of struggling horror filmmakers. As a film graduate and a lover of horror, this instantly became something relatable to me.

The first season for Holliston consists of only six episodes and is a bit of a mixed bag for me.  As I mentioned above, it’s about two friends, Adam (Adam Green) and Joe (Joe Lynch) who film bad local TV commercials as well as share hosting duties on their cable horror show.  The two are working at getting a trailer made to help get funding for their first big feature Shinpads.  The guys are simply looking for that big break that will get them out of their home town of Holliston and get their movies up on the big screen.  Every episode is filled with horror references, which fans of the genre should enjoy, but don’t be mistaken, this isn’t horror at all.  In fact the show has a lot of heart in both the romantic as well as the bromantic form.