Disc Reviews

TNT prides itself on “knowing drama,” but as far as I’m concerned the network’s best series was also its most woefully underappreciated. It didn’t have any cops, lawyers or doctors. It wasn’t as light or slick as some of the channel’s hits like The Closer (cops), Franklin & Bash (lawyers) and Rizzoli & Isles (a cop AND a doctor; don’t make me guess which is which). It didn’t have aliens (Falling Skies) or impossibly charismatic crooks (Leverage). Instead, Men of a Certain Age dealt with a topic that is much less fun to think about, yet happens to 100 percent of us: getting older.

I realize a show that deals honestly with aging sounds about as much fun as a colonoscopy. (Coincidentally, the Men embark on a weekend colonoscopy outing in Ep. 6/ “Let the Sunshine In.”) Men of a Certain Age simultaneously celebrates life’s small victories while chronicling its many indignities. Thankfully, the show’s excellent acting, writing and directing keep the material entertaining and genuine.

Shout Factory this week releases a Jackie Chan double feature that I can actually stand behind and say, “Yes, buy this.”  Chan has been churning out movies since the early 60’s, and with a rumored retirement looming, soon we’ll only have his vast catalog of films to gush and cringe over.  Though I think it is safe to say his body could use a break; after all, how many broken bones has this man sacrificed all in the name of cinema?

Crime Story The first on this double bill is the Hong Kong action flick Crime Story.  It opens up with a gang of thugs going through a test run for a kidnapping they plan to do.  The plan is to take their hostage while on the streets, in the open where anything and everything can go wrong.  The test run alone, which ends in a collision, shows the risk the gang is willing to take.  The target happens to be a billionaire, Wong (Law Hang Kang) who already suspects there are men out to kill him, thus introducing Inspector Eddie Chan (Jackie Chan).

Do you realize how much you’re affected by advertising? Branded attempts to answer this question while showing us where our world is headed if the trend continues. Mishka Galkin (Ed Stoppard, The Pianist) is Russia’s advertising whiz kid. When Mishka meets Abby (Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes, The Wicker Man), they immediately become friends, despite the fact that she is the niece of Bob Gibbons (Jeffrey Tambor, TVs Arrested Development, the Hellboy movies), Mishka’s boss. Even though Bob warns him to stay away from Abby, Mishka enters into a personal and professional relationship with her, developing an Extreme Makeover-type show in Russia together. Unfortunately, the show tanks when the woman getting the makeover falls into a coma following her cosmetic surgery.

In the public outcry that follows, Mishka is jailed and Abby is deported. When he gets out after being incarcerated for a few days, Mishka angrily confronts his boss, claiming that Bob used his former CIA contacts to orchestrate the show’s failure so that Abby would leave Russia (and Mishka). During this argument, Bob has a heart attack and dies. Believing his marketing ability is “a curse” harming those around him, Mishka decides to leave the advertising business behind and become a hermit. (The idea that Mishka’s ability is a curse comes from the film’s narrator, who sounds like GLaDOS, the evil computer from Portal.)

Learning your ABCs and 123s are perhaps the most broad and basic themes an educational children's televion show could take.  Nickelodeon offers a roster of their most popular shows (at least, those designed for pre-schoolers) to cover said topics in two seperate DVD releases. Each DVD is virtually identical in structure. There only difference are to particular episodes chosen from each show.

Each release provides more than 2 hours of viewing with a lineup of shows that includes Team Umizoomi, Ni Hao Kai-lan, the strange mini-opera that is Wonder Pets, and the immensely popular Nickelodeon staples Go, Diego Go!, Dora the Explorer, and Blue's Clues. Hopefully the young viewers of these DVDs enjoy diversity as the program never stays the same for more than an episode, save for Team Umizoomi getting two in the "123s" DVD and Wonder Pets getting two in "ABCs."

Erle Stanley Gardner wrote crime fiction, and while many of his 100 or so works are unknown to most of us, he created a character who has become as identified with criminal lawyers as any other in fiction. It was in these crime novels that Perry Mason first faced a courtroom. He developed a style where he would investigate these terrible crimes his clients were on trial for. He would find the real killer, and in what has become a Hollywood cliché, reveal his findings in a crucial moment during the trial. While we may not remember the novels, we all remember the man in the persona of Raymond Burr.  Burr had a commanding presence on our screens and enjoyed a well-deserved 11-year run as the clever lawyer. What makes this run so amazing is that the show followed pretty much the same pattern the entire time. We always know what’s going to happen, but we wait eagerly for that gotcha moment when Perry faces the witness on the stand. We know when he’s got the guy squarely in his sights, and we can’t sit still waiting for him to pull the trigger. OK, so maybe that’s a little over the top, but so was Perry Mason. From the moment you heard that distinctive theme, the stage was set. To say that Perry Mason defined the lawyer show for decades would be an understatement. Folks like Matlock and shows like The Practice are strikingly similar to Perry Mason. If you haven’t checked this show out, this is your chance. See where it all began.

Raymond Burr did not carry the show on his own. There was a very fine cast of supporting characters. The most famous has to be his faithful secretary Della Street, played by Barbara Hale. The two were inseparable. Perry had the help of a good private investigator in the Raymond Chandler style. William Hopper played the tough-as-nails Paul Drake. One of Orson Welles’ famous Mercury Theater Players took on the part of Police Lt. Tragg. Ray Collins starred in Citizen Kane as the political party boss Gettys. He was a fine example of top talent working in television.  Mason was often pitted against prosecutor Hamilton Burger, whose name too often reminded me of hamburgers. There wasn’t anything funny about Burger, however. He was a worthy opponent who drew the short straw most of the time because he was up against Perry Mason. The task was accomplished with a lot of style by William Talman, a one-time evangelistic preacher.

The first time I really observed George Lopez was during his sitcom on ABC, The George Lopez Show. After that first episode, I was hooked and watched every episode religiously up until the departure of Masiela Lusha (the new storylines and the introduction of Aimee Garcia as Lusha’s  replacement caused the show to lose much of its original  appeal). From there I transitioned to his standups specials and his big screen movie appearances. If he was in it, I was there. His routine had a flair. When he talked about how he grew up, you could imagine it as if it was your own life. However, comedy has evolved, and a comedian’s material must evolve with it, something Lopez evidently hasn’t done.

It’s Not Me, It’s You marks Lopez’s third HBO standup special (his ninth standup overall). He kicks it off with a strong opening: driving down the road on his way to his to perform, during which he runs into some familiar faces such as Ray Romano, Eva Longoria, and Conan O’Brien, who all wish him good luck on his show. Also, the entire intro is backed up with his patented theme song, “Low Rider” by War. It is a good opening, always nice to see other celebrities lend a helping hand.

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

We’re now 40 years removed from Bruce Lee’s shocking death, and the martial arts superstar has unequivocally achieved pop culture immortality. I Am Bruce Lee examines the icon’s cultural and cinematic impact, as well as the many ways he has influenced current sports and music stars. The film already bills itself as “the best Bruce Lee documentary ever,” so I’m not really sure what you need me (or any other critic) for. I decided to go ahead and watch it anyway.

"Space... The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before."

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. No, this is not a Charles Dickens review. It very accurately describes the second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The first season went over much better than anyone really expected. The Trek faithful embraced the series and the new characters. It was now time for the show to find its own feet with a second season. Unfortunately, several things went wrong. The Writers’ Guild went out on strike, and that meant no new scripts. Paramount was even talking about getting rid of the series. That was until someone remembered that this was not the first attempt to resurrect Star Trek for the television screen. In the late 1970's Paramount was preparing to launch its "4th" network. The anchor was to be a return of Star Trek, commonly referred to as Star Trek: Phase Two. All of the original cast would return with the notable exception of Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock. The show would basically continue that crew's voyages. Then Star Wars lit the box office on fire. Combined with the scrapping of the network, until later, the television series became Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Spock returned along with two new characters. You might recognize Riker in Decker and, of course, Troi in the Deltan Ilea. The series was no more, but several scripts had been written and shelved. With some tweaking, Star Trek: Phase Two's scripts became Star Trek: The Next Generation's foundation for season two.

Just as I was starting to believe that the vampire movie genre was bankrupt of originality, I am gifted with a film unlike any other vampire film I’ve ever seen. Don’t you just love when that happens? I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t have reservations about this movie going in, especially with it being a sequel to The Hamiltons, a film I had not seen nor heard of before this film made it onto my docket. However all of my reservations subsided within fifteen minutes of pressing the play button. With a title like “The Thompsons” I was expecting it to be nothing more than vamp ripoff of Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, but this film has heart along with the appropriate amount of blood and gore to keep it from becoming too sappy.

 Narrated by Francis Hamilton, the middle child in a family of five, he along with his siblings David, Wendell, Darlene, and Lenny travel a lot. After death of their parents, the family became restless and for years have been on an endless journey to find a permanent place to call home. A place they can be their true selves, a place where they don’t have to hide their “disease” as Francis calls it. The entire family was born vampires, and as vampires they must consume blood to survive. As a result of their affliction, they are unable to settle in one place too long because it would only be a matter of time before they were discovered, hence their constant moving.

What do you do when you have to choose between the law and what is morally right? Lieutenant Danny Sefton (Seth Gabel, TV’s Dirty Sexy Money and Fringe) faces that very problem in Allegiance. Having lost the respect of the men in his command by transferring to a recruiting position right before they are to deploy to Iraq, Sefton faces a crisis of conscience when one of those men — Specialist Chris Reyes (Shad “Bow Wow” Moss, Like Mike, Roll Bounce) — has his non-deployment waiver revoked.

Reyes’ son is sick. However, due to conflicting diagnoses — one says Stage 4 lung cancer; the other chronic asthma — and the fact that he’s the best medic in the company (and they don’t have a replacement), Lieutenant Colonel Owens (Aidan Quinn, Jonah Hex, TV’s Elementary) decides to deploy Reyes. Having exhausted all his options, Reyes tells Sefton he intends to go AWOL and asks for Sefton’s help.