Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 31st, 2012
Anyone who has watched enough of the SyFy original movies has a pretty good idea of what they're getting. The network has made a bit of a name for itself with low-budget to no-budget monster movies. Most of the creatures are mutant and large and appear like they escaped from a bad 1950's drive-in theater. The computer generated stuff usually looks like a kid drew it up on their pocket computer, and the cast is going to be made up of unknowns with a few known names to give the whole thing some street cred. The movies are usually good for a few laughs; some of them might even be intentional. It's all usually harmless fun. But, after watching Jersey Shore Shark Attack I believe that Steven Spielberg must be rolling over in his grave. He's still alive, you say? Wait until he catches this movie on his Tivo. In fact, if he's got it on his Netflix queue, I'm taking Steve in the next dead pool that comes out. Unfairly harsh? A bit too critical? See for yourself, I dare you. I double dog dare you.
The movie is a combination of Jaws meets Jersey Shore meets The Sopranos. And in case you didn't get it yourself, the cast includes Jersey Shore's Vinny Guadagnino in a cameo as a television reporter and The Sopranos’ own Paulie "Walnuts" Tony Sirico in what is basically an extended cameo as a beach club owner.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on August 30th, 2012
It’s impossible for me to discuss what I feel didn’t work in Touchback without talking about the movie’s big plot twist. I’m not even sure it’s accurate to refer to it as a “twist” since it comes in the first half hour and is an essential component of the film. On the other hand, the movie’s official plot description is intentionally vague — for the record, the film’s trailer is considerably more forthcoming — and seems designed to conceal a major part of the story. Having considered all that, I’m only issuing a Mild Spoiler Alert.
Touchback is the story of former high school football hero Scott Murphy (Brian Presley), who led his tiny Coldwater High School team to a state championship in 1991. Unfortunately, Scott shattered his leg when he scored the game-winning touchdown, derailing his collegiate and professional football dreams. Twenty years later, he’s a broken man in more ways than one. He has become a disheveled, bitter soybean farmer who is married to Macy (Melanie Lynskey), the compassionate girl who fell in love with him after his injury, and is jealous of Chris (Marc Blucas), his wildly successful former teammate.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 30th, 2012
George Romero created the modern zombie movie in 1968 with his low-budget masterpiece The Night Of The Living Dead. While we can debate the direction the genre has gone in the last 40 years, it's hard to argue that Romero defined the rules of the game with that first film and the series that followed. And while zombies have been populating the comic scene since the early days of Creepy and Eerie, it took the likes of Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore to give us a compelling interpretation of the Romero zombie in the form of a comic book series. That vision is the foundation for the first effort to populate a television series with zombies as the ongoing antagonists. It took American Movie Classics to have the vision to allow this creative team to dream big and put it all on our television screens on a weekly basis.
The first thing you should know about The Walking Dead is that it's unlike any television series you have ever seen before. The images here are intense, and the crew has been given a blank check to create this vision without the burden of censors looking over their shoulders. There are plenty of blood-and-gore effects that rival any of the Hollywood zombie films you've seen in the last few years. The makeup effects are handled by the very capable hands of KNB and supervised personally by Greg Nicotero (the N from KNB). KNB isn't treating this like a television production, and while I personally get tired of the cliché about making a movie each week, this one lives up to the hype. They aren't doing anything different here than they would do for a big-budget film. The zombies look incredible, and the effects are completely first-rate.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 30th, 2012
Inspectors 81 are back on the tough streets of San Francisco for a fourth season of gritty police work. Remember, these are the same streets Dirty Harry worked during the same decade. There are some memorable moments in this next half season release of “Streets”. In case you don’t know the show, here’s a rundown. Detective “Iron” Mike Stone (Karl Malden) is a seasoned veteran of the San Francisco Police Department. He’s an old-fashioned, no-nonsense detective whose life has taken some bitter turns of late. Much to his aggravation, he gets partnered with Keller (Michael Douglas), a green detective who hasn’t lost his belief that he can make a difference. Together they just might be able to teach each other something. Before long the two develop a teacher/mentor relationship that works well enough to solve the cases and get the bad guys.
If you weren’t around in the 1970’s, you might be surprised to find out that film superstar Michael Douglas was once in a television cop show. It was this influential crime drama that allowed Douglas to show off the acting chops that would earn him a spot in the Hollywood elite for decades to come. It didn’t hurt any that he was able to team up with Karl Malden, an undervalued talent in his own right. The two of them bring the show to life. The series was run by Quinn Martin, himself no stranger to groundbreaking television. Martin was the same talent who created the crime drama with The Untouchables. His uncanny ability to come up with a clever premise was responsible for such milestones in television history as The Invaders and The Fugitive. Later he would continue to shape the look of television with shows like Tales Of The Unexpected, The FBI, and Most Wanted. He was the Steven Bochco of his time. Long before NYPD Blue, Martin was able to make San Francisco, the city itself, an iatrical character for Malden and Douglas to interact with. The show had tremendous style, even if the cases were purely formula. Certainly you won’t find anything in these plots you haven’t seen a hundred times before. What you will find is a unique presentation that somehow makes even the most mundane story appear quite compelling. If you enjoy the Bochco and Wolf dramas or fall in with such classics as Starsky and Hutch or Miami Vice, you owe a tremendous debt to Martin for setting the table for all of those fantastic meals that would follow.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by M. W. Phillips on August 29th, 2012
“We decided to tour round Serbia. We’ll go to villages. It will be interesting to see farmers’ reactions to our sexual provocations. Sexual education for Serbs. Widening the horizons. This is our guerilla mission.”
I like to think I am not a prude. My taste in film runs to the controversial, and I don’t shy away from extreme cinema. I think Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom and Caligula are masterpieces; A Serbian Film impressed and affected me, although I have no intention of watching it again. Even the brief inserts of hardcore porn in “mainstream” movies like Shortbus, Antichrist, Brown Bunny or the previously mentioned Caligula don’t offend me, but I must admit I found The Life and Death of a Porno Gang unpleasant and soulless.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Brent Lorentson on August 29th, 2012
After solar storms ravage the earth causing the soil to overheat and scorch our forests, the few who survive are left in a barren wasteland that stretches across the globe. The concept is an impressive one to explain the desert world we are first introduced to in the opening moments of Hell, though what’s more impressive is how this low-budget, post-apocalyptic film managed this look with simple camera tricks. With Roland Emmerich involved as executive producer, you may be expecting big-budget recreations of famous landmarks exploding and wiped away in a giant tidal wave. Instead what you get with Hell is an intimate tale of two sisters struggling to survive in a world where their hope rests in simply finding a small part of the world where water is readily available.
When we first meet Marie (Hannah Herzsprung) and Leonie (Lisa Vicari) they are passengers travelling along an empty stretch of highway with newspapers taped over the windows with only a hole large enough for the driver, Phillip, to see out of. Stopping at what remains of a gas station, our trio of survivors scavenge the place for gas and any supplies to take with them. It’s here that they encounter Tom, a mechanic who offers his skills in exchange for some cans of peaches and to join them on their journey into the mountains to find water.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Brent Lorentson on August 29th, 2012
It’s not often, if ever that you’ll find me looking forward to a Hallmark Channel movie. I have nothing against a good romance or sappy family dramas; it’s just that guys for the most part are not the target demographic. To get to the point, this film is the chick flick guys fear being made to watch after losing the battle at the Red Box when all the other appealing titles are out and the wife or girlfriend is in no mood for action. But thankfully the film isn’t all bad, and in fact it’s actually decent with the exception of a few clichés along the way.
Vivian (Jane Seymour) and Ray (Jeff Fahey) are living the dream after 30-plus years of marriage and still happily in love. Together they live along the shore of Smith Mountain Lake where they have built the home of their dreams. Everything is great till one morning Ray sets off to go fishing and ends up blowing himself up when trying to grill some fish along the shore. This devastates the small town and the family, causing Sara (Scottie Thompson) to return to Virginia while she is in the middle of a making a deal that is sure to make her partner at her law firm in Los Angeles. It’s been years since Sara has been back, but nothing has changed but her. With Lily (Madeline Zima), her younger sister, Sara does what she can to get through the funeral as fast as she can so she can return to LA and make partner. Of course Lily can’t understand why Sara always resented living in the small town, and Vivian feels nothing more than an inconvenience to her daughter ,so of course grief and tension bring them to argue and then move on to tears.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 28th, 2012
"This is where society dumps its worst nightmares."
In 1978 John Carpenter created a landmark horror film in Halloween. While it certainly can't be called the first slasher film, it was absolutely the first commercially successful slasher movie and set up the pattern that we're still following today. Carpenter created a new kind of Hollywood monster: the mindless human-shaped killing machine. Michael Myers with his William Shatner rubber mask would eventually give birth to the likes of Jason and Freddy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 28th, 2012
"They should ban Halloween in this town."
By the time we got to the 5th installment of the Halloween film franchise, there might have been fans thinking it might be time to ban its sequels. Even the return of young Danielle Harris and Donald Pleasence couldn't save this train wreck of a movie. It ranks as the worst of all 10 Halloween films at the box office and has been conveniently forgotten by the fans of the franchise. Yes, it even made less money than Season Of The Witch. It looks like we're about to be reminded of just how horrible horror can really be.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 27th, 2012
When you see a cast that includes names like Robert DeNiro and Forest Whitaker, you have justifiable high expectations for a solid experience. Add 50 Cent to the mix and past experience will tell you that not even a teaming of Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino can save the picture. The rapper-turned-actor has certainly found himself cast with enough Academy Award power that the transition should have been more successful than it has been. The fact is that 50 Cent hasn't appeared to have learned anything from rubbing elbows with so many Oscar statues. Freelancers is another example of a bad actor bringing down considerably better talent to a less than mediocre range.
Malo (50 Cent) is a street kid who has had a few scrapes with the law growing up. He's a child of the streets, but he and two of his street friends managed to clean up their lives enough to enter the police academy. Now he's graduated and following in his dead father's footsteps. He's immediately taken under the wing of his father's old partner Captain Joseph Sarcone (DeNiro). Suddenly he skips directly to plainclothes and introduced to his "birthright", a world of elite corrupt cops led by Sarcone.
