Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 12th, 2015
"It's the guy next door, guy who sits too close in the theater, maybe even at church. Plain, ordinary, the everyday man. That's the guy they should be afraid of. 'Cause they never see him coming."
Or maybe the friendly neighborhood barber. Max Enscoe's screenplay for The Barber appears to touch on those fears. We've all seen those interviews with neighbors and friends after a particularly heinous killer is finally caught. He was quiet. Always went to church.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on April 22nd, 2015
“A vigilante is simply somebody who violates the law in order to punish a criminal for what they believe is right, for what they believe is justice.”
It’s easy to understand the appeal of big screen vigilante justice. We’ve all gotten tangled up in red tape, which is why it’s so gratifying to watch somebody tear through it. (And often spray some red elsewhere.) John Doe: Vigilante ends up being as ludicrous as any of the 17 Death Wish movies, but it also goes beyond putting the entire blame on “the system.” There are some interesting ideas at play here, including the notion that there’s a little Vigilante in all of us.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on July 31st, 2014
The impending death of a loved one tends to dredge up a complex mix of emotions. (Unfortunately, I speak from relatively recent personal experience.) In addition to the obvious sadness, there can be guilt, resentment, anger, relief, and other sentiments that combine to create a messy stew of feelings. Putting those feelings on the page or on a screen is an emotional minefield, since you risk veering jarringly from one tone to the next. The task becomes even trickier when you attempt to introduce humor into the equation. Lullaby stumbles over a few of those mines, but is otherwise a well-acted, modestly-affecting dramedy.
The movie opens with a close up of Lowenstein family black sheep Jonathan (Garrett Hedlund) taking a long, luxurious drag off a cigarette. Soon enough, we learn the gesture functions as a middle finger on a couple of different levels. On one hand, Jonathan is smoking on an airplane lavatory, which almost gets him arrested by a strict flight attendant. On top of that, it turns out Jonathan is on his way to visit his well-to-do New York City family because his father Robert (Richard Jenkins) is dying of lung cancer.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on June 2nd, 2014
The tagline for Beyond the Trophy definitively states that “Power is the only thing that matters.” Well, having watched this low-budget cops and kingpins crime drama, I humbly disagree. The film strives to tell a story about the violent perils of all-consuming power. Unfortunately, Beyond the Trophy forgot to include some of the stuff that matters to movie-watchers: things like “focused storytelling”, “coherent action sequences”, and “fresh characters.”
The film opens “somewhere in the Caribbean” where a hitman catches up to lounging, unsuspecting Danny (Michael Masini). The action then flashes back seven months to show us how Danny ended up with a gun pointed at him on a tropical beach.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on January 28th, 2014
“Stonados...I'll be damned.”
They say if you're going to steal, you should steal from the best. Well, that's the exact opposite of what SyFy has done with the hilariously shameless act of self-cannibalization known as Stonados. Say what you will about Sharknado — and snarky commenters excitedly blew up Twitter shortly after its premiere — but at least that particular slice of premium B-movie cheese was inspired in its lunacy and stupidity. Stonados, on the other hand, is pretty obviously a way for the network to capitalize on the unexpected heat generated this past summer by the perfect shlock storm of Sharknado.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on December 30th, 2013
“Violence is never the answer.”
That statement is said unironically by a character in Sweetwater, but we know better; in the movies, violence is pretty much always the answer. This is especially true when it comes to the revenge genre which, the films of Quentin Tarantino notwithstanding, is largely a man’s game. (Risk-averse Hollywood studios are much less likely to greenlight WoMan on Fire.) This bloody, straightforward Western from twin filmmakers Logan and Noah Miller is not terribly original, but it does try to put its own spin on the hallowed tradition of cinematic payback.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on October 29th, 2013
The world of Bounty Killer is a barren wasteland that has been decimated by the unchecked greed of nefarious corporations. In other words, I can’t believe this movie is only set 20 years in the future! I’m not the kind of guy who uses exclamation points very often, so the fact that I threw one at the end of the previous sentence wasn’t an accident. This silly, stylish, thoroughly enjoyable revenge fantasy/satiric action flick is basically one giant exclamation point in movie form.
“The bounty killers compete for body count, fame, and a fat stack of cash.”
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on June 18th, 2013
The pint-size heroes of The Dragon Pearl battle greedy thieves and come face to face with a centuries-old dragon, but their biggest challenge may be overcoming a pair of skeptical/clueless parents. It’s a familiar plot device in kid-centric adventures, yet it’s one I’m becoming more sensitive to as I get older. For example, I was absolutely sure at an early age that the bumbling Wet Bandits were the bad guys in Home Alone; however, as I’ve grown older and not-necessarily wiser, I realize the real villains are the nincompoops who left little Kevin McCallister behind in the first place. To be fair, the parents in this film are being asked to swallow a much more fantastical story.
The Dragon Pearl opens with a prologue about an ancient Chinese emperor who enlisted a celestial dragon’s power to help him fend off warring tribes. The source of the dragon’s power is the titular pearl, which is said to be lost in the heat of the battle. In the present day, we're introduced to sullen Australian teen Josh (Louis Corbett) and outgoing Chinese teen Ling (Li Lin Jin). Josh and Ling are meeting up with their respective parents, Dr. Chris Chase (Sam Neill) and Dr. Li (Wang Ji), on what Josh assumes will be a boring archeological dig in China. (He should've known better: having Sam Neill at an archeological dig is a recipe for excitement.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on December 13th, 2012
A small mining community in Western Australia get visited by a vagabond dog. This Red Dog (named after the fact that the red dust of that desert region stained his fur that colour) has a deeply significant effect on every worker's life yet not one of them can truly claim to own him until an American bus driver begins working there. Red Dog was a big fan of hitchhiking across the country and seems to be attracted to riding great distances on a bus with his new best (human) friend.
I should have known what I was getting into when I saw that this was a dog story. All the best dog films are incredibly sad. This film was based on true events and its saddest portions include heavy references to the saddest (true) dog story of all time (nope, not Old Yeller), Hachi-ko, the story of a dog that waits for his master after they have died (was adapted twice onto film, as well as laid out the groundwork for the most depressing episode of Futurama “Jurassic Bark”). The story begins with miners resolving that they cannot shoot Red Dog after he ate poison, but this is not the saddest part. Over half way through the audience gets an emotional kick to the throat that I, for one, was not prepared for. By no means is this a criticism of their storytelling, more a warning to those that may think they're in for a family-ready delight (ok...they ARE but certainly not without a box of tissues as a prerequisite).
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on September 27th, 2012
If the phrase “You got served” only conjures up images of wait staff or a notice to appear in court, then Battlefield America may not be for you. The film comes “from the writer, director and creator of You Got Served” — the hip hop-flavored dance drama that became a modest hit in 2004 — but offers up a child-centric twist. For fans of You Got Served, the best way to enjoy this inferior film may be to pretend the dancers in that movie were tragically shrunk down to kid size.
Sean Lewis (Marques Houston) is a successful and arrogant agent at a Los Angeles marketing firm. After celebrating a professional victory, he gets busted for DUI and sentenced to perform 120 hours of community service. His lawyer gets him a supposedly cushy gig working at an inner-city community center run by the impossibly attractive Sarah Miller (Mekia Cox). Sarah tasks Sean with teaching a group of misfits how to dance in preparation for the prestigious Battlefield America dance battle. (At least we learn the title refers to the competition and not a misguided sequel to Battlefield Earth.) The fact that Sean can’t dance and hates kids (of course he does) doesn’t seem to matter to anyone.
