"Get ready for six hours of cartoons."

Try around six days if you can binge them all. We're talking about 300 hours of Simpsons cartoons in the can. The longest running show in prime time doesn’t feature cops, doctors, or lawyers. It’s hard to believe that The Simpsons have existed as long as the Fox network. While the series didn’t really begin until Fox’s second year, the characters were part of The Tracey Ullman Show, which did start the first year of Fox. Who could have guessed that an animated short from an otherwise horrible and doomed variety show would explode into such a phenomenon? The Simpsons have not only dominated the pop culture; they have placed everything else into context with their show. Like Doonesbury, it could be said that the only thing worse than being made fun of on The Simpsons is not being made fun of on The Simpsons. With that said, you’ll understand my warm feelings and appreciation for this show.

Well, I’m not fully sure how to put my experience with Killerman into words, but I will give it my best shot. The feeling that comes to mind is confused. It just seem to be a lot of different things thrown at me at once. Liam Hemsworth is introduced as Moe Diamond, a small-time money launderer partnering with the nephew of a powerful crime boss; the nephew chaffs under the thumb of his uncle, and it is very clear that he is the less intelligent one of the partnership. Moe is level-headed and appears to have an elegant system in place for laundering money through his jewelry business. The nephew, who goes by the name Skunk, played by Emery Cohen, is clearing only involved because of his connection to his uncle. Needless to say, I imagine you can see where this is going, I mean, we have only seen it dozens of times in other movies, but I’ll go ahead and repeat it for posterity: the uncle gives the boys the opportunity at a big-time score; the pair get wind of a too-good-to-be-true drug dealing opportunity, and decide to use the uncle’s cash to front the deal. As expected the deal really does turn out to be too good to be true, leading Moe and Skunk to be on the run from a dirty cop when they escape the deal with both the cash and the money. To the film’s credit, this is the extent of the movie’s predictability, as matters take an unexpected turn.

While escaping their pursuers, the pair has a very bad accident, resulting in Moe developing amnesia. I know I said predictive stuff was over, but this aspect does have an interesting twist. Normally, when presenting this kind of plot, the rest of the film is spent delving into the protagonist attempting to solve the mystery of who he really is. Killerman deviates from that trend, because we have a buddy to explain to Moe exactly who he is. That aside, he still goes through the expected emotions of confusion attached to a self-identity crisis. Though his circumstance is quite tragic, I was never able to form any kind of investment into this character. He was just too unhinged for me. He was initially interesting; he was clever and clearly had some loyal friends, but there was always something about his personality that was shrouded in mystery.

When it comes to movies that come from the The Asylum film company, you need to go into the film with the bar set pretty low. When I say low, a Troma film is nearly high art by comparison.  By some miracle their film Sharknado has found an audience, but for all the wrong reasons.  I can appreciate a cheesy B monster film; even a no-budget horror or action film can hold my interest. All I ask for is a decent story and I can forgive a film’s low budget or amateurish quality. But sometimes a movie comes along that is so bad it’s hard to find its redeeming qualities. D-Day: Battle of Omaha Beach is that film, and I can say with certainty that this is the worst film that I’ve seen this year.  It’s one thing to be a bad film, but what bothered me most about this film is how shameless it is about simply making a buck off of the lives of soldiers who actually fought in WWII.  You don’t need the budget of Saving Private Ryan to tell a good story about the war; all you need is a good story, a decent script, and some creativity, and you can make a good film.

The film is based on a true story about a group of soldiers who are sent behind enemy lines to take out some heavy-duty machine gun nests. The appeal of a “guys on a war mission” film is something I’m always willing to give a shot. The Dirty Dozen and Inglorious Bastards are two of the best films in the sub-genre, but there have been numerous films that take place in a variety of different wars. Really, it’s hard to not make a fun film in this sub-genre.  The problem is that nothing about this film is believable.  The film opens as the soldiers are prepping for the Normandy invasion; this was a huge battle that resulted in 1,000 deaths.  As for this film’s attempt to bring this battle to life, well, it looks as though it were nothing more than a minor brawl that got out of control.  Then there are the CGI ships. Really, it appears as though no attempt was made to make this look believable, but then again, while watching the invasion you’ll see numerous palm trees…I’m pretty sure there are no palm trees in France.  The costumes are a mess. I’m pretty sure I saw patches that were not properly sewn on, and then there is my favorite bit: to mark the obvious Nazi foxholes, there are big Nazi flags draped around the opening.  There is so much more to groan over, but this is only thirty minutes in.