The idea of traveling out into the middle of nowhere, surrounded by snow and with no running water or toilet around, is not my idea of a nice vacation.  In fact, being a former Eagle Scout, just hearing about camping is enough to recall nights of sleeping on the hard ground, in the cold with rocks and sticks being stabbed into my back while trying to sleep.  It’s not that I hate the outdoors; I’ve simply grown to appreciate the niceties of life, and if getting in touch with nature means mosquito bites, I’ll stick with the motel 8 and enjoy the view from my room.  This being said, when I see a film like The Frozen where a couple from the city decides to go camping, in the middle of nowhere and in the snow no less, I already suspect this cannot possibly end well.

When we first meet Emma (Brit Morgan), she’s locked away in the bathroom waiting for the results of a pregnancy test to come through.  At this point when she discovers she is pregnant, she should have put a stop to this insane trip; with one responsible decision she could have prevented the entire horrible mess that awaits her, but alas, had she been wise, we never would have had much of a film to watch.  Her long time boyfriend, Mike (Seth David Mitchell), has been planning this special trip for some time and has picked this frozen tundra over the warm sun, where Emma had hoped their vacation would be.  But Emma knows how much this trip means to Mike, so she swallows all common sense, and the two set out for their adventure.

“My name is Marty Kaan, and I’m a management consultant. Every week, my team and I go somewhere and talk people into thinking they really, really need us.”

With that kind of opener, I was fully expecting House of Lies to be a darker, edgier, less ethical Leverage.  The sort of show where the main character is a loveable rogue whose failings are excusable because he’s just so gosh-darn charming. That notion was quickly dispelled, however, the minute the pilot opens with Marty (Don Cheadle) waking up in bed with a woman and freaking out about it. We learn the reason for his panic when he tells us (via breaking the fourth wall) the woman is his ex-wife. Marty’s problems only get worse from there. His ten year-old son, Roscoe, is a cross-dresser and wants the role of Sandy in his school’s production of Grease. Marty’s father is constantly telling him how to run his life, and his ex-wife (also a consultant) seems hell-bent on not only stealing Marty’s clients, but their son as well. All of these things would be enough to send anyone screaming to therapy, but Marty internalizes everything and channels it into his work. At work, Marty is ruthless, doing whatever he can to manipulate the client into spending more money on his services. His team, while not as experienced as Marty, is just as ruthless. There’s Jeannie, Marty’s second-in-command, who’s not above using her feminine assets to charm and distract a client. Clyde and Doug are like a crude Abbott and Costello, cracking jokes (usually about women or each other) and spinning numbers and data to their advantage.  They may not have morals, but if you want your business turned around, these are the people to call.