Posts by Brent Lorentson

Can someone please explain to me what happened to Val Kilmer?  I can remember the days when he was an A-list celebrity and in some of the highest grossing films of the 90s.  He was the Iceman in Top Gun, Doc Holiday in Tombstone, and he even put on the cape and cowl for Batman Forever.  My point is that at one time the name Val Kilmer actually meant something to a film, but any more it seems he has disappeared into obscurity, and that bothers me.  Sure, the famous can’t rule the top forever, but Kilmer still has the acting chops and deserves a career revival; his part in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang goes down as one of my favorite P.I. roles on the big screen.  Sure people have every right to disagree with me, but I’m certain that everyone can agree he deserves better than being in 7 Below.

The film kicks off in a home in the middle of nowhere.  A mother is trying to get her children settled for bed when her foster child ends up slaughtering her and the rest of the family.  It’s not a bad start, but this is nothing the average horror fan hasn’t seen before.  The film jumps ahead a hundred years to present day where five strangers are stuffed in a shuttle bus on vacation.  Following a stop at the gas station the shuttle bus is back on the road where everything is fine till a lady in a white dress appears in the middle of the road causing the bus to swerve off the road and into a tree.   With one dead driver and a nasty storm on the way our strangers are rescued by Jack (Ving Rhames) who kindly offers to bring them home so they can use his phone and get out of the storm.  But we know something just isn’t right about Jack or the ominous storm lurking in the distance.

For over twenty years Patton Oswalt has been working the comedy stand-up circuit, and with his fourth full length album being released on DVD he shows no signs of stopping.  Over the years I’ve found myself becoming a fan of Oswalt’s work.  Most fans may know him from King of Queens and as the voice of Remy in the Pixar film Ratatouille. 

Though his tour was under the title Finest Hour, I don’t believe this to be his best act, but it is still filled with its fair share of laughs.  With bits covering the super powers Jesus has, gay stereotypes in romantic comedies, and man’s greatest creation being sweat pants, the hour long special covers a lot of territory with not too many low points.  For me this act, though amusing, just didn’t have the belly laughs I expected considering after all I have watched and rewatched his acts before and knew what to expect.

Back in 2009 comedian Jo Koy had his first comedy central special Don’t Make Him Angry and it made him a comedy star.  I had caught his previous special on comedy central and had seen him do spots on the late night circuit, so I somewhat knew what I was getting into.  I have to say, though, I was more than a little surprised how much he’s improved with time.  Not to say he needed improvement before , but it seems with Lights Out he’s hit his stride and has polished himself, and he simply just knows how to work a room.

He comes onto the stage, and instead of coming out swinging with joke after joke he engages his audience with stories about his Filipino family and life.  A good portion of the show involves the relationship he has with his mother.  Whether she’s warning him about “ruppies” being given out at the bar or not helping him find his keys, Koy is able to find the humor in the story and run with it.  Some of the stories with his mother seem a bit over the top, especially one revolving around her grabbing his penis, but it is impossible not to laugh at the horror and awkwardness of the story.

To just look at the cover of this DVD you would expect this would be your average run-of-the-mill talking animal kids’ film.  Instead Animals United comes off as a call to arms for children to save the planet before it is too late.  I could say how this movie suffers from having a weak script filled with the same characters we’ve seen from dozens of children’s films before, but that would just be too easy.  Instead I want to praise this film, for while it lacked originality I appreciate the boldness of the message they are trying to send.

The film introduces us to several animals spread out across the globe and how their environment is simply being destroyed around them.  There is a polar bear that falls through the ice as the ice shelves crumble around him.  A pair of turtles need to flee their home after a tanker crashes spilling oil onto the shores of their island.  A kangaroo and Tasmanian devil barely escape a brush fire started from a biker’s disregard for his trash.   The main focus of the story revolves around a family of meerkats in desperate need of water after all the water in the savannah has seemed to have dried up.  We meet them all in the opening minutes of the film, and already I was depressed and felt the need to recycle more.

When I first got this DVD I really had no idea what to expect.  The title of the stand-up act, That’s How I Dooz It, didn’t inspire much confidence in this comedian I knew nothing about.  Instead of checking him out online and getting a feel for the guy, I decided to risk it and go in with a blank slate; after all, it’s only 60 minutes and can’t be that bad.  So I slid the DVD in the player and got comfy.

Right from the start JB Smoove knows how to make an entrance.  He comes out with his hip-hop theme That’s How I Dooz It, and  he is full of energy as he explains to the crowd how much he loves the song and how it  is perfect for nearly every occasion.  He goes on to act out a police chase while driving a stagecoach as the theme plays on.  His expressions alone were enough to get me laughing from the start.  On stage with him is a microphone stand and a metal chair; both are used as props throughout the performance, and it shocks me how many uses one man can find for a chair.

Through the course of time Hollywood has given us a fair share of great sports films.  There are even a few baseball films out there I’m sure are on several people’s all time favorite lists.  Personally I’m a fan of The Sandlot, and I recently discovered Eight Men Out. I wouldn’t say I’m a baseball fan, and to be honest I haven’t watched an entire game in years, but yet I do love a good baseball movie.  I mention this only because after watching Screwball, I seriously will be content never to watch a sports comedy again after the bad taste this left in my mouth.

This mockumentary follows the rise and fall of the great waffle ball player Ted Whitfield.  His rise was during the baseball strike in ’94 and as fans turned to waffle ball to fill their baseball void, Whitfield sets out to break the homerun record.  Over the course of the film we see Whitfield get involved with enhancement drugs, heavy drinking, and even dabbling into porn.  A high point of the film involves Whitfield passing on his cup to his loyal team member Willie Hamilton after winning a big game.  Sadly the day after Whitfield smashes the homerun record he is arrested for a DUI on a riding mower, and things just crumble from there.  Once a blood test is done and it is discovered Whitfield took enhancement drugs, he is banned from the league for life.

The Toxic Avenger is the film most film fans would be familiar with, but Troma has made its name in putting out over-the-top gory exploitation cinema.   KILL belongs right up there with the best of the worst that Troma is known for.  Unfortunately for us it takes nearly an hour to get to the juicy gore-soaked goodness.

When six strangers wake up in a mysterious house, they have to work together to start putting together the pieces as to how they got there and most importantly why.  The set up is nothing unique but certainly can be a fun one.  Instead of fun or creepy, we get bad dialog and even worse acting as the characters stumble along room to room trying to find a way out.  It doesn’t take long for the six strangers to learn they are being watched as they find several surveillance cameras throughout the house.