Disc Type

Oh...you were expecting Prince Charming?”

Shrek really did pick the absolute perfect time to emerge from his swamp. The 2001 computer animated sensation from Dreamworks arrived just as rival studio Disney was winding down its decade-long hot streak of hand-drawn new classics like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King. In other words, it was the ideal moment for someone to come along and take shots at cartoon musicals and fairy tales that end with “Happily Ever After.” (Shrek's biggest target, however, was probably the Mouse House itself.) But how does the movie play 15 years later? Fortunately, Fox and Dreamworks have released a new Anniversary Edition to help us figure out the answer.

I wrote about The Facts Of Life before (Season 7 in October 2015 and Season 8 in February of 2016). The final season (Season 9) made it one of the longest-running sitcoms up to that time. It was never a number one show, but was consistently popular over the years. There is no George Clooney (Clooney had moved on to Rosanne) in the final season, or Charlotte Rae (who was just tired and left in Season 7). The focus in Season 9 was on the four girls, Blair Warner (Lisa Welchel), Jo Polniaczek (Nancy Mckeon), Natalie Green (Mindy Cohen), and Dorothy ‘Tootie’ Ramsay (Kim Fields), because they were growing up and becoming adults. This led to the whole season being a lead-up to potential spinoffs. They did introduce a new young character, Pippa Mckenna (Sherri Austin), who was a feisty part exchange student/part runaway from Australia. Cloris Leachman returned after joining in Season 8 as the replacement house mother. Mackenzie Austin also returned as the precocious Andy Moffett. But the focus on the girls was about them growing up and moving on. Engagements, marriages, premarital sex, adult jobs, college, and moving to new locations were part of the main storylines of the final season. The Facts of Life was originally a spinoff of the popular Different Strokes. The whole focus of the final season was could The Facts of Life be spun off? One episode had Natalie moving to New York to live with roommates including Richard Greco and David Spade. In another episode, Blair purchases their old school, Eastland, which included student cast members Juliette Lewis, Mayim Bialik, and Seth Green

All the girls were essentially adults and all had serious boyfriends. We finally got to see the mysterious Snake (Robert Romanus from Fast Times at Ridgemont High), the fabled boyfriend of Natalie, which was the focus of the parental warning episode. Jo developed a relationship with a somewhat unstable former pianist, Rick Bonner (Scott Bryce), which bounced in uncomfortable directions. Blair seemed to finally find a match in someone who was her complete opposite, Casey Clark (Paul Provenza), but eventually her somewhat inflexible nature seemed to work against her. ‘Tootie’ seemed to have a secure sense of herself and pursued her dreams of marriage and career in a clear-headed manner.

“Hello boys…I’m baaaaaack!”

You probably know that Independence Day — the spectacular, shameless sci-fi smash that introduced the world to “Will Smith, Global Superstar” — dropped a sequel last month. What you may not know is that the original film has been granted a 20th Anniversary Blu-ray and UHD release. I was 13 when ID4 came out in the summer of 1996, which means the movie’s deluxe destruction and alien shoot-em-up antics were right in my wheelhouse. So I was curious as to how an older and wiser, um, taller version of me would feel watching it with a critical eye.

"I don't know if it's a demon or a devil, or just some hungry thing from some dark place in time. I just know it's not going to stop coming after you or anyone else it wants to. 'Cos once it has the scent of something it likes, it can't be stopped." 

Just days before the tragic events of 9/11 brought so much real-life horror into our lives, Victor Salva attempted to resurrect some old-school monster movie magic on the movie-going public. The low-budget thriller hit the box office with a bang. Its $13 million opening weekend was a record for Labor Day and is partly responsible for studios taking a closer look at the traditionally slow release weekend. It was the #1 film, beating out sequels to both Rush Hour and American Pie. Unfortunately for all of us, 9/11 fell upon us, and box office numbers tanked. We had other things on our minds. The last thing the American public wanted suddenly was to be scared... we already were. Still, that strong opening weekend was a signal that monster movies might be back, and Jeepers Creepers might be the film to lead the genre into the 21st century. 

We’ve all heard and seen the story before; a family loses a loved one and consumed with grief they meddle with unknown forces to see their loved ones again.  The Monkey’s Paw is one of my favorite stories that cover the topic. I’m sure everyone at some point had to read this short story in school.  Having read the story and seen the numerous films that have covered the topic, you’d think by now people would have learned to not mess with forces they don’t understand.  The Other Side of the Door is the new paranormal horror film to cover the subject, and it seems people still just haven’t learned. Is the film worth taking a look to see what lies beyond the door, or is this one better left alone?

After taking a trip to India, Maria (Sarah Wayne Callies) and Michael (Jeremy Sisto) love the country so much that they decide to move and raise a family there.  The family seems to be doing well; they eventually have a son, Oliver (Logan Creran) and a daughter Lucy (Sofia Rosinsky).  Everything seems to be great till there is a tragic car accident where Maria is faced with losing Oliver after being unable to free him from the car as it becomes submerged in a river.  Of course grief and guilt overwhelm her, and with good intentions a maid at their home refers Maria to a temple where she can perform a ritual and say a proper goodbye to her son.  Only there is a rule: don’t open the door no matter what you hear.  Well, we wouldn’t have much of a movie if she’d followed the rules. Besides, in these films the characters do nothing but make terrible decisions while we look on from the comfort of our seat shaking our heads about their foolish choices.

"What does sex have to do with criminal law?"

Shonda Rhimes pretty much has an answer for that. It doesn't matter if it's a hospital or a law firm, Rhimes knows how to interject the musical-beds routine about as well as anyone can. Of course, it's really Peter Nowalk who is the creator and showrunner for How To Get Away With Murder, but while Nowalk might be driving the bus, Rhimes’ touch can be found in every corner of the sophomore ABC series. It's a formula that appears to work for both Rhimes and the ABC network which finds her first hit, Grey's Anatomy, just finishing its 11th season. I guess you can't argue with success. Let's see if I can argue with How To Get Away With Murder Season 2.

With the summer in full swing it’s time dust off those swimsuits and enjoy getting some sun with friends and family.  For those of you who want to avoid the bugs and heat, well, you can always crank up the AC and enjoy a film or two.  But if you’re staying inside with your Corona or whatever your drink of choice is, you’ll be sadly missing out on all the bikini-clad babes who will be lying out by the pool or beaches. No need to fret, because I think I have just about the next best thing, All American Bikini Car Wash.  Sure, go ahead, roll your eyes and think I’m nuts, but if you’re looking for a fun little movie to watch alone, or with friends while throwing back some drinks, this is the film for you.  And even better, this is a film you don’t have to feel weird about or hide from your girlfriend while watching, because it actually has a charming little story to go along with it.

Jack (Jack Cullison) is your average college guy who’s been enjoying the college life too much, and as a result he’s lost his job and is failing his business class.  To make ends meet he’s having his friends stay at the house with him and having them pay rent, though his father believes Jack is doing nothing more than making the home a frat house. As a favor to Jack’s father Professor Dugan (Tom McLaren) Jack runs his carwash as a way to make extra credit and get some business experience as well.  But what does Jack know about running a car wash?  It’s Vex (Jason Lockhart), the less business-savvy and sex-crazed friend crashing at the house who comes up with the plan to utilize their beautiful friends to strap on bikinis and wash the cars.

After a tidy, 20-year gap between making 1978’s Days of Heaven and 1998’s The Thin Red Line, director Terrence Malick has morphed into a regular workaholic. Since 2005, the enigmatic filmmaker has cranked out a whopping (for him) four movies, including 2015’s Knight of Cups. Malick’s most recent effort strikes many of the same lyrical, dazzling, and confounding notes as Tree of Life, which is the best-received film from the director’s surprisingly prolific recent run. But while Knight of Cups undeniably has glimmers of grand beauty and ambition, it mostly plays as if someone made a spot-on parody of a Terrence Malick film.

“All these years…living the life of someone I didn’t even know.”

American football has been making the news of late, and not just in the sports pages. For the last couple of years there has been an increasing concern for players’ safety. From our president declaring he wouldn't let his fictional son play the game to the hard-hitting Will Smith film Concussion, football has taken some heat over its violent nature. Players are retiring early, and the subject of life after football becomes more of a social question than ever before. That's where HBO's Ballers comes in. It's a half-hour look at the NFL from the player perspective, both current and retired. It's intended as a light bit of dramedy, and it certainly is that. Even so, the series doesn't hide from some of the brutal realities of the sport, from the trappings of fame and fortune to the realities of its eventual end.

Meet Spencer Strasmore, played by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Spencer was a star defensive player for the Miami Dolphins. In his retirement years he has joined a financial advisor firm, teaming up with buddy Joe, played by Rob Corddry. Together they are charged with getting their NFL buddies to sign up with the firm. What Spencer ends up being is a fixer to his former friends and clients, mostly trying to help them get out of their own way. All the while he's haunted by a hard hit he delivered that ended the career of a Bills player years earlier. He's still having flashbacks. He's also concerned that he might have suffered head trauma in his years playing football. Finally through the pleas of girlfriend and sports journalist Tracy (Kebbel), he gets himself checked out. It's all in a day's work for Spencer.

It is with a rather heavy heart that I give this film a low rating, because it really has so much going for it. The concept of having several psychopaths escape from an asylum, only to slaughter the patrons of a horror-themed amusement park has a lot of potential when you think about it. During the times when horror attractions such as Halloween Horror Nights have become so popular, it’s hard to believe that a film like this hasn’t already been made. (Perhaps one has, but I have not heard of one yet.) Regardless, the film is pitched as a horror comedy, which is a genre that can easily lose control of itself. Predictably, I would have been much more satisfied without the comedic elements put into the film.

The plot of the film is introduced by Robert Englund, who plays a warden of an asylum that harbors five dangerous psychopaths, including Mental Manny (Jere Burns) and the Taxidermist (Clint Howard). The criminals escape and find their way to a horror-themed carnival on opening night, and they begin killing people. A group of teenagers/young adults leave work to attend this attraction, but realize that things are not as they seem. As always, it is up to the virgin to save the bullies (her friends) and herself from the impending slaughter.