Hardbodies is a sex comedy; there is no other way of putting it. This is a hard R movie; I wasn’t really expecting that. However, between the gratuitous nudity, there is a love story unfolding, and to be honest, the other subplots are secondary to this point. Not exactly my kind of film, mainly due to it being from before my time, but I still found it to be moderately entertaining. Needless to say, this is more of a guys’ movie, as I don’t know of a woman who would not have an opinion or two about this movie, especially given the current climate. Then again, Fast Times at Ridgemont High remains a classic to this day. I’m not putting this on that same level, but in my opinion it deserves a fair shake and to be paid the respect of the time period.

Scotty is your typical California beach bum, doing whatever he can to get along. That is until he is evicted from his apartment for not paying his rent. Down on his luck, desperate to maintain his way of life, he soon finds three older men who have a lot of money, but they do not have a trait that Scotty possesses, his abilities with women. They agree to let Scotty stay with them at their beach house and pay him a monthly stipend if he returns the favor by teaching them how to pick up women.

one of the biggest action stars in Hollywood.  He got his start in martial arts films; The Way of the Dragon was his big coming out as we got to see him go toe to toe with the legend Bruce Lee.  So in 1982 when Silent Rage came out, people knew what to expect out of Norris even though this was still before some of his biggest hits.  I remember seeing the movie when I was a kid. It was part of a Chuck Norris marathon, where I also got to see Firewalker, a film that for some reason I became obsessed with. (Upon re-watching it years later, the film didn’t hold up at all).  That’s sort of the thing with a lot of films that you adore as it kid; they don’t quite hold up as much as you would like them to, so I was a bit hesitant when Silent Rage was offered to review.  Would it hold up as a fun action romp, or would it let me down?

Sheriff Stevens (Norris) is the lawman in a small Texas town that doesn’t seem to ever have much trouble, and that seems to be fine for the sheriff.  The film opens up with Jack Kirby (Brian Libby) waking up and obviously on the edge of losing it. As it turns out, he’s completely gone insane and goes on a mini killing spree at the home where he is staying.  The sheriff and the deputies are called to the home, and after a small confrontation, Kirby is gunned down.  Kirby eventually is pronounced dead, but not for long, since he is under the care of a mad scientist and a pair of other doctors (one including Ron Silver) who believe they have a cure against disease and possibly even death.  It’s no surprise when the doctors inject Kirby with this serum things will go bad; they just aren’t ready for how bad it can get.

The story is loosely based on a real incident called “The Newton Massacre”, which was basically a brutal shootout that took place in a saloon back in 1871.  Though we do get to see the incident in the film, the story places most of its focus on the events that in theory led up to this violent showdown.  It’s a good idea, and after reading up on the actual shootout, this could have been a tale that would have suited Eastwood, John Ford, or Howard Hawks. Deadman Standing has all the right parts to make a great independent western; unfortunately, by the time you’re ten minutes into the film, you’ll see that this film was a misfire.

The film wastes no time in setting up the political divide that has struck the small boomtown of Hyde Park.  There is an election that is going to take place, and basically it’s a battle over land between the cattlemen and those who work for the railroad.  Stuck in the middle of this fight is the town’s lawman, Mike McCluskie (Luke Arnold), who is too outgunned and outmanned to really make much of a difference and is simply trying to keep the town together, though he knows eventually there is going to be bloodshed.  But instead of keeping things simple, the filmmakers have injected so many characters with some rather clunky dialog that the story does get to be tiresome and un-engaging.