Nine Lives

What we have here is a messy British independent film that takes most of its cues from the Agatha Christy 10 Little Indians formula. The film fails to provide enough setup or character development to ensure we give a crap about any of these people or what happens to them. As the dull actors and their equally dull counterparts disappear, I found myself looking forward to losing another one. Most of these chaps are complete unknowns. Only Paris Hilton’s name rang any bells. The producers were quite aware of this dilemm…, so they gave Hilton top billing and front and center on the cover art. The only problem is she’s just as bad an actress as these others. She also plays one of the shortest roles of the film. This is a complete yawner.

Synopsis

A group of college co-eds meet in a spooky Scottish castle to reunite for a birthday party. They discover an ancient book that appears to reveal some supernatural yarn. Predictably, they begin to disappear one by one.

Audio

The soundtrack is a very bland Dolby Digital 2.0 audio mix. The dialogue is almost always muddled and hard to understand. There are times I just gave up and decided what they were saying just couldn’t be that important. The Exorcist ripoff theme is too loud.

Video

Nine Lives is presented in a wide screen aspect ratio of 1.85:1. This is without a doubt a low budget film. If the cast doesn’t clue you in the production values certainly should. The transfer is quite clean and shows no specks or artifacts. The filming was just horrible. Whoever did the lighting on this film should never work again. Shadows are distracting. Key elements of the film are hidden due to poor production.

Special Features

Only a series of interviews. You’ll get about a minute of conversation from each of the key players. Nothing to see here.

Final Thoughts

My advice is to leave this one alone. If you’re looking for horror, there are far too many superior films out there. Don’t waste the hour and a half of your life on this one. I’d tell you more but “I just can’t stand it anymore”.

Special Features List

• Interviews