Posts by Jonathan Foster

“Imagine if you could never make another sound, not for the rest of your life.”

With those opening words, Marvel Knights Animation draws you into the world of the Inhumans, a race with many different genetic varieties. This 12-episode DVD shares one of the many stories from this unique corner of the Marvel Universe, focusing on the Inhumans’ home of Attilan, an island in the middle of the ocean. Ruled by their king, Black Bolt, they are content to live in their protective dome, blissfully ignoring the outside world.

What do you get when you take one over-actor, one under-actor, a mythical creature, and place them in the Norwegian woods? The answer is Thale, the worst thing to come out of Norway since the Viking raids. This is quite possibly the most boring film I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen Rubber and Southland Tales). Leo and Elvis clean up crime scenes for a living. One day, while cleaning up a scene where a man’s body has been scavenged by animals, they find a hidden doorway to a secret room.

“I’ve always advocated, and I still will advocate until the day I close my eyes and die, that there should be a national holiday honoring Jackie Roosevelt Robinson, so then all people will know who this man is.”

That statement by fellow Brooklyn Dodger Don Newcombe illustrates just how important Jackie Robinson was, not just to baseball, but to professional sports as a whole and the civil rights movement. When Robinson strode onto Ebbets Field in 1947, he shattered a color barrier that had been in place since professional baseball began.

“People will always put themselves and money first.”

What do a yuppie business student, an escaped prisoner, and an enforcer for the Serbian mob have in common? They all want Easy Money, and the lives of these three very different men intersect in very unpredictable ways. Unfortunately, this Swedish crime film from director Daniél Espinosa (Safe House) is hard to follow for reasons that go beyond me not understanding a word they’re saying.

Something strange in your neighborhood? Who ya gonna call? Well, if Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd are busy and you don’t mind being on TV, you call SyFy’s Ghost Hunters. For eight seasons, the team from T.A.P.S. (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) has gone to various spooky locations to investigate claims of paranormal activity. Led by Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson, T.A.P.S. takes on a variety of cases in the first part of this season that send the team from a WWII aircraft carrier and a haunted amusement park to Providence’s City Hall.

You know the story. A bunch of teens head out to a remote location to party, with most of the group getting drunk and/or high. Ignoring any and all warnings, they do something that invariably gets most of them killed, whether they deserve it or not. Most horror movies — like Cabin in the Woods or Wrong Turn — take this recipe and throw in their own flavor. Unfortunately, Nobody Gets Out Alive adds nothing new to the pot.

Dumbo. Babar. Horton. Everyone loves elephants. These gentle giants of Africa and India have been lauded in both story and song. They’re also an integral part of any circus worth going to. With all this love for elephants, it would seem any movie about the oversize beasts would be a slam-dunk, right?