Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 19th, 2012
"On the clearest of nights when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful, the great merchant ships with their cargos of Arturian Solar Crystals felt safe and secure. Little did they suspect that they were being pursued by pirates."
Everybody loves a pirate story, and Walt Disney Studios has made a good bit of money from that particular fact. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride and eventual Johnny Depp films have gone a long way to fill the booty chests of the studio to overflow.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 18th, 2012
"I will be 100 percent committed to this half the time."
This offbeat, knowingly unromantic declaration between long-time friends Jason and Julie kicks the plot of Friends with Kids into motion. The platonic pair decide to have a child together after watching the soul-sucking effect parenthood has had on their married friends. The plan is for Jason and Julie to share parental responsibilities right down the middle while living separate romantic lives. Don't worry.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 17th, 2012
All funny ideas are not created equal. A concept that may have audiences laughing their heads off for a few minutes could wind up being absolutely torturous when stretched to feature film length. Few people know this better than Will Ferrell, one of the most popular and successful Saturday Night Live alumni of all time. He's cracked people up on the small-screen and in multiple comedic blockbusters.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 16th, 2012
The “Patch of Heaven” farm is about to be seized by the bank, unless $750.00 can be raised, and raised quickly. By lucky coincidence, that is precisely the reward being offered for the capture of cattle rustler Alameda Slim. Three plucky cows (voiced by Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench and Jennifer Tilly) decide to capture Slim and win the reward, thus saving their home.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on July 13th, 2012
Taking place in the 41st century, an astronaut named Barbarella (played by Jane Fonda) has been ordered to search out a missing Earth scientist named Durand Durand. On this mission, she is forced to land on a Planet called Lythion where she must overcome various erotic obstacles in this psychedelic camp classic.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 11th, 2012
Right before this movie hit theaters, I made a snarky joke about how I was already mentally preparing myself for American Funeral in about 20 years. (I imagined the gang reluctantly reuniting following the death of a 50-year-old Steve Stifler in a tragic, orgy-related accident involving high school girls...except it turns out Stifler faked his death to get the crew back together and shenanigans ensue.) It was an easy joke to make because I felt American Reunion came with a detectable whiff of desperation.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by M. W. Phillips on July 8th, 2012
“Come on Ryan! These are big existential questions, best left for boring Russian novelists and teenagers on acid. Real people don't think about this shit!”
As Wilfred: The Complete First Season begins, Ryan Newman (Elijah Wood), a miserably depressed out of work lawyer, just reached the end of his rope. One night, after meticulously composing the final draft of his suicide note, he downs a handful of pills, chugs them back with a bottle of NyQuil and heads off to bed. Nothing happens. He can’t even fall asleep.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on July 7th, 2012
An aimless slacker named Jeff shambles out of his mother's basement (where he lives, hence the movie title), tasked with a chore, but is sidetracked by a theory that he is being given signs. What are these “signs” meant to mean? Not even Jeff knows as he runs into his brother and mother along his seemingly random path. The films asks, is said path truly random? Or is he finally on a journey to find true meaning in his life?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 3rd, 2012
Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fairest Snow White movie of them all? (Or at least 2012.) Well, if we're going by box office receipts and critical reception, the winner is Snow White and the Huntsman, the gothic, snarlier twist on the classic tale starring Kristen Stewart (everything starring Stewart is automatically snarlier), Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth. However, if we're going by costumes, production design and general shiny-ness, Mirror Mirror easily wins. I realize that sounds like faint praise, but this family-friendly take on Snow White has its quirky charms.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 3rd, 2012
"Squeal like a pig..."
It's one of those lines that you know even if you've never seen Deliverance. The line and film have entered our pop culture and have been referenced in hundreds of films that followed. Along with the iconic rendition of Dueling Banjos, taken from the traditional piece Feuding Banjos, well... you might feel like you've seen the film even if you haven't. Deliverance is a film about Americana that has itself become a large part of Americana. Most of us have found ourselves in a situation where we start hearing those familiar notes in the back of our heads. The truth is, they just don't make them like this anymore.
