Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 19th, 2012
"On the clearest of nights when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful, the great merchant ships with their cargos of Arturian Solar Crystals felt safe and secure. Little did they suspect that they were being pursued by pirates."
Everybody loves a pirate story, and Walt Disney Studios has made a good bit of money from that particular fact. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride and eventual Johnny Depp films have gone a long way to fill the booty chests of the studio to overflow. But, of course, Disney didn't invent the pirate sensation, and they were not the first to fully capitalize on their popularity. That honor might well fall to Robert Louis Stevenson and his 1883 novel Treasure Island. The book has been a favorite of daydreaming young boys and girls for well near 150 years. More than just a story of pirates and adventure, it's a story of self-discovery and coming of age. It's quite a timeless tale and has had several film versions over the years. In 2002 Walt Disney Animation took on the task and created an animated feature that used the material rather loosely and opted for a grand space adventure. The result was Treasure Planet.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 18th, 2012
"I will be 100 percent committed to this half the time."
This offbeat, knowingly unromantic declaration between long-time friends Jason and Julie kicks the plot of Friends with Kids into motion. The platonic pair decide to have a child together after watching the soul-sucking effect parenthood has had on their married friends. The plan is for Jason and Julie to share parental responsibilities right down the middle while living separate romantic lives. Don't worry. I was thinking the exact same thing as you and all the other characters in the movie when they hear about this harebrained scheme: "Good luck with that!"
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 17th, 2012
All funny ideas are not created equal. A concept that may have audiences laughing their heads off for a few minutes could wind up being absolutely torturous when stretched to feature film length. Few people know this better than Will Ferrell, one of the most popular and successful Saturday Night Live alumni of all time. He's cracked people up on the small-screen and in multiple comedic blockbusters. Ferrell's latest, Casa de mi Padre, seems like a classic example of an idea that would be extremely funny as a skit or a fake trailer, but becomes annoying over a prolonged period of time. The actor is surely savvy enough to realize this, and I kinda love that he decided to do it anyway.
Casa de mi Padre — directed by Matt Piedmont and written by Andrew Steele, a pair of Ferrell's SNL cohorts — is told in the overly dramatic style of Mexican soap operas (or "telenovelas") and westerns of the 1970s (with their choppy editing). It has more in common with Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino films than with Ferrell's own previous work...unless I missed any slo-mo bloodbaths in Elf. Did I mention the part where it's almost entirely in Spanish? The poker-faced movie plays it so straight with its inspiration that it's not entirely accurate to call it a spoof; it's more of an homage.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 16th, 2012
The “Patch of Heaven” farm is about to be seized by the bank, unless $750.00 can be raised, and raised quickly. By lucky coincidence, that is precisely the reward being offered for the capture of cattle rustler Alameda Slim. Three plucky cows (voiced by Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench and Jennifer Tilly) decide to capture Slim and win the reward, thus saving their home.
The opening moments, with a series of Tex Avery-style catastrophes befalling an unfortunate rabbit, are very promising. Here and there are other patches of inspiration, such as when Slim reveals that his foolproof secret for stealing cattle is to hypnotize them by yodeling (leading into one of the stronger musical numbers). Unfortunately, in between are long stretches of flat storytelling and dull jokes. Roseanne Barr is as annoying a presence as a voice artist as she is an actor, and Cuba Gooding Jr.’s horse character is a pale imitation of Eddie Murphy’s work on Mulan and Shrek. There aren’t enough bones tossed to adults, and the two kids I was screening this with were bored out of the room in five minutes flat.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on July 13th, 2012
Taking place in the 41st century, an astronaut named Barbarella (played by Jane Fonda) has been ordered to search out a missing Earth scientist named Durand Durand. On this mission, she is forced to land on a Planet called Lythion where she must overcome various erotic obstacles in this psychedelic camp classic.
When it comes to campy productions like this, one does not sniff around for Oscar worthy performances...no...we come to see Jane Fonda stiptease in zero gravity. In fact, throughout this tale, Fonda's Barbarella uses her sexuality as her weapon of choice in the fight against robots, mad scientists, and other extra-terrestrial baddies whom wish nothing more than to see intergalactic angels slaughtered (I swear to you, that was not just me cobbling together random words...all of those things actually happen in this film).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 11th, 2012
Right before this movie hit theaters, I made a snarky joke about how I was already mentally preparing myself for American Funeral in about 20 years. (I imagined the gang reluctantly reuniting following the death of a 50-year-old Steve Stifler in a tragic, orgy-related accident involving high school girls...except it turns out Stifler faked his death to get the crew back together and shenanigans ensue.) It was an easy joke to make because I felt American Reunion came with a detectable whiff of desperation. Cast members who were missing from 2003's American Wedding were suddenly available now that they weren't quite as busy as they were nine years ago. Instead, I'm happy to say that the fourth film in the franchise — I'm willfully ignoring the straight-to-DVD American Pie Presents... titles — is mostly a love letter to fans and a pretty decent raunchy comedy on its own merits.
The film even acknowledges the odd timing for this particular reunion. I'm not even sure 13-year high school reunions are a real thing (it's not exactly a nice, round number), but that's what brings the American Pie gang back to East Great Falls, Michigan. We spend the first portion of the movie catching up with the characters' lives in their early 30's. Jim and Michelle (Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan) are still married, but in the kind of sexual rut that all married couples with children seem to suffer in movies and on TV. The amusing opening scene reminds us that there is no end to Jim's humiliation and the rest of the film confirms that Jason Biggs' penis is still a reliable source of comedy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by M. W. Phillips on July 8th, 2012
“Come on Ryan! These are big existential questions, best left for boring Russian novelists and teenagers on acid. Real people don't think about this shit!”
As Wilfred: The Complete First Season begins, Ryan Newman (Elijah Wood), a miserably depressed out of work lawyer, just reached the end of his rope. One night, after meticulously composing the final draft of his suicide note, he downs a handful of pills, chugs them back with a bottle of NyQuil and heads off to bed. Nothing happens. He can’t even fall asleep. The following morning his hot next-door neighbor, Jenna (Fiona Gubelmann), shows up at his door asking if he would watch her dog Wilfred for the day. Thing is, where everyone else sees a big, shaggy mutt, Ryan sees a scruffy Australian man (Jason Gann) in a furry dog suit… a wisecracking, pot-smoking, frequently profane man who stands upright and seemingly has opposable thumbs under his costume.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on July 7th, 2012
An aimless slacker named Jeff shambles out of his mother's basement (where he lives, hence the movie title), tasked with a chore, but is sidetracked by a theory that he is being given signs. What are these “signs” meant to mean? Not even Jeff knows as he runs into his brother and mother along his seemingly random path. The films asks, is said path truly random? Or is he finally on a journey to find true meaning in his life?
This film is essentially about people who are dissatisfied about their placement in life and are in need of something drastic to shake them out of it. Jeff, played by Jason Segal, seems to focused on fruitless theories and journeys to ever make something of himself. His brother, played by Ed Helms, suspects his wife of infidelity after she blows up at him over buying a new Porsche without consulting her. Their mother, played by Susan Sarandon, is a widow who has not had excitement in her life since her husband passed on. When an anonymous love note arrives, she takes the chance of discovery who her “admirer” is.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 3rd, 2012
Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fairest Snow White movie of them all? (Or at least 2012.) Well, if we're going by box office receipts and critical reception, the winner is Snow White and the Huntsman, the gothic, snarlier twist on the classic tale starring Kristen Stewart (everything starring Stewart is automatically snarlier), Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth. However, if we're going by costumes, production design and general shiny-ness, Mirror Mirror easily wins. I realize that sounds like faint praise, but this family-friendly take on Snow White has its quirky charms.
Julia Roberts headlines this version as a wicked Queen who is fond of lavish parties and elaborate gowns, but rules over a frigid, destitute kingdom following the disappearance of the popular king she married. Snow White (Lily Collins), on the cusp of her 18th birthday, is the king's daughter and the rightful heir to the throne. After the jealous Queen tries to have Snow White murdered, the exiled princess enlists the help of a noble prince (Armie Hammer) and seven outcast dwarves to take back her kingdom.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 3rd, 2012
"Squeal like a pig..."
It's one of those lines that you know even if you've never seen Deliverance. The line and film have entered our pop culture and have been referenced in hundreds of films that followed. Along with the iconic rendition of Dueling Banjos, taken from the traditional piece Feuding Banjos, well... you might feel like you've seen the film even if you haven't. Deliverance is a film about Americana that has itself become a large part of Americana. Most of us have found ourselves in a situation where we start hearing those familiar notes in the back of our heads. The truth is, they just don't make them like this anymore.
