Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 13th, 2014
Paula Patton has managed to stand out on the big screen alongside Hollywood heavyweights like Denzel Washington (Déjà Vu, 2 Guns) and Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol), but she’s still probably best known for being married to Beetle-douche. That’s why I was hoping Baggage Claim, her first big solo starring vehicle, would be so much better than it turned out to be. It’s tempting to dismiss it as just another corny, clichéd romantic comedy, and forget about it until it pops up on TBS two years from now. But the film squanders too much appealing talent — and insults the audience’s intelligence too often — to let it off the hook quite so easily.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 11th, 2014
There are two very distinctive schools of thought about Walt Disney’s The Jungle Book. There are the Kipling fanatics who have never forgiven Disney for taking a story considered sacred in literary circles and creating something that honestly bears (pardon the pun) little resemblance to the original work. These folks rightfully point out that the story contains almost nothing recognizable about the story and characters from Kipling’s beloved classic. I have often condemned projects that take names like The Night Stalker and Battlestar Galactica and create a vision incompatible with the traditions I associate with them.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on February 11th, 2014
“I know many of you are probably wondering, ‘What the hell is Mike Tyson gonna do up here on stage tonight,’ right? Frankly, I’m wondering the same thing too.”
If you or I decided to get a face tattoo, it would almost definitely be the craziest thing that’s ever happened to either of us. On the other hand, I’m not sure Mike Tyson’s now-infamous facial ink even cracks the Top 5 list of most insane things he’s ever said or done. That very unpredictability is what makes him an ideal, endlessly compelling subject for a one-man show.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 10th, 2014
“You have to interfere in what is wrong to make it right.”
When a movie is described as a “timeless classic,” the implication is the film contains a level of artistic merit and cross-generational appeal that has made it relevant decades after its release, and will make it watchable decades from now. The flip side is the type of film that is very much of the time it was created. Despite what ought to be a universal message about caring for one another, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness — making a welcome debut on Blu-ray as part of the Fox Studio Classics series — belongs in the latter category.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Jeremy Butler on February 7th, 2014
“A successful breakout depends on three things: Layout, Routine, and Outside Help.”
You know, there was a time when the public could only dream of an Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone team-up. Now thanks to a little film called The Expendables, when it comes to the realm of action star team-ups, anything is possible. Case in point: Escape Plan. When this film was first announced, I figure it would be devoid of any real substance and just another attempt to capitalize on the success of Expendables
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 6th, 2014
“Don't try to figure this out...I'm just a crazy, horny bitch.”
This column strongly opposes cheating on your significant other. But if you absolutely can't help yourself, you've got to be smarter about it than the numbskull played by Billy Zane in this film. In Scorned — a junky, over-the-top cross between Fatal Attraction and Misery — his girlfriend is an admitted manic-depressive who regularly takes as much medication as she can stuff in her purse. So what exactly did this dolt think would happen when she found out that he was sleeping with her best friend?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 5th, 2014
"Sometimes I like to think that fever of an unexpected origin, that I never came out of the other side. And that the rest of my life, none of it ever happened, especially that part where I got shot 37 times, giving my Bonnie Parker her big ending."
When you're telling the story of Bonnie and Clyde, it's very hard to say anything new. The exploits of the pair were followed closely by the entire nation. Newspaper accounts and silver screen newsreels took advantage of every turn of events in the case
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 4th, 2014
“I’m match for any man.”
The idea that “behind every great man, there’s a great woman rolling her eyes” far predates its adoption as a feminist slogan in the middle of the previous century. The White Queen — a sumptuous, rushed combination of Game of Thrones-style high-stakes scheming and Tudors-style regal bodice ripping — uses Britain’s late medieval history as a jumping off point for pushing a number of notable women to the forefront.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 3rd, 2014
“How did the stripper get in the maid's room?”
That question sounds like the set up for some juvenile, profane joke, but it also tidily encapsulates the plot of Afternoon Delight. The film is about the plight of an affluent, quietly desperate housewife who takes it upon herself to “rescue” a young, down-on-her-luck stripper. What the quote doesn't quite capture is how this funny and frank outing from first-time feature filmmaker Jill Soloway is really about the universal quest for intimacy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on January 30th, 2014
Collision is ostensibly about a honeymooning couple who gets stranded in the desert, and how the harsh, unforgiving terrain shines a light on their many secrets. But the coolest thing about this thriller — besides the spectacularly violent car crash that sets the plot in motion and gives the film its title — is how the story could've been told from any of the marooned characters' perspectives. I just wish writer/director David Marconi hadn't taken the most winding, contrived road possible to arrive at his destination.
