Disc Reviews

Director Jennifer Lynch’s camera winds its way through a dingy house with tragically outdated décor during the opening moments of Chained. It’s almost as if the filmmaker is encouraging the audience to get nice and cozy with this depressing setting because we’re going to be spending a lot of time here.

Thankfully, we don’t spend nearly as much time in that sad hell hole as poor little Tim. The nine year old boy (Evan Bird) and his mother (Julia Ormond sporting a busted American accent) are abducted by Bob (Vincent D’Onofrio), a cab-driving serial killer who targets women and takes the two of them back to his house.

Ever since I first saw John Carpenter’s The Thing, I’ve had a soft spot for movies that take place in cold, snowy climates.  I’m guessing it’s because living in Tampa, there is little to no chance of seeing the white stuff.   Frozen was the last chiller-thriller that had me grimacing at the sight of what frostbite can do. So when I saw the title Hypothermia I figured it was time to crank up the A/C and warm up some Swiss Miss, because I was ready to check this movie out.The Pelletier family is heading out for a weekend of ice fishing; this has been a yearly tradition for as long as the family can remember.  But with David (Benjamin Forster) about to finish school, he and his girlfriend Gina (Amy Chang) have plans to volunteer in Africa, which means this could be the last ice fishing trip they’ll have together, as a family. Ray (Michael Rooker), David’s father, couldn’t be any more proud of his son, so they decide to make this family trip the best it can possibly be.

It’s at this point they begin to realize something isn’t right with the lake and the fish are not biting.  To put another kink in the family’s relaxing trip, Steve and Stevie Jr. decide to come out and do some fishing themselves, while annoying the Pelletier family with their loud music and roaring engines from their snowmobiles.  All this noise ends up attracting the attention of a large creature that is lurking beneath the ice.

“Mentalist: Someone who uses mental acuity, hypnosis, and/or suggestion. A master manipulator of thoughts and behavior.”

This time around Baker stars as Patrick Jane, a psychic who was riding high bilking folks out of their hard-earned money by playing on their desires to contact their deceased loved ones. He would justify his con as providing closure for his marks and never looked back. That is, until one day he makes a fatal mistake. He never fooled himself into believing any of it was real. He wasn’t psychic. He just paid close attention. While working with the police to solve a serial killer case, he arrogantly demeans the murderer, known as Red John, on a television show. It was all chuckles until he gets home and finds that he made Red John so angry that he killed his wife and young daughter. Now he’s driven by guilt and a desire to avenge his family’s death. He abandons his con game and decides to use the observational skills that allowed him to play a psychic to assist the California Bureau Of Investigation, a sort of state-based FBI, to solve murders. He’s not a cop, but consults with a tough-crimes division that answers directly to the state’s Attorney General. As he puts it, “No gun. No badge. They don’t even give me dental.” While he’s shed his psychic persona, Jane is still incredibly full of himself. Jane is also deeply disturbed, although he hides it well. He still sleeps in the bedroom where his wife and daughter were killed. He never covered the red smiley face Red John drew at his crime scenes to taunt him in the victims’ own blood. A little Helter Skelter meets Barney.

Three-time widower Ben Cartwright  (Greene) runs his famous Ponderosa Ranch with the aid of his three grown sons from three different mothers. There’s Little Joe (Landon), Adam (Roberts) and Hoss (Blocker). Set some time in the mid 1800’s, this long-running series followed the family’s many exploits. In the late 1950’s westerns accounted for six of the top ten programs on TV. Only Gunsmoke had a longer run than Bonanza. From 1959 to 1973, Ben Cartwright and his boys rode across the small screen. Years later in syndication the series re-emerged as Ponderosa, and a handful of TV movies continued the tale into the 90’s.We never have grown tired of the genre that gave us such heroes as John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.

Unlike many of the 1960's Western television shows, Bonanza was all about the characters. You rarely saw a gunfight. There was often a bit of fisticuffs, but usually it ended with a lesson that violence never pays. The show prided itself on using the Western genre to deliver a family kind of show, and it's no surprise that series star Michael Landon would use many of the same kinds of stories and lessons on his own Little House On The Prairie. The Cartwrights are always helping widows, the wrongly accused, and the local Indian population. That help often lands them in hot water.

Standup Comedian is the second hour-long comedy special Martin has released.  I’ve watched numerous comedy specials over the years. I’ve seen many I’ve loved, cheered, and even loathed.  When I first saw Martin go through his routine in a previous special, I simply shrugged it off and forgot about it a few minutes later.  I figured he would be one of the many comedians that would fizzle away into obscurity.  But then I found out this guy has a strong following, and I couldn’t understand it, wondering when did drawing pictures become comedy?

When the time came and I was handed this special, I was a little hesitant, but I’m always willing to give a comedian another shot (with the exception of Katt Williams).  So after watching it, what did I think?  An enthusiastic shoulder shrug.  It started off strong, but then it just became one-liner after one-liner.  The kind of jokes that if your friend told you the line it would be amusing, but when a professional says it you just expect a little more.  And that’s the problem, the entire time I just kept expecting more, and his audience should feel about the same.  I appreciate dry humor, but this just didn’t work for me.

Best known for his appearances on the Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts, Jeff Ross sets off on a cross-country quest to roast America in his new comedy special.  Aside from his appearances on the roasts, I was not familiar with Ross or his stand-up act.  Some may best describe him as rude, perhaps even offensive, but personally, I think the guy is hilarious. To kick off his tour we get to see Ross backstage with his family, and it just so happens that it is his nephew’s birthday, which makes him the first victim of the numerous speed roasts that are to follow.  Considering how little he held back with his own family, it came as no surprise to hear some of the many offensive jokes that were to follow.

What made this special stand out the most from the standard stand-up releases is that we actually are given glimpses of what life is like on the road.  It’s too bad we didn’t get more of this; he’s actually a personality I could see people finding engaging to watch.  At a stop in Washington DC we get to see Ross give an impromptu speed roast on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  Some may find it in poor taste, but he still had a few zingers for the former president that got a few chuckles out of me.