Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 24th, 2013
Forget about all of the sequels, remakes and copycats. At least that's what original Texas Chainsaw Massacre writer/director Tobe Hooper wants you to do. As far as he's concerned, Texas Chainsaw 3D is the official follow-up to the groundbreaking, flesh-tearing 1974 cult classic film. To bring the point home, Hooper has signed on as a producer and brought along the original Leatherface Gunnar Hansen and Marilyn Burns who played Sally, the girl who got away in the original film. Both have cameos here.
They say you can't go back home again. In the magic world of movies you can always go back. In fact some argue that Hollywood has spent far too much time looking back than moving forward. Texas Chainsaw 3D takes you back to the highlight moments of the first film and then picks up the action just moments after the end credits began. That means creating the farmhouse and property of the Sawyer clan just as it looked in the 1974 film and matching it quite nicely in 2013. The result is an impressive journey back in time that would find even the most rabid fans at a loss to determine any significant differences between the two locations and houses. This time the film is shot in Louisiana instead of the titular Texas, but you'd swear nothing's changed in 40 years. Of course everything about making a movie has changed, and that is the heart of this trip down memory lane. The place may look the same, but this isn't the same Texas Chainsaw, not by a Texas mile.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on May 16th, 2013
“We are your Family. We come before anything, even your own family.”
Everything about Once Upon a Time in Brooklyn — the setting, the storyline, the cast, the title — brings to mind vastly superior crime dramas. To be fair, it’s incredibly difficult to say something in this genre that hasn’t already been said brilliantly by the likes of Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese or David Chase. So instead of trying to carve out its own turf, this low-budget effort seems to almost revel in how derivative it is. At the very least, the people who made this movie seem to love gangster flicks as much as we do.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on May 6th, 2013
“This is America’s war as never seen before…”
When you consider the countless documentaries, miniseries and feature films dedicated to the Second World War, you’d think the defining conflict of the 20th century has been covered from every possible angle. And you’d be wrong! History has taken to the skies with WWII From Space, a two-hour special that originally aired on the cable network in December and promised to bring viewers an unprecedented, extraterrestrial perspective of the war.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on March 20th, 2013
Sometimes you really can judge a book terrible movie by its cover. Beyond the awful Photoshopped shot of the film’s stars, the cover art for House Arrest boasts that the movie comes “From a Producer of You Got Served.” That set off a bunch of questions in my curious mind. Why just one producer? Is this really something a person would brag about? Most importantly, where are all the hip hop dance battles?! Worse than all that, the film itself completely muddles a worthwhile message about faith and the importance of family with shoddy storytelling and a steady stream of substandard performances.
House Arrest quickly introduces us to Chanel (Stacey Dash), a spoiled L.A. rich girl living the high life with her boyfriend, DeAndre (Jayceon “The Game” Taylor). You can tell Chanel is spoiled because she even has a tiny dog named Trixie that she carries around in her purse. While out shopping one day, Chanel and DeAndre are both arrested for the robbery of some valuable computer chips. (The crime is so vague and ultimately pointless that they may as well have been accused of stealing a box of vintage floppy disks.) Prior offender DeAndre is sent to prison while first-time offender Chanel is sentenced to house arrest in a much less ostentatious part of town under the roof of grandma Mee-Mah (Bebe Drake) and Chanel’s daughter Autumn (Kiera Washington). Chanel is innocent, but Deandre asks her to take the fall because she’d probably only get a probation — this guy is a real sweetheart — and because DeAndre’s crimes helped fund their expensive lifestyle.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 3rd, 2013
“I’ve changed a lot. I’m not the same woman.”
Early on in Luis Buñuel’s surrealist gem, a mild-mannered older gentleman named Mathieu douses a beautiful, battered woman with a bucket of water as she desperately attempts to board the train he’s riding. His fellow passengers are stunned, but also understandably intrigued. What possible sequence of events could’ve led Mathieu to this cold and cartoonish gesture? It’s an irresistible hook, and Mathieu proceeds to regale the other travelers — and, by extension, the movie’s audience — with the tale of “the foulest woman who ever lived.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on January 23rd, 2013
Anytime a horror film is released with a religious element, I can’t help but be a little interested. The film that first won me over for this sub-genre was, of course, The Exorcist, and ever since seeing that film I keep hoping that one day a film will hold up to it in quality, but it seems I’ll be waiting a while. That’s not to say there haven’t been some good films to come out along the way. The Possession is one of those valiant attempts that brings something fresh to the genre but never quite reaches its full potential. Before going into this film I was familiar with the “true story” surrounding the Dibbuk box, and I’ve always felt if there was ever a story to rival The Exorcist or The Omen, it would revolve around this box. I don’t want to get into the history of the box because most of the story has little to do with the movie, and in my opinion that is part of the reason this film falls short of what could have been.
The film opens as an elderly woman approaches the cursed box to destroy it. Unfortunately for her the box knows what she is up to and punishes her for it. She is violently tossed around her living room as though she were nothing more than a rag doll; outside her son stands unaware of the punishment she is taking. It’s clear this unseen force is powerful, but what is it?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Jonathan Foster on January 17th, 2013
Do you realize how much you’re affected by advertising? Branded attempts to answer this question while showing us where our world is headed if the trend continues. Mishka Galkin (Ed Stoppard, The Pianist) is Russia’s advertising whiz kid. When Mishka meets Abby (Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes, The Wicker Man), they immediately become friends, despite the fact that she is the niece of Bob Gibbons (Jeffrey Tambor, TVs Arrested Development, the Hellboy movies), Mishka’s boss. Even though Bob warns him to stay away from Abby, Mishka enters into a personal and professional relationship with her, developing an Extreme Makeover-type show in Russia together. Unfortunately, the show tanks when the woman getting the makeover falls into a coma following her cosmetic surgery.
In the public outcry that follows, Mishka is jailed and Abby is deported. When he gets out after being incarcerated for a few days, Mishka angrily confronts his boss, claiming that Bob used his former CIA contacts to orchestrate the show’s failure so that Abby would leave Russia (and Mishka). During this argument, Bob has a heart attack and dies. Believing his marketing ability is “a curse” harming those around him, Mishka decides to leave the advertising business behind and become a hermit. (The idea that Mishka’s ability is a curse comes from the film’s narrator, who sounds like GLaDOS, the evil computer from Portal.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on January 6th, 2013
The following sentence is taken directly from the back of the Blu-ray case for Charlie Sheen’s latest small-screen vehicle: “Charlie thrives on the chaos in his life while still battling his own anger issues.” So it’s fair to say FX’s Anger Management isn’t afraid to blur the line between reality and fiction. It’s actually a good move because the latest TV show tailored specifically to Sheen’s talents doesn’t have much else going for it.
Anger Management, created by Bruce Helford (The Drew Carey Show), is loosely based on the 2003 Jack Nicholson/Adam Sandler film of the same name. (And I really can’t emphasize the word “loosely” enough; the only things the two have in common is that one of the characters is an anger management therapist and, um, it features humans.) Sheen stars as Charlie Goodson, activating a little-known clause in his contract that stipulates he can only play people named “Charlie.” In this case, his Charlie is a disgraced former baseball player turned therapist who counsels a motley crew of patients with anger management issues out of his home.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Jonathan Foster on January 3rd, 2013
In the financial world, the term “arbitrage” refers to the possibility of risk-free profit at zero cost. This seems to be the goal for Robert Miller (Richard Gere), a hedge fund manager desperate to sell his business and retire. The reason for his desperation is that his business is completely broke due to a bad investment. This goal has completely consumed Robert, and it affects everything he does. Robert treats his employees like slaves, is nervous around his family, and regards his mistress as little more than a plaything. One night after the sale suffers yet another setback, he convinces his mistress to come with him to his country cabin. While driving her car, he falls asleep at the wheel and has an accident. Now he has something else to cover up. From then on, there’s nothing he won’t do — no lie he won’t tell, no depth he won’t sink to — in order to keep his secrets and keep his family in the dark.
Arbitrage turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would be. Gere takes what could easily be a static evil character and really fleshes it out. We may not like the things he does when his world starts falling apart, but we understand and almost — ALMOST — sympathize with him.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on November 27th, 2012
“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hood/Not a hater was stirring, cuz it was all good.”
With Thanksgiving in our rearview mirror, ‘tis officially the season of packed shopping malls and cheesy Christmas movies. Most of these flicks will air on ABC Family or the Hallmark Channel over the next few weeks, but Santa got ahead of himself and recently delivered Christmas in Compton to my doorstep. Though the film has more on its mind than its dopey cover art suggests, I kinda wish Santa had also left me a gift receipt.
