Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on April 14th, 2014
When it comes to the very worst movies I’ve ever seen, I admit that I grade on a curve. Filmmakers working with extremely limited resources get more of a pass from me. This certainly appears to be the case with Sheriff of Contention, a low-budget Western/serial killer mystery. Unfortunately, there’s only so much amateurish acting and technical mishaps I can overlook. Everyone knows that if you can’t say something nice, you’re not supposed to say anything at all. In a related story, this might end up being one of my shorter reviews.
Tom Peavy (Angelo Ortega) is the sheriff of Contention City, a real-life historical mining town in Arizona. The only thing I liked about this movie was its cool title, but the filmmakers squandered the story’s potentially-interesting backdrop. Instead, Sheriff Peavy and the trigger-happy Deputy Conley (Miguel Corona) try to catch an unknown killer who is targeting the women of Contention City. That includes Melissa (Wendy Wiltsey), the local gal who is very obviously sweet on Sheriff Peavy. There’s also the matter of the city’s shifty mayor (Nick Bonacker) encouraging the more aggressive Deputy Conley to assume the role of sheriff, despite the fact that the position is currently occupied.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 21st, 2014
"The problem is you don't know my pain or emptiness. But now you're going to know how it feels to be me."
Mitch Brockden (Cooper) is an ambitious up and comer in the Chicago prosecutor's office. He has a reputation for being aggressive, and he doesn't lose cases. He's respected and liked by his colleagues. That's the man we first meet. But after a night of some power drinking with his buds, we are introduced to another Mitch Brockden. This Mitch is selfish and a coward. When he ends up hitting a man while driving drunk, his instincts tell him to call an ambulance from a pay phone so it can't be traced to his cell and drive away. You see, Mitch has a lot to lose. He's up for getting a DA job. He has a wife and a brand new baby. He's afraid the DUI accident will derail that life. Unfortunately for Mitch, it's his decision to run away that causes the most damage.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on March 20th, 2014
“So long as my enemies are alive, I will not die.”
During his lifetime, Genghis Khan reigned over one of the biggest empires the world has ever seen. There are literally dozens of action-packed epics that could be made about his various battles as head of the Mongol Empire, which included portions of China, Russia, the Middle East and Eastern Europe. But Kingdom of Conquerors curiously focuses on the one adversary Khan couldn’t vanquish: death.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on March 7th, 2014
Paul Walker built his career on playing tarnished golden boys (Varsity Blues, The Skulls) before breaking out with the Fast & Furious franchise. He wasn’t as decorated as fellow recently-departed colleagues like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Peter O’Toole, James Gandolfini and Harold Ramis, but Walker was unequivocally a Hollywood success. Hours is one of the last films the actor completed before his November death in a single-car accident. The film quickly loses its way after a promising start, but Walker is easily the best thing in it. His work here is a bittersweet glimpse at the sort of roles he might’ve taken on as he progressed through his 40’s.
Hours has a potentially-gripping premise. Walker stars as Nolan Hayes, who arrives at a hospital with his pregnant wife Abigail (Genesis Rodriguez) during a stormy morning. Abigail has gone into labor five weeks early, and we watch a weary Nolan as he sits and waits to hear the fate of his wife and unborn child. Some of Walker’s very best work in this movie comes immediately after Nolan receives tragic news and goes into a state of shock/denial. Eventually, the storm outside knocks the power out in the hospital and forces Nolan to go to extraordinary lengths to keep a loved one alive. This is a good place to mention the film takes place in New Orleans. In 2005. Late August.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 25th, 2014
"Don't mess with a man of God."
It has been said that an old vaudevillian was on his deathbed and was asked how he was doing. He replied, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard". And no, it wasn't Shia LaBeof. The fact is that comedy is easy. Horror comedy is hard...very hard. One needs only to look at the lame attempts each year to make us laugh at the carnage. For every Shaun Of The Dead there are 100 Vampire In Brooklyn's Let's not even talk about the last Scream entry. Needless to say I was quite a bit overwhelmed when I received Hellbenders 3D. Not only was this some cheap Exorcist knockoff, but it was going to be low-budget 3D. I watched it the night before a surgery figuring it was the most likely film to make me actually look forward to the surgery. Let's face it. You see this stuff coming from a mile away. What I never saw coming was that I had one hell of a good time watching. I'm not going to call it a classic by any means. But Hellbenders delivers like few horror comedies I've seen in a very long time.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Jeremy Butler on February 7th, 2014
“A successful breakout depends on three things: Layout, Routine, and Outside Help.”
You know, there was a time when the public could only dream of an Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone team-up. Now thanks to a little film called The Expendables, when it comes to the realm of action star team-ups, anything is possible. Case in point: Escape Plan. When this film was first announced, I figure it would be devoid of any real substance and just another attempt to capitalize on the success of Expendables (the first one; the second is not that great), but the film surprisingly holds up on its own without having to cling to anything else.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on January 30th, 2014
Collision is ostensibly about a honeymooning couple who gets stranded in the desert, and how the harsh, unforgiving terrain shines a light on their many secrets. But the coolest thing about this thriller — besides the spectacularly violent car crash that sets the plot in motion and gives the film its title — is how the story could've been told from any of the marooned characters' perspectives. I just wish writer/director David Marconi hadn't taken the most winding, contrived road possible to arrive at his destination.
This English-language French thriller counts Luc Besson among its producers. Yet instead of touting Leon: The Professional or even The Fifth Element, the Blu-ray case for Collision boasts that it's, “From the producer of The Transporter and Taken 2(?!) And that's how a Blu-ray case can instantly make you feel old.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on January 22nd, 2014
Location, location, location! The notion that a desirable geographic spot can make a huge difference isn’t exclusive to the world of real estate. Take, for instance, Crossing Lines. At first glance, the show fits comfortably alongside any number of American police procedurals that feature curiously attractive cops and a fresh set of dead bodies each week. It’s a formula that’s worked for decades, so it’s hard to argue for a complete overhaul. The best fans can hope for are clever tweaks to help new shows stand out from the crowded cop show lineup. Crossing Lines accomplishes this by taking all the fake corpses you’ve seen on New York and L.A. streets and scattering them across Europe.
“Like all good stories, this one starts with a beautiful woman. Young, adventurous, full of life…unfortunately, this story also starts with the end of that life.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on January 7th, 2014
In case you’ve managed to miss the tabloids lately, it would seem that Phil Robertson, the founder of Duck Commander, has found himself in some hot water over some comments he made in GQ magazine. These comments managed to get him suspended from the show, but not long after, he was brought back. I’m not here to point fingers or even add fuel to the fire. Instead I simply want to say these kinds of scandals are inevitable when a hit series is involved; this especially becomes the case when the show is reality-based. The result that usually follows is the fans end up with the short end of the stick. If Phil were to be removed from the show it simply wouldn’t be the same show, and the thought of replacing him with another family member just wouldn’t work for me. This is the danger of having a successful reality show; scandal and drama are bound to occur, and people are bound to get upset by decisions made. I hope this is a situation that can sort itself out, because this show is one of the few guilty pleasures I have, and it would be a shame to lose it.
OK, stepping off my soapbox and on to the review. Season 4 starts off with Phil and Kay renewing their vows after 48 years of marriage. Normally I don’t really go for these sap-trap (cheesy romantic stuff) episodes, but what saved it was Uncle Si’s trip down memory lane that he takes Phil and Kay on. Uncle Si, no matter how much of a ham for the camera he is, I can’t help but enjoy the moments he graces the show with his screwball antics. This episode works as a prime example for my one gripe I have: for a show that is supposed to be reality-based, every aspect felt scripted. It’s not that I have a problem with the shows being mapped out, but it’s starting to feel more as though the Robertsons have become caricatures of themselves, and it just doesn’t feel as genuine any more.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on November 4th, 2013
Although they were brutally gunned down almost 80 years ago, everyone knows the names “Bonnie & Clyde”, even if they're only familiar with the bank-robbing basics. Don't look now, but Arthur Penn's landmark, definitive Bonnie & Clyde film — with Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway in the title roles — came out 46 years ago, so I imagine there's a large segment of younger movie fans who haven't seen the story of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow play out on screen. The ultra low-budget Bonnie & Clyde: Justified arrives just in time to capitalize coincide with December's star-studded, multi-network miniseries that will surely raise the notorious duo's pop culture profile once again.
“Now the tale I'm about to tell you is the truth, the author's side. And if anyone tells you different, then they didn't know Bonnie & Clyde.”
