Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 25th, 2013
I don’t care if it makes me sound like an awful human being, but I wanted The Demented to be much nastier than it actually was. The packaging for this straight-to-Blu-ray offering trumpets the fact that it’s “from a co-producer of A Nightmare on Elm Street” and producer Steven Monroe, who directed the I Spit on Your Grave remake. Since I’m not delusional, I didn’t expect this film to be nearly as good as a horror classic like Elm Street. But I also didn’t think it was unreasonable to expect the competent thrills of the Spit remake. Instead, the filmmakers have given us a sub-SyFy gloss on 28 Days Later... and dozens of other (infinitely superior) horror movies.
If you’ve ever seen a horror flick, you know this story. Six young, pretty things — who happen to be conveniently paired off — convene at a remote location for some party time, but end up fighting for their lives. In this case, we have college friends hanging out and hooking up at a rich friend’s Louisiana estate. A rogue terrorist attack on the Gulf Coast unleashes a biological weapon that turns the infected into rabid and fast-moving killers. (Horror fans who passionately hate the idea of “fast zombies” just clicked away from this page.) How do we know a rogue terrorist attack occurred on the Gulf Coast? Glad you asked: the father of one of the characters calls the house where they’re staying and hilariously literally says, “there’s been a rogue terrorist attack on the Gulf Coast.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 23rd, 2013
The 1970s famously produced many of the most daring, diverse and groundbreaking classics in movie history. All-time greats like Scorsese, Spielberg, Polanski, Altman and Lucas either broke out or did some of their most exciting work during the decade. But, even among these titans, Francis Ford Coppola separated himself from the pack. Four films — The Godfather, The Conversation, The Godfather Part II, Apocalypse Now — four undisputed classics. Batting 1.000 during the greatest moviemaking decade of all time earns you a ton of slack. In Coppola’s case, it has gotten him enough slack to make up for the fact that nothing he’s done in subsequent years can touch his ‘70s output.
That’s not to say there isn’t plenty to enjoy in the rest of his filmography. The Outsiders helped launch the careers of more than a handful of Hollywood heartthrobs. His gothic, lush take on Dracula is impulsively watchable, although the scariest thing in the movie remains Keanu Reeves’ English accent. Even his warm adaptation of John Grisham’s The Rainmaker managed to rise above the crowded pack of ‘90s legal dramas. After The Rainmaker, Coppola didn’t direct another movie for 10 years.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on July 22nd, 2013
Some cult classics you have to just wonder how it is they manage to stand the test of time. For the life of me I’ll never understand the love for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but yet when someone mentions the cult classic Frankenhooker, I can’t help but light up with geeky delight. As film geeks most can admit these cult classics are far from great films, but yet there is a charm about them we can’t resist, and not only do we rewatch these guilty pleasures, but we also have the irresistible urge to thrust these films on our friends.
When a liquor store owner discovers a crate of unopened, cheaply made wine labeled “viper” in his cellar, he does what any good business man would and takes it up to the counter to sell it. The trouble is this special brew does more than give you a hangover; instead it causes the body to swiftly break down and melt into a colorful puddle of goo. Unfortunately it seems the only customers picking up this deadly booze are the local bums who have managed to scrounge up a buck to make their lethal hooch.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 16th, 2013
"The Earth. A world of water. Nearly three-quarters of our planet is covered in a massive blue patchwork of seas and oceans. What lies beneath the surface is an alien realm we've barely begun to explore. Within these depths mysterious and amazing life forms live in a beautiful but fragile world of immeasurable variety and environmental extremes. This is a journey into the Wild Deep."
Wild Deep is a seven-part nature series that takes us on a journey to the underwater worlds of each of the Earth's continents. While there is some coverage of the lands themselves, the focus here is what happens beneath the surface of those lands' oceans. The show ran on Animal Planet starting in January of 2013.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on July 16th, 2013
“You want to end this once and for all? Now’s your f---ing chance.”
And with those words, spoken during the closing minutes of the fifth and final season premiere of Damages, Patty Hewes sets the stage for her ultimate showdown with protégé/frenemy/surrogate daughter Ellen Parsons. (As you can see, Patty also takes advantage of the fact that the show — which began its life on FX — migrated to DirecTV for its final two seasons, allowing her to drop that F-bomb.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 15th, 2013
“You give me a uniform, you give me a number on my back — and I’ll give you the guts.”
More than any sport, baseball is all about numbers. Unfortunately, some of those numbers — like 73 (home runs in a single season) and 500 (career homers) — mean a little less in light of the steroid era. Others, like 56 (Joe DiMaggio’s legendary hitting streak), seem destined to live on forever. The most significant number on that shortlist might be 42, worn by Jackie Robinson when he broke major league baseball’s color line on April 15, 1947. 42 — the film, not the number — is significant for a somewhat surprising reason. The movie succeeds as rousing, crowd-pleasing entertainment by functioning less as a straight-up biopic and more as the story of how Robinson became, arguably, the country’s first African-American crossover star.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 15th, 2013
It's hard to imagine that Sylvester Stallone and Walter Hill never crossed paths for an action movie in the early days of their careers. Both have established themselves as staples in the action movie genre, and they dominated the 1970's and 1980's. It seems like a dream come true that the actor and director have finally joined forces. Unfortunately, some dreams are actually nightmares, and if Bullet To The Head is any indication, the two stars would have been better off had they remained unaligned.
The story is based on the French graphic novel Du Plomb Dans La Tete by Alexis Nolent. I have never seen the book, so it would not be possible for me to compare the two. Here the story involves hit man James Bobo (Stallone). He's on a hit with his partner Louis (Seda). Things go smoothly until James decides not to kill a hooker witness. Is he going soft? Not really. It turns out the two have been set up by their boss Marcus Baptiste (Slater) who has sent another killer, Keegan (Momoa) to get rid of the team. James gets away, and now he wants to find out who set him up and killed his partner.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 15th, 2013
Cruel blood sport or culturally-significant art form? That’s been the centuries-long debate surrounding the practice of bullfighting. Personally, almost everything I know about bullfighting comes from Ernest Hemingway stories and Looney Tunes. So Blood and Sand — a grand, cynical bullfighting drama/Technicolor spectacle from 1941 making its Blu-ray debut — was an eye-opening experience in more ways than one.
Blood and Sand is the story of Juan Gallardo (Tyrone Power), who we first meet as a bullfighting-obsessed child (played by Rex Downing) in Seville. Juan’s father was a legend in the sport — and the kid will eagerly break a bottle over the head of any pompous critic (like the one played by Laird Cregar) who disagrees — and the brash boy is obsessed with following in his footsteps. (He routinely sneaks onto a ranch at night to work on his skills.) Eventually, he runs away from home with a group of friends and travels to Madrid in the hope of becoming Spain’s greatest bullfighter.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on July 10th, 2013
Oregon may have been the 33rd state to join our union — and Portland may be its most populous city — but Portlandia is a (dog-dressing, raw milk-drinking, Seattle-hating) state of mind. And after three seasons of lovingly mocking upper middle class indulgence along with the denizens of the Pacific Northwest, Portlandia — created by stars Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein and director Jonathan Krisel — feels more like a fully-realized destination than ever.
Armisen and Brownstein still star in almost every sketch, and the versatile duo has created a solid stable of recurring oddballs to anchor the show. The Portlandia “Winter Special” — which aired a few weeks before the season 3 premiere on IFC — features some of their most popular creations: feminist bookstore owners Toni and Candace try to get Candace’s son to accept (another) vagina pillow, while a Peter and Nance sketch finds ineffectual Peter deciding to cut pasta from his diet to hilariously disastrous results.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Jeremy Butler on July 10th, 2013
“There are only two reasons why a boat would go rogue. One is to defect, and the other is to start a war, and I don’t think we’re defecting. ”
Abraham Lincoln once said, “The best way to get rid of an enemy is to make him a friend.” That’s one way; however, Phantom proposes a different tactic: the best way to get rid of an enemy is to get someone else to do it. Which do you agree with more? Ed Harris and David Duchovny square off as two pieces on the opposite sides of the chess board locked in a submarine together with control of a nuclear warhead being the checkmate.
