Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 23rd, 2012
No matter how bad video game adaptations into movies are, I enjoy the grand majority of them. From the really good ones like Silent Hill and Mortal Kombat (minus the sequels) to the dismal ones like Double Dragon and Super Mario Bros. Each of them has their subtle charm and some thoughtful fan service (unless it is a game film directed by Uwe Boll). Today, we have something a little different, a game film that its sole purpose is to promote the upcoming game. Enter the film : Halo 4 - Foreword Unto Dawn.
As the film opens, we are introduced to the officer cadets at the prestigious Corbulo Academy of Military Sciences. We have the main character, Thomas Lasky (played by Tom Green) who is finding it hard to live up to his family's military history. Cadet Michael "Sully" Sullivan (played by Masam Holden) likes to crack into places where he does not belong. Cadet Walter Vickers (played by Iain Belcher) was born for this as his father produces military weapons.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on November 28th, 2012
"In 1920 they passed the prohibition act making the sale of alcohol illegal. Well... at least it was supposed to be."
I know what you’re thinking, and I was also incredibly disappointed to learn this film was not a biopic of Xena: Warrior Princess actress Lucy Lawless. (This hypothetical film would obviously star the ageless Kiwi, because the actress still looks incredible.) Fortunately, Lawless makes up for its startling lack of Lawless by being one of the better films I’ve seen this year.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on October 13th, 2012
Ever wonder what a martial arts epic directed by Baz “Moulin Rouge” Luhrmann would look like? Me neither. But that’s pretty much what we get with Legendary Amazons, (loosely) based on the exploits of the Yang family during the Song Dynasty. The story has an intriguing hook — the men of the Yang clan are massacred in battle, leaving their women to throw on armor and take to the battlefield — but is ultimately bogged down by its cartoonish tone and embarrassingly bad production values.
For the cartoonish tone, we can probably thank/blame producer Jackie Chan since the Hong Kong superstar has crafted a wildly successful career out of injecting comedy into the martial arts genre. (Legendary Amazons even has Chan’s signature bloopers during the end credits; although the actress who fell off a horse and hit the ground hard didn’t seem to be laughing.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on October 10th, 2012
Direct to Video movies is usually just a clever term to mean “We have a small budget and B-List stars so we are going to skip the theater and go straight to video and hope to capitalize on the people who might pick this up on a very slow Friday night.” Today’s review is about a man simply known as the “Courier”. It could be a ripoff of the Transporter. It might be a mailman who handles packages by day and the ladies by night.
Bad B-Movies aside, let’s see how this one plays out.
We start this bright day with an amusement park. A wristwatch shows six minutes left. Let’s go over the cast of characters shall we? We have a grieving woman in peril, a deadbeat carnival owner and a gunman sitting on top of a rollercoaster. Wait, who’s down there? Why, it is the Courier (played by Jeffery Dean Morgan), he is here to deliver the goods for the banker’s daughter. What, are they not allowed to use train tracks anymore (federal regulations and all)?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on October 7th, 2012
“I don’t want to grow older, to become marginalized and ignored by society. I don’t want to be the first person they let off the plane in a hostage crisis.”
Normally, a movie has to have the words “Harry” and “Potter” in its title to attract the caliber of British acting talent assembled for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The characters in the film may be in the twilight of their lives, but the performers who play them are at the top of their game.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on October 7th, 2012
When I started to review this film, I thought I would come up with a hokey beginning to celebrate the 31 Nights of Terror. That might have worked if I had reviewed It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown or a Lindsey Lohan movie, but to be truthful there is not much humor in this movie to be had. So let us skip the theatrics for at least one review and go straight into reviewing Bedevilled.
The movie starts with a story when vegetarianism was the way to go and the narrator went to camp for four days. The first day, they decided to talk a walk and they were showed various plants and told they could eat them. Some did, some did not. Later at night when they asked where the food was, the instructor said “Did you not get your fill during the walk?” The people laugh. They pull up to a scene where they see two thugs beat up a young girl and then chase her. The girl runs up to the car where the group of people is to ask for help. Unfortunately, they roll up the window and we fade to black.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on September 27th, 2012
When you pick up a movie with the title Strippers vs. Werewolves, to expect anything more than schlocky B-movie horror is a mistake by the viewer and the viewer alone. This foray into cheesy cinema is best viewed after a few drinks or just as random fun late at night when you can’t sleep. It’s never a movie trying to change the way we view cinema but instead just something to have some fun with, a simple escape where our brains can shut off and simply enjoy the show.
While giving a private dance, Justice (Adele Silva) kills a well-dressed gentleman who changes into a werewolf. Little does Justice know that he is connected to a powerful pack of werewolves that will stop at nothing to avenge their fallen pack member. But this isn’t the first run-in with werewolves by Jeanette (Sarah Douglas), the owner of the Vixens strip club; she’s fought and killed werewolves before and is ready to do it again to protect her club and the girls.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on September 26th, 2012
The first word that springs to my mind when considering this box set is “essential.” I try to use that word without all of the marketing baggage that comes with it, conjured up by countless previous DVD releases of other films that have claimed to be “essential.” This set lives up to that term perfectly. Raiders of the Lost Ark alone is an incredibly important film (as my review below explains in a gushing fanboy-ish manner) and the entire series is a must have for any true fan of American cinema. This transfer to Blu Ray is a very successful one, making this the ultimate collection to purchase.
Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on September 16th, 2012
As I was watching the new Ocean’s Eleven for the 185th time — it’s the last movie I saw twice on the same day in theaters — it occurred to me that the stakes were entirely too high. Three casinos…$160 million…the threat of being caught and glared at by Andy Garcia. The Babymakers, on the other hand, builds up to a heist with absurdly low stakes. It’s basically like Ocean’s Eleven, only the exact opposite.
After a few years of marriage, Tommy (Paul Schneider) and Audrey (Olivia Munn) decide they want to have a baby. We then watch Tommy try to get Audrey pregnant — strategic camera angles keep Munn mostly modest — without any success. Since it appears that Tommy is shooting blanks, the couple decides to visit a fertility clinic after receiving a bunch of advice from their respective groups of friends that I’m not sure I’m allowed to repeat on this site.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on September 9th, 2012
One of my strongest assets is my ability to compute numbers. It has helped me to excel at my paying position in the workforce as well as stay ahead when it comes to my finances. However, to date I have never really been placed in a position where my mastery of numbers would determine life or death. However, our movie today, Safe does involve a girl named Mei whose very life indeed could end on the basis of whether or not she can properly remember her numbers.
As our story opens, we find ourselves in a subway with a Chinese girl named Mei (played by Catherine Chan) who is very scared and alone. But if we transport ourselves just an hour earlier, we find that same girl in front of the Russian mob. Emile Docheski (played by Sandor Tecsy) demands that Mei give him the numbers. Numbers? Well, to understand that we need to travel to a year ago.
