Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 13th, 2015
“I wanna tell you something. I've been a bad man...I've been a very bad man most of my life. So, I decided I want to do one thing in my life. One good thing in my life before I die.”
Those words are spoken by elite contract killer John Alexander at the start of Absolution, a straight-to-DVD offering that is largely cobbled together from the spare parts of other junky action flicks. The film stars Steven Seagal, who was a very bad man on-screen during his early '90s heyday. John wants to do one good thing before his time is up; coincidentally, all I want is for Seagal to make one action movie that at least comes close to recapturing the spark that made him a star. Absolution is not that film.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on July 9th, 2015
There's a moment about halfway through Slow West where the two main characters partake in some absinthe. What follows is a disquietingly vivid dream and our two “heroes” essentially wobbling around until sobering up the next morning.The sequence is actually a pretty perfect encapsulation of what it feels like to watch Slow West, a woozy and refreshingly off-center entry into the Western canon.
“Once upon a time, 1870 to be exact, a 16-year-old kid traveled from the cold shoulder of Scotland to the baking heart of America to find his love.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 8th, 2015
“I'm not a scientist, although I do play one on TV occasionally. Ok...hell, more than occasionally.”
The “I'm not a _____, but I play one on TV” catchphrase transcended its humble origins to become the go-to, jokey line for anybody who feels empowered to speak outside their area of expertise. Merchants of Doubt, however, isn't concerned with soap opera actors trying to sell Vicks on television. Instead, this flashy, funny, well-researched documentary examines the select group of people who present themselves as scientific authorities to the public. It also argues that they purposefully create confusion with the goal of maintaining a very lucrative status quo.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 7th, 2015
Maggie is a slow zombie movie. You might assume I'm describing where this film falls on the fast zombie vs. slow zombie spectrum. (For the record, the monsters in Maggie do move at a decidedly deliberate pace.) However, the deliberate pace also applies to the way first-time director Henry Hobson unfurls his story in this bleak zombie drama. Everybody in this film — including a playing-against-type Arnold Schwarzenegger — shuffles and lumbers their way through their lives, whether or not they've been infected with a lethal virus. In other words, this is pretty much the last thing you'd expect from a movie that has both Schwarzenegger and zombies...and that's a big reason of why I dig it.
The action picks up a few months after the worldwide outbreak of the Necroambulist virus. I find this to be a curious and interesting time to check in on a global catastrophe. (Think 28 Weeks Later.) Most films either dramatize this sort outbreak as it's happening and our heroes try to prevent it, or they are post-apocalyptic stories that don't begin until well after the world has been laid to waste. As a result, Maggie can probably be best described as “mid-apocalyptic.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2015
"During the long, dark period of the Great Wars, an elite class of soldier rose from battle. Their unbreakable code was simple: possess a noble heart of courage, right conduct, and absolute devotion to one's master. From out of those years of bloodshed an empire would emerge. Its power would assimilate persons of every color, creed, and faith. This uncontested rule eroded the traditions of the great knights... but not for all."
Last Knights is an ambitious direct-to-video production. It sports a rather elite class of actors headed by Morgan Freeman, who adds a ton of gravitas to any role he plays. The sets and computer-generated extensions provide the film a rather stirring environment in which to tell an epic tale that owes more than a little to the classic Ronin 47 story. The snow-driven locations in the Czech Republic provide that final sweet element that takes this film far above the usual kinds of films we find in the direct-to-video market.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on July 2nd, 2015
“Anybody can jump a motorcycle. The trouble begins when you try to land it.”
There's a segment in I Am Evel Knievel that features some of Knievel's contemporaries — along with a few of the younger extreme sports athletes he inspired — breaking down just how difficult it is to jump a motorcycle across vast distances. (Especially when you're using relatively primitive equipment the way Knievel was.) Long story short, the crucial components are guts and a mental makeup that doesn't allow you to overthink or dwell on the insanity of what you're about to do. This entertaining documentary succeeds in illustrating how Knievel had both of those qualities in spades.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 29th, 2015
"There's always a consequence for breaking the rules."
Maybe that's why the crew from The Lazarus Effect decided to use all of the rules and conventions in the book without daring to really break any new ground of its own. By the time I was finished with the film, I felt like I had watched several horror movies at the same time. It's most intentionally Frankenstein meets Flatliners meets insert-your-favorite-ghost/possession-movie meets every-Stephen-King-film-ever-made. With all of that at its fingertips and a pretty bright cast, all The Lazarus Effect could do was raise itself to mediocrity.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on June 29th, 2015
It honestly took me a while to get over the opening shot of The Forger. The shot itself is rather unremarkable: it's a simple close-up of star John Travolta sitting in a small room by himself and staring straight ahead. But between his ridiculously obvious wig and the waxy texture of his face — the actor now looks like he's wearing a Michael Myers-style “John Travolta” mask — I knew it was going to be pretty difficult to take him seriously, no matter who or what was playing. It's a shame because there's actually a pretty decent family drama to be found within The Forger.
Turns out Travolta is playing Ray Cutter, a Boston-based, world-class art forger who has 10 months remaining on a five-year prison sentence. With the light at the end of the tunnel in sight, Ray suddenly decides 10 months is too long to wait, so he makes a deal with local crime boss Keegan (Anson Mount) to pay off a judge and get out of prison early. In exchange, Keegan forces Ray to forge Claude Monet's “Woman with a Parasol”, steal the real thing from a local museum, and replace it with the forgery. So why would Ray indebt himself to a volatile mobster instead of merely serving out the rest of his sentence?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 26th, 2015
"In these mountains roams one of the rarest species on our planet. A shy, elusive, and gentle creature: the giant panda."
If you are old enough you will remember President Richard Nixon's famous trip the China. He was the first President to make the voyage, and it was heralded as a foreign policy breakthrough for the nation. Long after, the hoopla had died down and the only time it seemed Nixon was in the news was for Watergate. But even amid the scandal, one bright legacy of that trip remained for years to come. That was, of course, the Chinese gift to the United States to celebrate the event. We received two pandas named Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing that would capture the hearts of a nation even as Nixon was losing them. We all paid close attention as various attempts were made to mate the animals. Unfortunately, there were only five successful matings, and the pups only lived a few days at most. It was a disappointing end to a marvelous story. The pandas did live into the 1990's, breaking records to panda lifespans outside of China. Today there are new pandas at the National Zoo, and they have given birth to pups that have been returned to China based on the deal we brokered to get them. You can still see those guys today.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on June 25th, 2015
“Jihadists are people too!” That’s probably the big, blinking takeaway from Timbuktu, director Abderrahmane Sissako’s Oscar-nominated drama about the occupation of the titular city by extreme Islamists. But it’s also the most reductive possible interpretation of a film that doesn’t shy away from portraying some of the beauty in thoroughly ugly circumstances. More importantly, Timbuktu tells a volatile story with tremendous grace.
“Here, in Timbuktu, he who dedicates himself to religion uses his head and not his weapons.”
