Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on December 31st, 2015
“We're in hell.”
The Blu-ray cover for Bone Tomahawk features a grizzled Kurt Russell donning a cowboy hat. That image immediately indicated to me that I would be in steady, exceedingly capable hands for the forthcoming Western adventure. What I didn't necessarily expect was for Bone Tomahawk to also deliver one of the more frightening, engrossing, and pulse-pounding movie-watching experiences of the year.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on August 4th, 2015
Feel like your girlfriend can be a little clingy? You've got nothing on Max, the slacker at the center of Burying the Ex. The movie operates in a genre — mixing broad comedy and horror — that has been largely (and sadly) missing from the big screen for the better part of two decades. That's why I was delighted to see that the man at the helm here is none other than Joe Dante (1978's Piranha, Gremlins 1 and 2), who has made some of the best horror comedies of all time. Burying the Ex isn't near that level, but it's still a fun and welcome diversion.
Max (Anton Yelchin) is a 20-something underachiever who works as a clerk in a horror-themed shop. His big goal in life is...to open up *his own* horror-themed shop! Max's live-in girlfriend is Evelyn (Ashley Greene), a hardcore environmentalist with a type-A personality. Everyone's in Max's life — especially his boorish half brother Travis (Oliver Cooper) — can see Evelyn isn't the girl for him. The only person who can't see this is Evelyn herself, who seizes on Max's promise that they'll be together forever. The good news for Max is that he doesn't have to go through the awkwardness of a breakup. The bad news is Max dodges that bullet because Evelyn is killed in a freak accident right before he can dump her. The worst news is his promise that they would be together forever was made shortly after a satanic genie arrived in the shop where Max works.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on May 14th, 2015
“To truly know a man, you must walk in his shoes.”
On the lone special feature of any substance included on this Blu-ray, director/co-writer Thomas McCarthy admits The Cobbler was inspired by the well-known idiom listed above. I’m all for getting as many original ideas on the big screen as possible. But even if you don’t think basing a feature film on a popular saying is a shaky proposition, The Cobbler severely underwhelms because it totally fails to capitalize on its high-concept premise in an intriguing way.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on December 9th, 2014
“I wish...”
There's no shortage of wishing (not to mention pining, longing, yearning, etc.) in some of our most beloved fairy tales. Into the Woods — the Tony-winning Broadway musical created by Stephen Sondheim and frequent collaborator James Lapine — illustrates what happens when certain characters get their storybook ending. Since there's a big, shiny Disney adaptation on the way, it made sense for Image Entertainment to offer a performance of the stage show on Blu-ray. However, I wish...some more effort had been put into this release.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on October 2nd, 2014
Despite its found-footage conceit and similar-sounding title, The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill is somewhat of a different demon animal than a certain recent horror franchise. Given that found-footage fatigue seems to be setting in among critics and audiences, any sort of deviation from the norm should be welcome. The problem is this film ultimately doesn’t deviate far enough and hedges its bets with a climax that seems transplanted in from a handful of other movies. More importantly, viewers will probably be too bored to even care by the time movie gets around to being scary.
The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill, like many of its horror brethren, is “based on true events.” (I cannot emphasize those quotation marks strongly enough.) What does help the film stand apart is its real-life spooky setting. In 2010, a group of filmmakers sets out to explore and document the haunted history of St. Mary’s Church in Clophill, a quaint English village. That history includes rumors of Satanic rituals and ghostly apparitions. As a result, Clophill and its church have become a popular attraction for grave robbers and people interested in the macabre.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on September 1st, 2014
The backwoods flesh-eating disease film Cabin Fever was writer/ director Eli Roth’s first dip into horror and helped establish Roth as one of the “it” guys of the industry despite having a limited film catalog. The film’s cringe-worthy deaths, not to mention the memorable bathtub sequence, made the film an overnight sensation, and when talk of a potential sequel came out, I was more than a little excited. Picking up the reins for Roth would be another young rising star of the horror genre, Ti West. The film made a valiant attempt at capitalizing on the fame of the original, but it just never made the connection with audiences. Now we have the third entry in the Cabin Fever saga, Cabin Fever: Patient Zero. This time the film trades in its familiar backwoods local on a tropical paradise in the Caribbean.
When you see the title Patient Zero, you go into this with the hopes that this would be the film to have the big reveal as to how the virus managed to make its way to a lake in the middle of the woods in the outskirts of a small mountain town. Or you would be like me and have your fingers crossed for more fun from the party guy himself, Deputy Winston. Unfortunately, we get no familiar faces, but instead two separate storylines that we know inevitably will cross over.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on March 12th, 2014
British badass Craig Fairbrass looks more like the henchman in an action movie than the hero. (To be fair, Fairbrass looks like the lead henchman who always gives the hero a little more trouble than you’d expect, but he looks like a henchman nonetheless.) The actor has worked steadily in England and Hollywood, including a role in Cliffhanger where he played one of John Lithgow’s (you guessed it) henchmen. With The Outsider, Fairbrass earns a story credit and the right to play the hero in this junky, bruising, low-budget cross between Taken and The Limey.
Fairbrass plays Lex Walker (strong name), an English mercenary who receives word that his estranged daughter Samantha has been found dead in Los Angeles. When he arrives to identify the body, he discovers the dead girl in the morgue is not Samantha. The good news is his daughter isn’t actually dead, but the bad news is she’s still missing. Lex goes on a brutish warpath through Los Angeles in search of Samantha. Along the way he enlists the help of her boyfriend Ricky (Johnny Messner) and Margo (Shannon Elizabeth), an opportunistic acquaintance of Samantha’s. Lex’s investigation puts him on a collision course with Schuuster (James Caan), Samantha’s shady former employer, and Det. Klein (Jason Patric), who is trying to solve the mystery behind Samantha’s non-murder.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by J C on January 7th, 2014
We all know looks can be deceiving, but Voodoo Possession takes that notion to the extreme. Almost nothing about the film’s DVD cover art correlates to what you’ll actually see on screen. Cult favorite Danny Trejo gets top billing despite playing a largely inconsequential role in the story. (You know a movie’s in trouble when it’s banking on Trejo’s star power; even the Machete movies relied mostly on stunt casting.) The cover is dominated by someone who looks like Samara from The Ring standing in front of Shutter Island. (Naturally, the girl has nothing to do with this movie.) At least there is, in fact, voodoo in this occasionally intriguing, ultimately lousy low-budget horror flick.
The film follows Aiden (Ryan Caltagirone), a troubled young man who travels to Haiti with his on-again/off-again tabloid reporter girlfriend Bree (Kerry Knuppe) to search for his missing brother Cody (David Thomas Jenkins). Cody is a doctor who had set up shop in an abandoned hospital, where he was exploring the medical effects of voodoo before he went missing. How does Danny Trejo play into all of this? Well, he really doesn’t. Trejo “stars” as Kross, the dubious hospital administrator/exposition machine we see working alongside Dr. Cody in video files discovered by Aiden and Co.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 4th, 2013
Galactic Adventures from Image Entertainment is a nifty little collection of two Solar System IMAX films both running just under a half hour. The two short documentaries off a 3D ride to both the Sun and Mars. The films were produced in 2007 with 3D Sun opening at The Smithsonian's Air & Space Museum. Both films have made the circuit of science museums throughout the country and come to you now through the modern milestone of home 3D for the first time ever.
3D Sun:
