Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 15th, 2012
I was flipping through the latest issue of Sad Trombone magazine the other day, and it contained an article revealing — through entirely unscientific research — that the general consensus appears to be, "People suck." As a result, I was already in the proper mindset when I sat down to watch The Divide, probably the most pessimistic movie of the past year.
After a nuclear attack, a group of nine survivors huddle in the basement of their apartment building. They are initially led by Mickey (Michael Biehn, looking like his Aliens co-star Lance Henriksen these days), the building's profane, racist, anti-social superintendent. With absolutely zero communication with the outside world, the days go by and the secluded group — which is afraid to go outside because of the potential for radiation poisoning — gets hungrier, crankier and more desperate. (Oddly enough, that's exactly how I got the last time I went camping overnight in a tiny tent.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 13th, 2012
Most of us first heard about camel spiders in the early 1990's during the first Gulf War. Apparently, these 6-inch bugs were causing quite a stir with the troops and were responsible for as many horror stories as the war itself. We were told they were instantly deadly and could grow to enormous sizes in a matter of days. Rumors had it that the creatures were killing machines that roamed the Middle Eastern deserts feeding off camels of all things. Or humans if they got in the way.
Of course, the reality is that none of it is true. They aren't even really spiders. They don't have any poison at all, and they only grow to about six inches. Turns out that the camels are perfectly safe, as well. None of that comes as too much of a surprise to me. What does amaze me is that it took this long for someone to make a monster movie about the critters. And, if you're surprised that it was Roger Corman who did it, you don't know very much about the history of the B horror film.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 12th, 2012
- "I have a question for you. You're some random guy from the city, no one in the zoo community has ever heard of you. You know nothing about animals and you moved into a dump...why did you buy this place?"
- "Why not?"
Following the death of his beloved wife, Benjamin Mee does what any reasonable man would do under the same circumstances: he quits his job and moves his family into a zoo. I suspect you'll enjoy this movie a lot more if you simply shrug your shoulders and say, "Why not?" We Bought a Zoo certainly can't be accused of running away from its ridiculous-sounding title and premise, even though it's based on the true story chronicled in Mee's memoir of the same name.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 12th, 2012
"They're gonna rock the boat"
The Chipmunks began life oddly enough as a singing group, of sorts. They were the brainchild of struggling songwriter Ross Bagdasarian and were named after the three chief executives at Liberty records. His own alter ego David Seville’s name came from his World War II Army station in Spain. The Chipmunks first appeared in a 1958 record called The Witch Doctor, but wouldn’t officially become The Chipmunks until later that year when The Chipmunks Christmas Song was released. It is for that Christmas music that I most remember the group. They first appeared as puppets on The Ed Sullivan Show. Alvin and the boys got their own television show in 1961. When Ross died in 1972, the Chipmunks would continue on under the guidance of his son. In 1983 The Chipmunks had yet another popular cartoon show and had appeared in countless specials and films. Today they are pretty much a hallmark at the holidays, and a Christmas song collection just wouldn’t be complete without them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 11th, 2012
Holy chick flicks, Batman! Aye, the torture! Even all of the previews on this disc are chick flicks. There are very few that I can stand. Mostly, because they do not follow the usual chick flick script. Will this one be one I can get behind? I guess we will see. If anything I can get behind watching Hugh Jackman for a few hours. Though, looking at the cover, I prefer him as Wolverine. Oh yes. Enough drooling, on with the show.
We start with a man giving a speech about time in an earlier century. Leopold (Hugh Jackman) is in the crowd doing a sketch drawing of the monument behind the speaker. Stewart (Liev Schreiber) is laughing because the man speaking is talking wildly about the “erection” of this new monument. Heh heh, hey Beavis... He said... Erection! Leopold goes home and gets ready for a party. He is getting dressed and his uncle is talking about his need to take on a wife. He tells him what a failure he is and how he needs to marry someone with a lot of money in order to make himself useful to the family. This kind of sounds familiar... Anywho, he is told to announce his bride tonight. Or else! Dun dun dun!
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 11th, 2012
War Horse began life as a novel by Michael Morpurgo and went on to become a relatively successful Broadway play. I haven't read the book, and it's hard for me to imagine the material on the stage. But in the hands of Steven Spielberg there is little left to the imagination. This is definitely one of his most inspired films and contains some of the more beautiful and compelling images. That's saying a lot when you think about the many iconic images Spielberg has brought us from ET to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park and the great white shark in Jaws. Yes, the images rank right up there. Unfortunately, the film itself doesn't come close.
The story begins with the birth of Joey, a thoroughbred horse. But this is not really the beginning of the story, is it? Joey is sent to auction where drunkard farmer Ted Narracott (Mullan) falls in love with the impractical animal. Helped by the taunts of his landlord Lyons (Thewlis) he bids too much for the animal and wins him. The problem is that he needed a working horse to plow his fields, and Joey isn't going to make wife Rose (Watson) very happy at all. But his son Albert (Irvine) instantly sees what his father saw and falls in love with Joey. He promises to train him. If he can't the family will lose their farm. But even this isn't really where the story begins.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 11th, 2012
Bob Newhart may not have a ton of range as a comic actor, but the television personalities he created in both The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart were lovable enough to bring great success to both of the shows. One could safely admit that he was really playing the same character in both, and the final episode of Newhart pretty much acknowledged that fact with one of the more clever series finales in television history. So, with two pretty solid hits under his belt, it wasn't a complete surprise to see the comic enter our living rooms once again in 1992 just a couple of years after his last show finished its run. The name could have been just as predictable: Bob.
Bob McKay (Newhart) had once created a comic book hero named Mad Dog. It was about a vet who conducted experiments with the adrenal gland of a Doberman. The result was a new superhero with the enhanced senses of a dog. The comic lasted just 12 issues and quickly faded into obscurity. During that time Bob was putting his artistic talents to use with a greeting card company, a job he hated. Along comes Mr. Terhorst (Cumpsty) whom we never see. He's always just a voice over the speaker phone. He's bought ACE Comics and wants to hire Bob to bring back Mad Dog. It's the chance of a lifetime, except he's teamed with Harlan Stone (Cygan) who grew up a Mad Dog fan but now has some radical ideas for the new book. Bob has to constantly rein him in to save the integrity of the hero. The office also includes Albie (Bilgore) who is the office gofer. He's shy and completely inept in social situations. There's Chad (Fall) the comic's colorist who is a super geek. Iris (Kobart) is the old crotchety woman who letters the book. His daughter Trisha (Stevenson) comes to work for the team as well. At home is faithful wife Kaye (Watkins) and their lively cat Otto.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on April 10th, 2012
Ben Affleck's dating life wreaked plenty of havoc on the moviegoing public during the early part of the 2000s. We all know about the infamous Gigli and Jersey Girl debacles with Jennifer Lopez. (It didn't even matter that J. Lo was barely in Jersey Girl — which actually has a few cute moments — or that the indefensible Gigli was just a deeply weird flick which happened to star two of the world's most famous, romantically-involved movie stars.) The film usually left off this dubious category is Bounce, a soggy romantic drama starring Affleck and former squeeze Gwyneth Paltrow. Although the pair — who, to be fair, also appeared together in the Oscar-winning Shakespeare in Love — keep this movie watchable, there's a reason Affleck mostly focuses on directing these days and hasn't made a movie with Jennifer Garner since they got married.
Affleck stars as hot-shot ad man Buddy Amaral. (We know he's a hot-shot because he speaks quickly, brashly and constantly has a drink in his hand...Mad Men taught me that.) After scoring a major account with an airline in Chicago, Buddy is stranded at the airport with a hottie (Natasha Henstridge) and friendly family man Greg (Tony Goldwyn). Greg allows himself to get bumped from the flight so he can use the airline compensation to take his family on vacation at a later date. Once the flight starts boarding, Buddy gives Greg his ticket so Greg can go home to his family sooner, but mostly so Buddy can hook up with the hottie at the airport hotel. The plane crashes, killing everyone on board.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on April 10th, 2012
I have read more than my fair share of comic books. In recent years, I made the jump into graphic novels which are basically the same thing with a fancy cover. There is also another trend that I have seen from time to time in the last several years, digital comics on dvd (and occasionally blu-ray). The concept of taking a comic, adding voices, sound effects and a little motion and coming out with a product that can reach new and old audiences. Let us take a look at Astonishing X-Men: Dangerous.
A female voice lets us know that something is coming, they can feel it. The view shifts to a young man who goes by the codename, Wing. He is a soon to be former X-Men in training. At one point in his life, he had the ability to fly. However, due to events not explained he lost that ability and in the process, he lost his will to live. He stands over a cliff and hopes for the powers to come back.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by M. W. Phillips on April 10th, 2012
“Don't you ever touch the sacrificial fluids... okey dokey?”
“Okey dokey” indeed; in 1985, director Josh Becker gathered his friends, including Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, and they shot Thou Shalt Not Kill… Except in Detroit around Campbell’s childhood home. Working with a microscopic budget, they created a tribute to the savage exploitation films of the sixties and seventies, full of bad lighting, crappy sets, leaden acting, cheap makeup gags, horrible dialog, and a certain goofy infectious fun.
