I am a huge fan of the horror genre. Very rarely will I turn a horror film down, no matter how bad it is. This commitment begs the question: what exactly makes a horror film bad? (Although my aim for that question is to be rhetorical, I hope to answer that question through this review of Appetites.) As a horror fan, you typically read the cover of the DVD and already know what you are getting into (for the most part). You decide to lend your time to the film, knowing full well that the odds of watching the next Halloween or The Shining are not in your favor. Regardless, you pop the disc into the player and begin your journey into the unknown, hoping to watch something worth your time. Enter Appetites.

The run-of-the-mill plot summaries of Appetites read as follows:

Blackbird follows high school senior Randy Rousseau (Julian Walker) as he comes to terms with his sexuality growing up in a small, conservative, Southern Baptist town. To make matters worse, his mother, Claire (Mo’Nique), never quite recovered from the kidnapping of her daughter six years prior; causing her husband (Isaiah Washington) to leave the family. In an effort to make a rather loaded story accessible in a brief synopsis, several other dramas unfold within Randy’s circle of friends: Randy experiments with his sexuality, his secret crush is dating the town pastor’s daughter, and he joins a group of college filmmakers in an effort to find comfort in his true sexuality.

The acting in this film is its greatest strength. Julian Walker delivers a beautiful performance as a confused homosexual teenager, and he also is given plenty of opportunity to show off his wonderful singing voice. Watching him perform the nuances of that specific confusion is probably the most fun part of the film. Given that he is actually an amateur actor in his first feature film, I hope to see much more of him in future films. Speaking more to his natural talent as an actor, his chemistry with other actors is wonderful, particularly Isaiah Washington (his father), Torrey Laamar (his secret crush, Todd), and Kevin Allessee (his lover, Lance). I’d say my favorite of the three is the relationship between son and father.

"In New York City on a street in the East Forties there is an ordinary tailor shop. Or is it ordinary? We enter through the agents' entrance, and we are now in U.N.C.L.E. headquarters. U.N.C.L.E. is an international organization consisting of agents of all nationalities. It's involved in maintaining political and legal order anywhere in the world."

Say Uncle. That’s U.N.C.L.E., otherwise known as the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement. Starting in 1964, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was one of a flurry of shows to take advantage of the new James Bond craze. It featured many of the same elements as the super-spy films. You had sophisticated spies in tuxedos. There were plenty of gadgets. And there were constant threats of world domination, mostly from the evil counter organization, THRUSH. The two top spies for the good guys were Napoleon Solo (Vaughn) and Illya Kuryakin (McCallum). The Bond references were never subtle and always intentional. Ian Fleming himself consulted on the show and named Napoleon Solo after a Bond character. Together Solo and Kuryakin would travel around the globe, saving the world from almost certain doom. The series ran for four years. In 1983 there was talk of bringing the show back. Apparently the two stars were still up to the task, and both could have used the work. Thus was born the television film and potential pilot: The Return Of The Man From U.N.C.L.E.: The Fifteen Year Affair. The pilot didn't take off, and the project appeared dead until it was revived once again as a feature film reboot of the franchise ala Mission: Impossible. There was also a short-lived spinoff called The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. that starred Stephanie Powers as the first female field agent for the organization.