Brent Lorentson

When I first got this DVD with my stack to review I treated it like I do with most films; I go in with little to no expectations, and whatever the result is at least I can’t be left too disappointed.  I love action films, and I’m a big fan or martial arts films, so when I see the name Gordon Liu in the credits, well, I at least know I have a little something to get excited about.  After all, Liu kind of has a cool pass in my book since doing The 36^th Chamber of Shaolin movies. But to deliver a good movie, you need more than just an appearance by a martial arts legend, and really that’s all Blood Money brings to the table.
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Revenant: one who returns from the dead in corporeal form

Back in 2009 when I was in Austin, Texas for the Fantastic Fest (a genre film festival they hold every year) I was lucky enough to catch this film  and it was one of the standout films of the festival.  Since that night I’ve been waiting and waiting for this to finally get a theatrical release, and now three years later The Revenant has finally found its way onto DVD.  With all the vampire and zombie films that have been released over the past few years ,it is still a mystery why it took so long for this film to find a wide release.
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“Juan of the dead we kill your loved ones”

This is one of those movies I had heard about but was beginning to wonder if I’d ever get a chance to watch.  The notion of Cuba releasing a zombie comedy just kind of shocked me.  To be honest I didn’t even know they had a production company down there.  So when I noticed this title had come in to be reviewed at the Upcomingdiscs headquarters, I jumped on this, willing to fight off hordes of zombies if need be.  Thankfully there were no masses of the undead to be dispatched, and this title was mine to review.
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It seems the new recycled trend in horror is the exorcism/ possession genre.  For me personally this is the only horror genre that tends to get to me, since I was brought up Catholic and the thought of the devil possessing me was thought to be a very real possibility.  The strange thing is The Exorcist seems to be the only film that I would consider great and would even say it’s one of the greatest horror films of all time.  Many films have tried to deliver, but in the end the films seem to just fall flat, the closest being The Last Exorcism though that film also has its fair share of naysayers.
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It would be fair to say Lewis Black is not for everyone.  When in the mood for comedy, few people would decide on watching an old man rant and rave on a stage to the point you expect him to simply keel over from a self induced heart attack.  You won’t find any puppets or redneck humor when watching one of Black’s routines.  In fact what you can expect is at some point to maybe get a little upset if not outright offended.  But that’s okay.  He knows his routine is not for everyone, so much so in fact he even opens this show with a note of warning about what to expect from his show.  And then the anger-fueled rants continue from there.
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“It’s times like this you need to think like a stoner.”

It’s not every day you get the chance to say the quote above and apply it with conviction.  But when you watch High School or any other “stoner” movie, you simply have to view them through smoke-filled glasses or the viewing experience will be in vain.  Kind of like watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show, as a movie it’s bad, but when you see it with a live performing act it becomes a completely new experience. 
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Watching this film is like unearthing a time capsule, not just to another time, but what seems like another world.  It’s crazy to see how much has changed since this film’s original theatrical release back in 1975.  One moment that stuck out in particular: when they are driving along the streets of Los Angeles you might notice a sign at a gas station posting gas at 56 cents a gallon.  This is a family that is already sick of life in the big city.  I can only imagine how they would react to big city life now; would they run further into the hills or simply accept the advances in modern technology?
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After solar storms ravage the earth causing the soil to overheat and scorch our forests, the few who survive are left in a barren wasteland that stretches across the globe.  The concept is an impressive one to explain the desert world we are first introduced to in the opening moments of Hell, though what’s more impressive is how this low-budget, post-apocalyptic film managed this look with simple camera tricks.  With Roland Emmerich involved as executive producer, you may be expecting big-budget recreations of famous landmarks exploding and wiped away in a giant tidal wave.
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It’s not often, if ever that you’ll find me looking forward to a Hallmark Channel movie.  I have nothing against a good romance or sappy family dramas; it’s just that guys for the most part are not the target demographic.  To get to the point, this film is the chick flick guys fear being made to watch after losing the battle at the Red Box when all the other appealing titles are out and the wife or girlfriend is in no mood for action.  But thankfully the film isn’t all bad, and in fact it’s actually decent with the exception of a few clichés along the way.
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As the credits rolled for this film I struggled to remember the last time I’ve been so relieved that a movie had finally come to an end.  Christian Slater and Donald Sutherland are so much better than this. Can things really be so bad that they are slumming to do this “D” grade action nonsense?  I understand a gig is a gig, but these guys used to be at least marketable names to the box office.  They still have the talent and swagger to steal a scene, so why subject them to this?  Before I digress any further, allow me to take a breath…
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“I guess I kinda always liked cutting stuff up.”

Maybe it’s a little weird to admit this, but I dig movies where the characters are put in the position where they need to dispose of a body.  This is something of a sub-genre plot device that worked so well in Shallow Grave as well as Very Bad Things.  Sure, most of us would go ahead and call the police and report the body or the accidental homicide, but I always found these films amusing when they decide to let their characters do the wrong thing.
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From the title alone it will either induce an eye roll or peak your curiosity.  I have a soft spot for fun cheesy horror, and with the tease of potential nudity well, this seemed like it would be a good time.  Turns out I had way more fun watching this movie than I expected; it was actually pretty good.  By no stretch of the imagination is this a brilliant slasher, but a solid B-movie that would have made Roger Corman and Lloyd Kaufman proud.
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Ever wonder what Herman Melville’s classic tale Moby Dick would have been like if instead of a white whale Ahab was obsessed with but a giant white dragon?  Well, then you’re in luck, because that is exactly what Age of Dragons is, a literal remake of the classic but with dragons.  At first I found this idea pretty awesome, and heck it even has Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon) with Vinnie Jones(X-Men Last Stand); what could possibly go wrong?  Sadly, a lot can go wrong.
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Going into this film all I really knew was that it was written and directed by Mario Van Peebles (New Jack City) and a vague memory of the trailer I caught on a previous DVD I reviewed.   One look at the unappealing cover and it had me thinking I got stuck with a low-budget Step Up knockoff, and I just really wasn’t looking forward to this film, but I do try and stay optimistic, because sometimes you never know when something good may come along.  This is one of those films.
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“Loyalty is what you can hold in your hand.”

I know it doesn’t completely fill the bill as a pirate film, but ever since I saw The Goonies up on the big screen I became obsessed with all things pirate related.  Even one of the first books I read as a child was the Robert Louis Stevenson classic Treasure Island.  The bad part with being an 80’s kid was growing up in an era where pirate films simply were hard to come by, and when they did they weren’t very good; I’m looking at you Cutthroat Island. 
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Just to forewarn you this is not a review for the mini-series that aired on the History channel with Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton.  Instead this is for the bad knockoff that seems to have been released just in time to catch any spillover interest from the Costner version.  So how does this version of the battle between the two feuding families hold up?  Well, not so good, and I’m being generous in saying that.
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A serial killer is on the loose in New York dispatching up-and-coming hip hop artists.  Is it a feud between rappers, a crazed fan, or is it all part of a conspiracy connecting all the homicides involving rappers reaching back to the days of Tupac and the Notorious BIG?  Chances are if you’re anything like me you couldn’t care less.  I take rappers about as seriously as Carrot Top, and I’m willing to wager it’s Carrot that has more talent.  But people still enjoy the music, and as long as the fans are happy that’s all that matters.
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