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Hellbenders 3D (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 25th, 2014

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“Don’t mess with a man of God.”

It has been said that an old vaudevillian was on his deathbed and was asked how he was doing. He replied, “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard”. And no, it wasn’t Shia LaBeof. The fact is that comedy is easy. Horror comedy is hard…very hard. One needs only to look at the lame attempts each year to make us laugh at the carnage. For every Shaun Of The Dead there are 100 Vampire In Brooklyn‘s Let’s not even talk about the last Scream entry.
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Nebraska (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 24th, 2014

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Bruce Dern is the one generating the greatest praise. June Squibb (About Schmidt) who plays Dern’s wife has also gotten multiple nominations. Woody Grant (Dern) is seen at the start of the film walking the winter roads of Billings, Montana. It is his intention to walk to Lincoln, Nebraska. The local police pick him up, and we are introduced to his son, David (Will Forte). The heart and soul of the movie is watching Dern and Forte interact. Forte is best known for acting silly as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, but his performance in this film is perfect.
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Game of Thrones: The Complete Third Season (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 20th, 2014

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“If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”

Even if Game of Thrones had inexplicably wrapped its run after two stellar seasons, the HBO series would’ve gone down as a landmark in television history because of its unprecedented scale and audacious storytelling. But then fans wouldn’t have gotten season 3, an adaptation of (roughly) the first half of “A Storm of Swords”, the third novel in George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series. “A Storm of Swords” is considered the “Empire Strikes Back” of Martin’s novels, which is a terrifying prospect considering the “Empire” in the world of Thrones has been “striking back” since the very first episode.
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Battle of the Damned (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 19th, 2014

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“Zombies…killer robots…nice town you got here.”

If nothing else, filmmaker Christopher Hatton definitely thought outside the box in his attempt to spice up the lumbering zombie genre. The random appearance of killer robots about halfway through the film is such an out-of-leftfield move — assuming you started watching this movie without looking at its Blu-ray cover (and, no…Dolph Lundgren is *not* one of the robots) — that I actually found it to be inspired. It’s a good thing too because the rest of Battle of the Damned is essentially a low-budget, paint splatter-by-numbers survival flick.
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The Americans: The Complete First Season (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 17th, 2014

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“…Super secret spies living next door. They look like us. They speak better English than we do. I mean, come on. Someone’s been reading too many spy novels.”

And now someone has expertly taken the cloak-and-dagger intrigue of a great spy novel, transplanted it onto our television screens, and called it The Americans. While the show is very clearly set during the Reagan era, its complex, multi-layered portrayal of the human beings on both sides of the Cold War makes it feel thrillingly alive today.
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Baggage Claim (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 13th, 2014

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Paula Patton has managed to stand out on the big screen alongside Hollywood heavyweights like Denzel Washington (Déjà Vu, 2 Guns) and Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol), but she’s still probably best known for being married to Beetle-douche. That’s why I was hoping Baggage Claim, her first big solo starring vehicle, would be so much better than it turned out to be. It’s tempting to dismiss it as just another corny, clichéd romantic comedy, and forget about it until it pops up on TBS two years from now. But the film squanders too much appealing talent — and insults the audience’s intelligence too often — to let it off the hook quite so easily.
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The Jungle Book (Diamond Edition) (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 11th, 2014

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There are two very distinctive schools of thought about Walt Disney’s The Jungle Book. There are the Kipling fanatics who have never forgiven Disney for taking a story considered sacred in literary circles and creating something that honestly bears (pardon the pun) little resemblance to the original work. These folks rightfully point out that the story contains almost nothing recognizable about the story and characters from Kipling’s beloved classic. I have often condemned projects that take names like The Night Stalker and Battlestar Galactica and create a vision incompatible with the traditions I associate with them.
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Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth

Posted in No Huddle by J C on February 11th, 2014

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“I know many of you are probably wondering, ‘What the hell is Mike Tyson gonna do up here on stage tonight,’ right? Frankly, I’m wondering the same thing too.”

If you or I decided to get a face tattoo, it would almost definitely be the craziest thing that’s ever happened to either of us. On the other hand, I’m not sure Mike Tyson’s now-infamous facial ink even cracks the Top 5 list of most insane things he’s ever said or done. That very unpredictability is what makes him an ideal, endlessly compelling subject for a one-man show.
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The Inn of the Sixth Happiness (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 10th, 2014

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“You have to interfere in what is wrong to make it right.”

When a movie is described as a “timeless classic,” the implication is the film contains a level of artistic merit and cross-generational appeal that has made it relevant decades after its release, and will make it watchable decades from now. The flip side is the type of film that is very much of the time it was created. Despite what ought to be a universal message about caring for one another, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness — making a welcome debut on Blu-ray as part of the Fox Studio Classics series — belongs in the latter category.
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Escape Plan (Blu-Ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Jeremy Butler on February 7th, 2014

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“A successful breakout depends on three things: Layout, Routine, and Outside Help.”

You know, there was a time when the public could only dream of an Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone team-up. Now thanks to a little film called The Expendables, when it comes to the realm of action star team-ups, anything is possible. Case in point: Escape Plan. When this film was first announced, I figure it would be devoid of any real substance and just another attempt to capitalize on the success of Expendables
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Scorned (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 6th, 2014

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“Don’t try to figure this out…I’m just a crazy, horny bitch.”

This column strongly opposes cheating on your significant other. But if you absolutely can’t help yourself, you’ve got to be smarter about it than the numbskull played by Billy Zane in this film. In Scorned — a junky, over-the-top cross between Fatal Attraction and Misery — his girlfriend is an admitted manic-depressive who regularly takes as much medication as she can stuff in her purse. So what exactly did this dolt think would happen when she found out that he was sleeping with her best friend?
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Bonnie & Clyde (2013) (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 5th, 2014

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“Sometimes I like to think that fever of an unexpected origin, that I never came out of the other side. And that the rest of my life, none of it ever happened, especially that part where I got shot 37 times, giving my Bonnie Parker her big ending.”

When you’re telling the story of Bonnie and Clyde, it’s very hard to say anything new. The exploits of the pair were followed closely by the entire nation. Newspaper accounts and silver screen newsreels took advantage of every turn of events in the case
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The White Queen (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 4th, 2014

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“I’m match for any man.”

The idea that “behind every great man, there’s a great woman rolling her eyes” far predates its adoption as a feminist slogan in the middle of the previous century. The White Queen — a sumptuous, rushed combination of Game of Thrones-style high-stakes scheming and Tudors-style regal bodice ripping — uses Britain’s late medieval history as a jumping off point for pushing a number of notable women to the forefront.
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Afternoon Delight (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on February 3rd, 2014

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“How did the stripper get in the maid’s room?”

That question sounds like the set up for some juvenile, profane joke, but it also tidily encapsulates the plot of Afternoon Delight. The film is about the plight of an affluent, quietly desperate housewife who takes it upon herself to “rescue” a young, down-on-her-luck stripper. What the quote doesn’t quite capture is how this funny and frank outing from first-time feature filmmaker Jill Soloway is really about the universal quest for intimacy.
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Collision (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on January 30th, 2014

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Collision is ostensibly about a honeymooning couple who gets stranded in the desert, and how the harsh, unforgiving terrain shines a light on their many secrets. But the coolest thing about this thriller — besides the spectacularly violent car crash that sets the plot in motion and gives the film its title — is how the story could’ve been told from any of the marooned characters’ perspectives. I just wish writer/director David Marconi hadn’t taken the most winding, contrived road possible to arrive at his destination.
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Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Blu-ray 3D)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 29th, 2014

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“My name is Flint Lockwood. My whole life I always wanted to be a great inventor just like my hero. It was like Chester V. was speaking directly to me using the language of science.”

In 2009 Sony Pictures had finally learned to use the language of science when it comes to the world of animation. I’m talking the computer-animated feature film. Of course, they’ve been in the game for a while, but it was with the release of Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs that this reviewer believes they delivered on the kinds of things that Pixar and Dreamworks have been delivering
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Argento’s Dracula (Blu-ray 3D)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 29th, 2014

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“This evening I finally met Count Dracula. He is younger than I expected, although his behavior and his demeanor seem to somehow contradict his appearance.”

Dracula and vampires in general have taken on many appearances and personalities over the years. He has been portrayed as the suave European gentleman and a vicious gaunt creature best left to the shadows. Lately vampires have taken on the angst and yearnings of adolescence. Dracula has been around since 1897 when Bram Stoker wrote his groundbreaking novel.
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Treme: Complete Series (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Brent Lorentson on January 29th, 2014

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Creator David Simon (The Wire and Generation Kill) has never been a show runner concerned about cliffhangers or plot twists; instead he thrusts his viewers into the day-to-day life of the everyday Joe and shows that real life generates more conflict than most fiction can ever deliver. Ever since I first watched The Wire I’ve considered myself a fan of Simon’s work, and I feel it could be argued that what Simon did with The Wire is a large factor in why we have the quality of television that we do today
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The Fifth Estate (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 29th, 2014

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Journalism today is in disarray. I say that not because there aren’t many, many passionate journalists who want to do the best job possible. I say it because there are just many, many, many more bloggers who don’t know how live up to those standards or why it’s even important. The internet changes everything in the music industry, the movie industry, and the media industry. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. It just means that it’s chaotic, and it often seems like no one is in control
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Stonados

Posted in No Huddle by J C on January 28th, 2014

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“Stonados…I’ll be damned.”

They say if you’re going to steal, you should steal from the best. Well, that’s the exact opposite of what SyFy has done with the hilariously shameless act of self-cannibalization known as Stonados. Say what you will about Sharknado — and snarky commenters excitedly blew up Twitter shortly after its premiere — but at least that particular slice of premium B-movie cheese was inspired in its lunacy and stupidity. Stonados, on the other hand, is pretty obviously a way for the network to capitalize on the unexpected heat generated this past summer by the perfect shlock storm of Sharknado.
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Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 28th, 2014

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“One … two… Freddy’s coming for you, three… four… better lock the door, five… six… grab your crucifix, seven… eight better stay up late, nine….ten … Never Sleep Again.”

Freddy is one of the more memorable monsters from the slasher era that also brought us the Halloween and Jason films. Freddy might have been born in the mind of Wes Craven, but he grew and developed in the knife-wielding hands of Robert Englund. Granted, not all of these films are equal in quality. The first and third are the best story-wise, while the last might be the most unpredictable and original.
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The Prey (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on January 24th, 2014

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In the 1990s, the French action films of Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita, Leon: The Professional) and Euro-centric offerings like John Frankenheimer’s Ronin provided a sleeker, more exotic alternative to the outsize, muscle-bound exploits of Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Van Damme. Besides movies with the words “Fast” or “Furious” in their title, American action flicks have mostly moved away from lo-fi, knucklehead thrills and turned to PG-13 heroes in CGI adventures. Meanwhile, European filmmakers have stayed in their stylish, car/foot-chase-loving lane. The result is entertaining yarns like The Prey/La Proie, which stands out thanks to its thuddingly simple action movie pleasures.
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Crossing Lines: Season One (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on January 22nd, 2014

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Location, location, location! The notion that a desirable geographic spot can make a huge difference isn’t exclusive to the world of real estate. Take, for instance, Crossing Lines. At first glance, the show fits comfortably alongside any number of American police procedurals that feature curiously attractive cops and a fresh set of dead bodies each week. It’s a formula that’s worked for decades, so it’s hard to argue for a complete overhaul. The best fans can hope for are clever tweaks to help new shows stand out from the crowded cop show lineup. Crossing Lines accomplishes this by taking all the fake corpses you’ve seen on New York and L.A. streets and scattering them across Europe.
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Comedy Bang! Bang! The Complete First Season

Posted in No Huddle by J C on January 20th, 2014

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– “We at Comedy Bang! Bang! love random humor.”

– “Next to ‘offbeat,’ it’s my favorite.”

IFC’s irreverent talk show spoof has more than its share of bizarre moments involving robotic crows and imaginary dogs that stubbornly refuse to speak. But you shouldn’t be fooled by its anarchic tone; Comedy Bang! Bang! takes very specific aim at decades of inane talk show conventions and gleefully skewers them with a straight face. In other words, it’s not just a funny show; it’s a funny show made by comedy nerds for comedy nerds.
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Carrie (2013) (Blu-ray)

Posted in Disc Reviews by J C on January 16th, 2014

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“They’re gonna laugh at you. They’re all gonna laugh at you.”

The idea of remaking/reimagining/refurbishing a horror classic may have been laughable at one point, but now it’s just business as usual. Then again, I happen to think this is an especially good time to revisit 1976’s Carrie. With all the attention bullying has gotten in the media these last few years, the supernatural story of a high school outsider pushed to her violent breaking point seems particularly timely
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